Monthly BMA Meeting (Bad Mothers Anonymous)

Poor Poor Worker #1

1.) I was out in the shed/barn with worker #1. I was annoyed with the amount of junk that just gets thrown in there. I found an old silver platter under the hay.... "Why do y'all just throw everything in here?!?!?" I yelled. I threw the platter out of the door.
Worker #1 turned around to see what I was yelling about....
Yep, you guessed it... the air caught the platter just right (think Frisbee) it whacked him right between the eyes... HARD!
He instantly fell to the ground like a sack of rocks.....
I could hardly run to check on the poor wounded child because I was laughing so hard.
(Don't worry... the bruising & swelling will go down in a day or two).


2.) Being the wonderful and kind mother that I am, I sent worker #1 a zip-lock baggie full of Jerky to eat after school. (he loves jerky) Only to realize , after he left, that I had mistaken the bag of Bacon treats for the dog for beef jerky. He ate em all! .... so, I didn't bother to tell him about the mix-up.

3.) Worker #1 was having trouble with his algebra homework. I decided I would help him. (dad was not home.. he is the math-helper)
I quickly realized what he was doing wrong and we spent the next hour changing every answer on his homework. I explained how to do the problems... we worked and worked at it until he understood the right way to do this type of problem....

When they graded the homework.. he missed every single question... The ones we erased.. were right the first time. oops! (I didn't know you could actually get a 20 on a paper!)

You can find the archives of other BMA confessions and meetings by clicking HERE

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Dog Dayz of Winter.

I feel ya.... there are some days I feel like I can fall asleep anywhere too...

But your sunbeam sure looks inviting Otis!
Scooch over....

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Scalloped Corn... Yummmmm!

This is one of our all time favorite side dishes.
Thanks to My Spoiled-Rotten-Little-Sister Bethany.
It's almost too easy!
And it's definitely too yummy for our own good!

This is a great dish to let the kids make! Mine have all made it and it always turns out GREAT!
And they love to cook something the whole family devourers.
Get your kids cooking with you!! You won't regret it!

It's so good I couldn't even get a pisture before the Little-Foreman-in-Pink ate half of it!

" Scalloped Corn"

2 cans corn "drained"
1 can cream-style corn
some diced bell pepper (optional, add as much or as little as you want)
Diced Onion (optional, add as much or as little as you want)
2 eggs
1/4 cup melted butter
1 cup sour cream
a shake or two of salt & pepper
1 box corn bread mix (11 oz) I like Jiffy Brand best!
I also like to add a dash of cayenne pepper do whatever sounds good to you..

Mix all the ingredients together.

pour into 8x8 or 9x9 baking dish


bake 35-40min at 350 degrees or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

I always at least double this and use a 9x13 baking dish....
Its great for a big crowd! but cooking times will get longer too.



Enjoy!!

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4 boys & 10 windows.

I have 4 boys.
I have 10 broken or cracked windows.

window #1 -rock thrown at brother (bad aim)
window #2 - rough-housing on bunk-bed. (misplaced kick)
window #3 - baseball (bad pitch)
window #4 - dresser. (bad moving)
window #5 - fell (forgot to prop it open)
window #6 - shoe (thrown into room.. again, bad aim)
window #7 - paintball gun (don't ask)
window #8 - mystery. (no-one has a clue, uh-huh... right)
window #9 - flying screwdriver (left in yard so I ran over it while mowing)
window #10 - broken by "Not-Me" (Not-Me is a ghost in our house)

And people say girls are expensive??!!??

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Links/Friends

Here you will find links to friends and some of my favorite sites.

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Awards

This is where I will list any awards that awesome people have been kind enough to send my way. :)

on the brand new site!

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PLaced our first Geocache!!

We finally did it!!

We placed our very first Geocache!

Now we wait to see who comes to find it.

Here is a short video of what our Geocache is...

Vanna White? Watch out!! I'm commin!!.

(yep, I'm kinda dorky like that.)

Can YOU find it???

Click to see the Geocaching.com Listing.

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a Day with no rain!!

Yesterday was the first day in weeks with no rain!
It was nice, soooo we went Geocaching.

We have a Rent-a-Worker this week.

So that makes three.. yep, count em.. THREE 15 year old boys.

The Rent-a-Worker is the one on the far right.

We quickly converted him to a Geocacher!!

He loved it! whoo hoo!

I'm telling you.. if you haven't looked into Geocaching yet.. you've gotta check it out!

http://www.geocaching.com/ is the place to start.

