You might be a Homesteading Housewife If..... (part 8)

- You have ever been caught laying on your belly in the front yard eating wild chives (just like the cows do!)

- You get the worlds worst abscessed tooth in the world and seriously consider using the antibiotics you have in the fridge for the chickens to make it feel better (ANYTHING to make it stop!!)

- You decide to make a new skirt because you just watched a marathon of Little House on the Prairie and love their skirts! now.. how to get their tiny waists!

- When the sound of your young rooster learning how to crow brings joy to your heart and puts a smile on your face (it sounds kinda like a cross between a squeaking old screen door, a frog, and air leaking from a tire)

- Your children ask you what they should get you for Mothers Day... and you tell them a new pig would make you feel like the luckiest mom in the world.

- You have more aprons than most people have shirts! (and you use them all!)

- You go into town, shop at the feed store, buy groceries, stop by the post office, and pick up lunch.. no-one points out that you have chicken poop running down the back of your shirt.

- People call you when they see an animal in distress before they call the ASPCA or other authorities. (and you know what to do!)


Click here to read ------> You Might Be A Homesteading Housewife If archives

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I'm gonna die.... maybe. (poor poor Dana & a recipe too!)

I have been kinda MIA the past several days because I really think I'm gonna die.....
Well.... maybe I'm not gonna die...
I just have had my moments wishing I could die.
Well... not really, I don't wanna die.
Who would water my garden if I died?
Who would quack to the ducks?
Who would love on the donkeys?
Who would lay on their belly and eat the wild chives in the yard?
ok .. so I agree.. I should not die right yet.

I have a terrible.. Horrible... excruciating Abscessed tooth.
Mt face is swollen. I haven't been able to sleep.
I haven't been able to eat.
I am not happy!

There is nothing I can do cept wait for the antibiotics to kick in.... **sigh**
Thank Goodness for Vicodin, or there would be NO peace at all in this house!
At least it gives me a hour of relief at a time.

After 4 days I decided I really needed to eat something.
I needed something comforting.
I needed something easy to chew.
So Worker #1 made one of my favorite soups of all time!
Yep.. he made it.. it's THAT easy!

Mom’s Taco Soup.

1lb lean ground beef.
1 chopped onion
1 chopped bell pepper
1, 28oz can tomatoes (un-drained)
1 can Rotel brand tomatoes & green chilies (optional)
1-2 packages Taco seasoning
1 package Ranch Dressing Mix
½ cup picante sauce
1, 6oz. Can tomato paste
2, 17oz cans corn (un-drained)
2, 15-16oz cans pinto beans (we use Ranch Style Beans)
2 cups water
Salt & pepper to taste

Shredded cheese (I use cheddar)
Tortilla chips.

Brown ground beef, onion & pepper, Drain.
Cut up tomatoes if using whole (I use diced) add tomatoes, with their juice, to the pot.
Add taco mix, ranch mix, picante sauce, tomato sauce, corn, beans, water, salt & pepper.

Simmer 1 hour.
Makes a large pot (approx 12 servings)

Serve in bowls, sprinkle with chips and shredded cheese.

Yummmmmm!!
This can also be made in the crock pot…. Easy Peasy!

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Success!!!!!

As I have whined, cried, bawled, sobbed, told you many MANY times, One of the few things I miss about living in the big city is a really good, really creamy, Iced Coffee drink.

I often would go to a busy coffee shop 2 times a day to get my "fix".

I have tried many different recipes, and never got the results I was looking for....

Until now!!!!

I like to keep a pitcher of this in my fridge, especially during the summer.




Dana's Iced Latte

Ingredients
6-8 cups strong coffee ( I used an espresso blend)

1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk. ( I know I know.... trust me)

Chocolate syrup, (optional, but I LOVE mocha so thats what I do)

Combine all ingredients in a large pitcher.

Refrigerate until chilled

Pour into your favorite glass over ice.

Sit down and prepare to let your toes curl with happiness!

I know I know... how easy does this sound??

Enjoy!

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Things you need water for....

Last-night our water well stopped. It just died. Poof.. no water. Joy!

Inside the house were
4 stinky-dirty-sweaty-sticky-smelly young-men-folk.
1 dirty-sticky Little-Foreman-in-Pink
1 tower of dirty dinner dishes.
1 HUGE mountain of dirty laundry.
And several EMPTY water bottles. (oops)
1 sobbing Mom. (that would be me)

Workers #1 & 2 and I went out to investigate.
The Man-of-My-Dreams instructed us to get out the volt meter thingie to check and see if the pump and it's breaker was getting juice. (they were... not good!)

Oh great.... will we need a new pump? We just bought Man-Town!!
How are we supposed to get a well man to come out here and put in a new pump..
that = $$$$$????

I called the well-man and we waited.
In the mean-time I noticed all of the things that we take for granted that require water.

Showers for the stinky men-folk.
Showers for the women-folk of the house.
Flushing toilets.
washing dishes.
brushing teeth.
making coffee!!!! **sob**sob**
wetting hair to make it less Poofy (workers #1 & 2 were not pleased!)
washing clothes.
watering the chicks and ducks.
watering the cows (but they have the pond so it was ok)
Making tea.
washing hands.
etc etc etc.......


I also realized that all my preaching about being prepared is wonderful.... IF you do it!! (Re-fill water bottles as you use em! Duh!)
grrrrrrrrr!

The well man finally showed up.
Thank Goodness it was NOT the water pump....
It was the 220 line into my house.
a quick re-wire and we were in business again!! whoo hoo!!

and all my water bottles/jugs are filled once again!

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How did this happen?

See these beautiful short people?
They are mine.
I sit here confused....
I am wondering to myself....
How did this happen?

Lets start at the bottom.

Worker #1 is now 6'2" tall! He is driving. He is in High School! He eats, drinks, & breathes fishing. Just bought his first truck, and he has a GIRLFRIEND!!! all this and he still can't keep his pants pulled up!

Worker #2 is the football player, He is also driving. He lives, eats, and drinks music. He just bought his first classic car, an El Camino. he wants to wear all black and have long messy hair. Oh Joy! *sigh*

Workers #1 & #2 are now in the place where they have come to the realization that their ancient mother (that would be me!) is dumber than dirt, and they teeter between lovable young men and ATTITUDE-overdosed, Hormone-filled, awkward hairs popping out of their chins Balls of Yuckyness.

Worker #3. Loves to read. Swears he is allergic to manual labor. Is a straight A student, a Boy Scout, Would live, breathe, eat, drink, and sleep playing video games if I'd let him. (but of course I'm too mean to let him rot in front of the games all day & night!) He is stuck in that place where he wants to run with the big boys... but still likes the little boy things... Tough place to be for a boy.

Worker #4 Is still my baby boy. He can melt even the hardest heart with his smile. His teachers all say they wish they could clone him and fill their classes with this child. Everybody loves him. But alas... he too is growing and becoming more of a young man than a little boy.... this one's gonna hurt!

The Little-Foreman-in-Pink.. what can I say about the only other female in the house? She loves all things "pretty" and makes sure she is pretty while digging in the dirt for worms. She is an amazing little person. But she breaks my heart a little bit each time she stubbornly says "I can do it myself!" and trust me..... she can! and does!! **sob** She can charm you into doing anything one minute then drive ya nuts with her stubbornness the next. (she is just like her daddy! but don't tell him that! It might ruin his rep)

I have wonderful children and this post is NOT about complaining about them....
I AM complaining that they are growing up too fast!!

I am blessed to be their mother.

But.. Do these people have grow up so fast?
Isn't there anything I can do to slow this down??
I am NOT ready for this!!



Got any cheesecake?
send me some ok?

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Camping.. kinda sorta

The Man-of-My-Dreams is back at work.
His new Camper, AKA Man-Town, is still here while he secures a spot to park it and I stock it with the needed supplies.
The short people and I have decided we need to sleep in it before it makes it's journey to Louisiana with Daddy.

They are out there laying claims to their bunks,
opening each and every door and cabinet that can be opened,
exploring each and every square inch of the place,
And seeing who can fit in which cubby-hole.

I am sitting in a quiet house.....
I just may never go back out there!

Oh the joys of "Roughing it".

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Best Pancakes in the World.... EVER!