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You Might be a Homesteading Housewife If... (part 5)

1.) Your children have a chalk board full of tally marks & make bets about which barn cat will get the next mouse.

2.) You have ever heard the words.... "Mom.... The goat is out of her pen and on the car again!"

3.) Your hubby takes the family pig to the butchers and by the time he gets there he realizes he has become the leader of a convoy of muddy pick-up trucks full of men from the local diner who saw him drive by and just had to come see the HUGE pig. (he brags about this fact for years to follow.. Fatback, the pig weighed 450lbs!)

4.) The local Vet calls YOU when she happens to run across a homeless turkey or pig knowing you'll take it off of their hands.

5.) You have ever had the local pre-school teacher call you and ask if she can bring her class to your house for a field trip.

6.) You have more than 5 cars a week drive by your place reeeeealy slow to see the "Wife Swap" farm.

7.) The county extension agent knows you by name.

8.) You know what a treasure & wealth of information your county extension office is. and have their number on speed-dial!

9.) You hear or say the words "I'm Fixin To..." more than 10 times a day.

10.) Your husband has ever called the local feed store and asked them to hide the baby chicks because you are on your way down there.

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I See Sick People

**Sigh**

Worker #3 has a sobbing-in-pain, double ear infection.
AND would-cough-hard-if-it-didn't-hurt-his-ears, Pneumonia.

The Little-Foreman-in-Pink has an I'm-gonna-cry-and-whine-and-sit-in-your-lap-all-day ear infection.
AND I-don't-wanna-eat-or-drink-or-talk strep throat.

The flu is flowing around these parts. some schools have even closed due to so many sick young-ins!!

Between The-Man-of-My-Dreams knee surg last week, and 5 kids. I have had at least one person home sick every day for the past three weeks!

Spring???

Where are you ??
Come out
Come Out
Where-ever You are.....

someone send help....
Please?!?...
or prayers.....
or Play-Doh?
Or Cheese Cake?

please?
Pretty Please??

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Farm For Sale!! CHEAP!!

I happen to know that this farm has been loved.
It is our family farm.

Please come take it now!!
Beacuse I am moving out as we speak!

It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact I just found this fella in the boys bathroom....
Nope.. nothing to do with him at all.

(((((shudder))))

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Hello Beautiful!

Lookie what I've got!

I am willing spring to come!

Is there anything better than feeling the satisfaction when you see your first sprouting tomato seedling of the year?

Well... maybe taking the first bite from that first, sweet from the vine, juices running down your arm, dripping off your elbow and chin home grown tomato... but it is a close second....

Hello Beautiful!

And Hello to all your beautiful friends too!
Oooh and Hello chives... You cute little things you...
So happy to have you join me. Hi!

and to join my 72 tomato seedlings

planter full of chives.

planter full of parsley

planter full of basil.

planter full of sage.

I also have 55 sweet pepper plants starting.

and 55 HOT pepper plants starting (those are the the Man-of-My-Dreams. I'm too big of a sissy to eat those!)

Hurry Spring!!!

please?...

Pretty Please???

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Lazy Day

The Man-of-My-Dreams is home sick with the flu.

He is really getting tired of being the patient.
Last week his knee surgery... this week the flu.
He is NOT impressed to say the least!

It's windy, wet, & chilly outside.
It's the kind of day when you just feel like snuggling back down under the covers and staying there.

We watched some TV.

(Notice how the Man-of-My-Dreams looks like he's getting ready to kill the sweet loving woman behind the camera? Geesh!!

men are not nice when they are sick! cept to their baby girls, she is right at home in his lap.)

Pretty soon I noticed there were less and less people in the room with me....
I looked around and found em ...
then I looked for a gas leak! lol there was none. Just a good old dose of the Lazies.

I found the Little-Foreman-in-Pink passed out on the ottoman in the living room.

I found worker #4 crashed in MY bed!

Worker #3 was also there... Remember this quilt? I did indeed finish it! and he does indeed love it! whew!

workers #1 & #2 snuck outside to play with their paint-ball gun.. I now have pretty fluorescent green and orange trees!

And of course I didn't sleep at all! there was no room left for me!

Oh.. and the Man-of-My-Dreams? well he told me that I'd be sleepin with the cows if I posted the picture of him in his NyQuil induced coma on the couch.... maybe later. ;)

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The Little-Foreman-in-Pink's Nemesis

Poor Poor Little-Foreman-in-Pink she gets no peace.