That's what my family said.
These pancakes are from an old old recipe.
They are just as easy as the pre-bought mix stuff.. and soooo much better!!

Ya gotta try em...
throw in some blueberries.
bananas and walnuts.
apples & cinnamon....
raisins..
or even chocolate chips for something different.
We just made em plain and I quadrupled the batch..
there are none left!!

Don't you wish you had 7 kids (4 of them are 15 year old boys!) at your house??

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 1/4 cups milk
1 egg
3 tablespoons butter, melted

1 teaspoon Vanilla (or to taste)*optional

DIRECTIONS:
1. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.

Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth.

2. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat.

Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake.

Brown on both sides and serve hot.

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He's moving into his own house!!!

Well, kinda sorta...
As I have complained, whined, cried about, pouted about, told you, The Man-of-My-Dreams is working out of state during the week.
One of the things that makes it even harder is the fact that the kids and I can't really go visit and stay with him when he cannot come home on the week-ends.
He has been renting a small travel trailer and sharing it with another guy from his job.

After many months of looking, we found a camper for him to own that we could afford (using his per-diem pay) and that can fit the kids in for a visit too! And it's nice!!!

Did you know that it's harder to get financed for an RV loan than it is to get financed for a house?!?!?
It was CRAZY!! They say it is because tn RV or camper is seen as a luxury item, and you can drive off with it and never be seen again where a house you cannot and it is seen as a need.

Well if The Man-of-My-Dreams wants a job... this is a NEED.
(his next job will not have any place to rent!)

It took lots of prayers, lots of paper-cuts, lots of stress, and a wonderful Mother who was willing to co-sign...

But today it is gonna be in OUR driveway!!!

It has a slide-out that makes a HUGE difference in the feeling of space.

a nice bedroom area for him, couch, table & entertainment center.

A cute, but small kitchen.

little bathroom and dining area.
And 4 extra beds for the boys!! It's perfect for our needs! And.... without having to pay for hotel rooms or eating out at expensive restaurants, we can go on vacations with this thing!!!

Whoo Hoo!!! now I get to decorate!!

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Oh Joy....

Our farm has a barn.
Well, it's more of a shed than a barn, but I am gonna call it a barn.
There is lots of animal feed in this shed/barn.
Animal feed in a shed/barn brings mice.
The mice will inevitably cause the shed/barn owner to throw in a couple of barn cats.
The shed/barn is now free from mice.

The barn cats are sweet things that act more like dogs than kitties...
They follow the short people out to the bus stop each morning, then wait for them to return each afternoon.

Everything was working out just fine.
My shed/barn had no unwanted critters scurrying around.
The cats were fat and happy.
All was well with our little corner of the world.

Until I found some new unwanted critters in my laundry room!
Ok... unwanted may be the wrong word....
Unplanned maybe is a better term....
Bob Barker would be so ashamed!

But.... How cute are they?!?!?

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Times.. They Are a Changing... kinda-sorta

I have been working on the look and lay-out for the new site!!
Wanna peek??

www.HomesteadingHousewife.com

Check out the new recipe box link on the left too!

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

It's a work in progress.....
But I hope to have it up all the way within the next week.
this site will still be the backbone....

There are several reasons I like Blogger hosting my blog (the comments, easy archiving, etc...)
But I must admit I do love having my own web page and building it from the ground up. (like CloverCountryFarms.com & BadMothersAnonymous.com are) If I could figure out how to merge the features from both on one page I'd be very happy!!

till then It'll be http://www.badmothersanonymous.com/ with lots of links to http://homesteadinghousewife.blogspot.com/

anybody a web designer?
well.. a really REALLY cheap one? like free? **giggle**

I need help!

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I'm Borrrrrred (Rant of the Day)

With 5 young-in's running around the place, this is a phrase I hear more often that I'd like.
Well I used to anyway, until I found the magic cure for childhood boredom!!
Yes-sir-ee Bob!!
(who is this Bob anyway? My pesky kids have asked... I never gave it a thought till then) , That's what I said... the CURE for childhood boredom!!

Wanna know the secret?
It's...
It's......

WORK!