She is only 4 years old and already has a little admirer.. or Nemesis.. depends on the day.
His Name is Otis. The Killer Boston Terrier Guard Puppy.

She can't sit on the couch....
(try to watch this and not catch a little bit of that infectious giggle. I double-dog-dare you!)

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The Little-Foreman-in-Pink's Nemesis (2)

The poor girl can't even play with her Sit-n-Spin without him trying to save her from the mean ole spinning thing!
(and I wonder why I spend so much time mending her pants!)


What a rough life....

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Why?

1.) Why did the Man-of-My-Dreams come down with the flu ONE day after being released to go back to work after his knee surgery? (poor baby is so sick he can't see straight! This would have come in handy when I was trying to keep him on the couch after his surgery!)

2.) Why did the water line going into the bathroom decide to spring a major leak the day AFTER the Man-of-My-Dreams left town to go back to work? (while sick as a dog)

3.) Why do I only notice that I have a newly-sprouted thick dark hair growing out of my chin when I am in the car and can't remove it before I have to go in somewhere? (It's GREAT to be getting older... men lose their hair... we sprout new ones where they should NOT be!!)

4.) Why, the first week I have been really really good on my diet did I gain 1 pound?!?!? (heck! I might as well eat the ice cream!)

5.) Why Does it only rain/sleet on the one night I forgot to roll up my car windows?

6.) Why, when the smarter-than-your-average cow gets out of her pasture, does she have to knock the only breakable thing off of your porch?

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SPRING is coming!!!!!

Seed catalogs are starting to arrive in the mail!!
I just love it when the seed catalogs start to come in the mail!

I spend hours and hours looking through the pages.
Drooling with the thought and the possibilities.

Planning my perfect garden that will be weed free, and produce enough fresh nutritious, wholesome, food for my family.
Not only enough food for us to eat all the fresh veggies all summer that we could ever want, but enough to can/freeze/put up for the rest of the year!

Ohhh the dreams....
Ohhh the possibilities.

I make lists....
I get out the graph paper to plot out my garden.
I position the plants (well really color coded dots on the graph paper) according to heights and sun requirements.
I figure out which veggies help feed other veggies (carrots love tomatoes).
I start to plan what kind of pretty ornate things I can gather for my pole beans and cukes to climb.

I plan the perfect garden.
I plan a beautiful garden.
A garden that will make my neighbors stop in awe as they pass by.

I do this every year.
It's a wonderful time of year!!

I just love it when the seed catalogs come!!

now....
can anybody tell me how to actually follow through with my grand plans?
In reality...
I plant this "perfect garden"
then Life happens.....
I don't weed as often as I should.
I don't pick the stink bugs off of everything like I should.
The cow gets out of her pen and visits.
and my beautiful garden (on paper) becomes a thing of shame.
My mother in law comes over to glean some green beans and peppers and leaves in disgust, unsure of how her son managed to find a woman who can kill zucchini.

I have books & books on perfect gardening.
I read em all.
But somehow never quite get it right.

But the seed catalogs are here!!
This brings new hope!
This brings new dreams!
More pages of perfectly drawn out plans!
This brings new dreams!

Things are perfect!!........ for now.

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My new Hero!!

I am in awe!!
Mom's .. sit ,
click play..
and try not to fall out of your chair...

I know many of you have already seen this.. but I have watched it over 254,977 times now and still LOVE her!


For those of you with Dial-up (I feel your pain... I just got DSL and am in Heaven!)

"The Mom Song", sung to the "William Tell Overture,
by Anita Renfroe. (LOVE her!!)

"The Mom Song"

Get up now Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepyhead
Here's your clothes and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed

Are you hot? Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget! You gotta feed the cat

Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall

Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don't shovel Chew slowly
But hurry The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don't play rough, will you just play fair?

Be polite, make a friend, don't forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don't make me come down there!!

Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?

Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don't sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up

Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom someday when you're older and you're grown

Can't wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me

Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate

Get an A, get the door, don't get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I'll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of,"I don't care who started it!You're grounded until you're 36"

Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven's sake

And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before
That you're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking

Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place

Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about

Oh!Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get up here, say a prayer with mom
Don't forget, I love you

And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because,
because,
because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I'm the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!

Ta da!!!

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Some rules of living frugally

A friend of mine sent me this....
Some good ideas in there....

You should cook at home instead of eating out.

You should not buy a new vehicle if you can make do with an old one.

You should switch off the lights, fan, TV etc when you exit the room.

You should not pay for services that you are fit and healthy to do on your own.

You should not pay full price for any item that will eventually be available on sale.