I, like countless other mom's got fed up with the chorus of "I'm Bored's" coming from her kids mouth. I mean we have a farm for cryin out loud! There is LOTS to do!
Go fishing
Go play with the chickens!
Go ride the 4-wheeler.
Go exploring the woods.
Take a walk.
Play on the dirt mountain.
Go play with the pile of wood and nails.

But I's still hear... I'm Borrrrrred Mom, there is nothing to do... ***sigh**
grrrrrr

so I came up with a plan...
I'm bored chores.

This is how it works,

A kid comes to me and says "I'm Bored"
I say... "Are you sure your bored?"
They say "Yes, there is nothing to dooooooo."

I whip out my trusty I'm Bored Chores List

It looks something like this.

1.) weed the tomato bed.
2.) Pick up dog-doo piles in the Great Dane pen.
3.) clean all the windows.
4.) dust all the ceiling fans.
5.) Scrape chicken poo off the nest boxes in the hen house.
6.) collect cow poo for the compost pile.
7.) walk around the property and pick things up till this garbage bag is full.
8.) collect sticks for the fire pit.
9.) chop some wood for the smoker.
10.) bathe the Great Danes.

I get to choose which jobs the bored-to-death child gets to do.
Amazingly enough they now never say they are bored.
works like a charm!
Try it!! You'll be glad you did!
A little work won't hurt em anyway!

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Someone is in TROUBLE!

Nope, it's not one of the super-sneaky young-men-folk,

You see the super-sweet Little-Foreman-in-Pink here?
Well, she was being a good little girl and playing in her room.
She came running out, obviously upset and kinda angry....
Put her cute little hands on her cute little hips and said.....

"Mommy!!! here is a Dam Squirrel in the tree!!

You gotta go shoot the little Sh*t before he eats your nuts!!"

(he was in the pecan tree!)

hmmmmmm.

Not good.

I had to sit her down and add another couple words to the

"Bad-Bad-Words-that-I-Can't-Say" List.

Then I gotta call her daddy and her Papa and have a talk with them too!!

grrrrrrrr

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Hi Ho.. Hi Ho.. it's off to court I go !

Well isn't this great.

Remember my pond that I had dug in our back pasture?

Then remember the Dirt Mountain that the man left when he abandoned our work site? This dirt mountain is great fun for the kids, but it left our back pasture almost unusable. The cows cant graze through 7 feet of heavy clay. The mountain blocks the natural run off path for rain water.. so whatever is not covered with heavy clay, is under water.

Well.....
It seems the guy who dug the pond is now suing me for full payment!!
Full payment for half of a job! Crazy
And the estimates that I have gotten from other people to finish his job is gonna cost me more than it would have cost for the whole sha-bang to start with!
geeeezzzz

I am ready.....
I have letters from neighbors....
I have pictures....
I have two estimates for the work thats left...
I know that I am in the right....
But this is new territory for me....

Send me warm fuzzies today ok?
I'm getting kinda nervous.

cue the L.A Law music now....
I'll let ya know how it turns out.

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Meet Rusty the Rooster

After reading all of the suggestions

I must say I agree with a lot of you ..

He looks like a

Rusty

Thanks for helping me!!
I don't know why I didn't think of that name!!

I must have lost my clever hat somewhere..

I'm goin to go look for it...

it has to be round here somewhere....

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Reasons he's The-Man-of-My-Dreams #14

His mind is like a steel trap.. he never forgets.

- He never forgets to tell me he loves me before he hangs up the phone.

- He never forgets to call me every morning while he works out of town.

- He never forgets kiss me good-bye before he leaves the house.

- He never forgets that I told him 6 months ago that I was gonna clean out our closet and purge my stuff, but haven't gotten to it yet.

- He never forgets That I told him I'd get all my stuff out of his little building outside so he would have room for his tools... oops haven't done that one yet either.

- Then there was that time he forgot my Birthday...

This is going down-hill fast...

Never-mind....
He's still The Man-of-My-Dreams...
I just maybe wish he maybe would forget a few things!

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No More Cookin For Me!!!

Yep, you heard me.... I'm done cooking.
From now on, Worker #4 will be known as Chef #2.
(I'll always be #1 in my kitchen, he can deal with that!)

He came home from school and asked me if he could make dinner.
Here's how he did.

He decided he wanted to make corn dogs...

That's kinda funny because he doesnt like corn dogs! goofy kid!

First he mixed the dry ingredients.

so far, so good.

Then he lightly coated the hot dogs with flour.

Coating them with flour or corn starch makes the batter stick to the meat better.

He was working very hard and was very serious about his task.
After mixing the wet ingredients to finish the batter it was time to dunk those dogs!
Notice that we put the batter in a tall drinking glass.. this makes dunking those long dogs much easier.
(thats a little secret I learned from my boyfriend, Alton Brown..
Yeah.. I said Boyfriend.. deal with it...
The Man-of-My-Dreams has accepted it.
He doesn't even cry when I mention Alton's name... anymore)

He dunked and carefully coated each dog perfectly.

The only thing I had to do was man the fryer, He's only 8 years old...
Not quite ready for scalding hot oil just yet.

He beamed with pride at the finished product.
Then he ate like pig.
And now he LOVES corn dogs.
So did the rest of us. He did great!!

Now.... to get him to clean the kitchen... That would be a perfect world!!

The Chef formerly known as Worker #4's Corn Dogs.

1 cup cornmeal
1 3/4 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons salt
1 egg
1/3 - 1/2 cup sugar (depending on your taste)

milk
24 hot dogs
24 wooden skewers
oil for frying


Combine cornmeal, flour, baking powder, salt, egg and sugar.

Add milk until batter has a pancake type consistency (Too much milk, and batter wont stay on hot dogs, too little and your batter will crack while it cooks).

Dry off hot dogs with paper towels, coat with flour, and skewer through the center of the Hot-dog.

Heat at least 2" of cooking oil to 370 degrees F.

Dip skewered hot dogs into batter mix and coat evenly.

Fry until golden brown about 2 1/2 - 3 minutes.

Let cool and drain on a paper towel.

Dive in and enjoy!!

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Were you really looking for me?

One of the really cool features of having this Lil ole blog 'o mine, is my ability to track my visitors.
Don't panic and get out your tin foil hats or anything... I don't have any personal or confidential information about you, but I do get your visit number, city of origin, and the coolest of all.. I get to see your referrer.... in other words, if you clicked on a link to get to my page, I can see where that link is.

Lets say you read one of my posts on HomesteadingToday.com and clicked on a link to my blog, I can see that you were referred from Homesteading Today.
If you googled something and came from there, I see the key words that brought you to my lil ole page.

It's really cool! My family is getting really sick of me announcing visitors.
"Ooooh Y'all!! Look! There is someone from Moulineaux France on my page right now!!! Oooh Aahhhhh"
or
"Knob Lick Kentucky... someone is here from Knob Lick Kentucky.... Did you know there was a Knob Lick Kentucky? Someday I wanna visit Knob Lick Kentucky, just so I can say I was in a city called Knob Lick!!"

But the referrer pages are the most fun...
I have the most fun and get the most disturbed from the Google searches.
I guarantee that 99% of the Googlers who end up on my page were NOT looking for me!

Yes, I get lots of people looking up homemade Fire pits , I get several hits from poor students looking up child labor laws for their college thesis papers or something equally important, Lot's of people want to know how to make home-made cream-of-whatever soups and Home-Made Wine is always popular.

But there are always the few poor souls who do a search for a very specific thing and end up here only to find out it is NOTHING like they are looking for.
Several Google "Wife Swap" and end up getting my stories about our episode of the TV show.
Somehow I'm thinkin that is NOT what they had in mind.
One poor person googled "How to convince my wife to swap"
oops...
I'm thinkin this site was of NO help.

I get several "Cheating Housewives in my area" Google hits per week....
Why? I don't get it.
Will Google please explain to me why on earth this site comes up for THAT search?!??!
And.... Why would a Housewife advertise online to cheat?!?

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

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Yummy Cheerio's Bars

This snack couldn't be easier!

It has Peanut Butter, Honey , Peanuts, chocolate and the whole Grain Goodness of Cheerio's cereal.

Dana's Cheerio's Bars

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup honey

3 cups Cheerio's cereal

1/2 cup chocolate chips (optional)

1/2 cup salted peanuts (optional)

in a small sauce pan, bring the honey & sugar to a boil over med heat. As soon as the sugar is dissolved remove from heat.

Stir in the peanut butter until well blended.

In a separate bowl, combine Cheerios, peanuts & chocolate chips.

Pour the peanut butter & honey mixture over the cereal mixture...

Stir until well coated.

spread into a buttered 9x9 pan

let cool, cut into squares and enjoy!

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Help me name Him

I've gotten several e-mails asking me about the picture of the rooster that I have in the "about me" section.
Well he is our Guard Rooster. He is about 6 feet tall and permanently stands at the end of our driveway.
He was made by an artist in Mexico who uses old tin signs to create rustic sculptures.

He is one of the two that we have here... the second fella is just like this one only I painted him green and white instead of red and white. (they just looked like cut up tin signs till I painted em)
the green guy stands further down the driveway.

Everyone around here knows how to find our place because of this Rooster. He is kind-of our Mascot, and He needs a name.

The problem is.... I name everything.. and I mean EVERYTHING!
But I haven't been able to come up with a fitting name for this guy.

I consider myself to be sporadically clever, and I'm drawing a blank with this guy..

Any ideas?
please help me by leaving my your great , clever, snazzy names in the comments section.

Thanks!!!
I'll post the winning name.

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Crazy Alien Chives?!?!

So I was out walking around the farm this morning.
I was looking for more spring flowers to snap pictures of...
I stumbled upon these!

How strange they look!
Kind-of Alien-like huh?
I didn't have any idea what these strange flower-like things were that were popping up around my driveway.
I picked one to take a closer look.
Then the smell hit me... It was an onion of some sort! Chives maybe. I know what chives look like.. I plant them and love them I plant and love onions.. I used them both in cooking all the time.
But for some reason I have never seen them look like this.

Strange man.... Strange... So I sat down to ponder these new chives and before I knew it I had eaten about 30 of them.. yummy! "burp"

Now... I wanna plant some!

Anybody know what kind they are?

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Gulp....(Our Wife Swap episode)

ok.... I'm stepping out on a limb here...
WAY out!
After many MANY requests from people to see our episode of Wife Swap I finally decided to upload some of the show to my You Tube account.

You know how they say that the camera adds 10lbs to you?
Well.... Mine added lets say 40lbs to me.
They did not use the Super-pretty, skinny model lens in my shots.
Instead they used the super-fat, scary-looking-hag lens.
Keep that in mind and I'll let you see it ok?

Ok.... here goes....
Please don't slam the door while running away.

The first video is meeting our family and saying good-bye before we leave on our long journey to another family.
(I had to video it off of my TV, so the sound quality isnt that good, but it'll have to do)

This next video is going to show the new "Mom" Tina and I looking around our new homes for the show.

(Oh.. and the 3 pieces of clothing hangin in the closet that really bothers her? thats because they emptied the closet out for her clothes! geeeezzze)

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Wife Swap Videos #2

Here we get to meet our new families, and get to read each-others "Household Manual".

Now... Keep in mind that the show really likes to show clips that make each side seem even more extreme than they are...
Keep in mind.... 144 HOURS filmed... 42 MINUTES shown......





Meeting the families.

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Wife Swap Videos 3

The Rule Change Meetings.
This includes the infamous "Stew episode"

(I do NOT usually look like this!..Well.. NOT THIS bad......Oh My.... Extremes y'all... that's what it's all about.)
Oh.. and The Man-of-My-Dreams is NOT that mean and scary of a guy... but he does play one on TV.




This clip shows the Knife/Stew incident and The Man-of-My-Dreams tried Meditation.... HA!



Together again!!!


There was no big drama at our table meeting. We all got along just fine as a matter of fact.

thats it for the videos...
Now go and forget you ever saw these!

and remember.... They used the fat & ugly lens on me.

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Off to the Radio Station

Off to do the radio "Party Line"
If your totally bored and would like to hear just go to the radio stations web page
by clicking here -----> KSHN then click "listen Live" in the top left hand of the page.
I'll be there from 9:30-10:00am Eastern Time.

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