Thou shalt not pay anything at all for what can be had for free through nature or public offerings.

You should not covet thy neighbor Joneses belongings.

You should not waste – be it money, leftovers or time.

You should entertain yourself through inexpensive means.

You should live by the 3 R’s – Reduce, Reuse or Recycle.

You should not confuse frugality with cheapness.

I'll add some of mine too.

You should write down every penny you spend. this will help you see where it all goes (I'm working on this one.)

You should always always shop from a shopping list to avoid those impulse purchases.

You should turn off your stuff! when not using it!!

Insulate insulate insulate!

and my personal ones......
I should stay off Ebay!
I should stay off Amazon.com!

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know the answer?

try to answer these tricky questions...
the answers ate listed in the comments section.

What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away?

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms: The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

Look down! the answers are in the comments sections (just click on leave a comment.)

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Useless trivia (Animal edition)

I have compiled this list from all sorts of places. I found these interesting... have a look!

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. (who actually had a cow upstairs to test this?!?!)

There are as many chickens on this planet as humans.

A group of crows is called a murder.

Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. It's called parthenogenesis. (well.. THATS no fun!)

Pigs can't sweat because they don't have sweat glands.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (now THAT sounds better than the turkeys!)

A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.

The turkey was wrongly named after what was thought to be it's country of origin.

You are 3 times more likely to be killed by a flying champagne cork than you are to be killed by the bite of a venomous spider.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A mole can dig about 92 metres in 1 night.

In rural areas, there are more insects in 1 square mile than there are humans on earth.

An ant can survive for up to two days underwater.

A flea can jump 350 times its own body length.

Out of 20,000 species of bees, only 4 make honey.

The average person eats eight spiders in their sleep in their whole entire lifetime! (THATS a nice thought!)

Hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backwards.

75% of wild birds die before they are 6 months old.

A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

there.... doncha feel smarter now?

you can thank me later...

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a Very Annoying sound....

Wanna know what one of the most annoying sounds in the world is?

Well... it isn't so bad until you hear it for hours on end.. and its accompanied with the knowledge that the 5 Tom's want to KILL you.

They were in the holding pen... and wanted nothing more than to get at worker #1 (the amateur camera man)

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You Might Be a Homesteading Housewife if... (part four)

1.) When people brag to you about their babies and how advanced they are for their age, you start talking about your Smarter-than-the-Average-Cow, and how advanced she is for her age.

2.) The produce managers run and hide when they see you enter the grocery store because they just know your gonna beg for their scraps for your critters... again....

3.) The Man-of-your-Dreams brings you new rubber boots home from work and you are thrilled! (who needs Jimmy Choo?)

4.) Your birthday wish list includes a new fence puller, and a wench for your 4-wheeler.

5.) Your backyard looks something like this....
Because you told your boys that they could burn some leaves if they raked em up...

(come on.. haven't you ever burnt a ton of leaves to make a race track for your 4-wheeler in YOUR back yard?? Brilliant!!)

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The Flu is flowing.

As if having the Man-of-My-Dreams home recovering from his knee surgery wasn't enough,
I also have worker #3 home with the flu... and this, of course, means that workers #1 #2 & #4 not to mention the Little-Foreman-in-Pink. will soon follow.....

Oh joy.

please pray for me.... Oh yeah... and them too.

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I've been Tagged!! Meme - 7 Weird Things About Me

My friend ClaireBoe tagged me for this meme:

The rules are as follows: Simply link to the person who tagged you. SHARE SEVEN WEIRD things about yourself.

ok.. I'm game....

1.) I love the smell of exhaust from a car... It can kill me.. I know I know.

2.) I never wear shoes (unless I absolutely have to) I carry a pair in my car for when I have to get out at a store etc...

3.) Growing up, my last name was Fasnacht. (fos-snot) (yeah.. THAT didnt get me made fun of!)

4.) I am scared of moths. it's one of my irrational fears.

5.) I can't spell for the life of me. If it wern't for Spell-Check I'd be doomed!

6.) I'm kind-of a freak about butter..... I can't stand it messed up... so of course the Man-of-My-Dreams MUST gouge it with a crumby fork any chance he gets!! I'll throw it out!!.. yes I'm a freak that way.

7.) Wife Swap.... need I say more? ;)

this was fun!
Now you know what a freak I really am!! not that there was any doubt about it already.

Thanks ClaireBoe !

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He's fine!

well.. The Man-of-My-Dreams had his knee surgery this morning.
Thanks to all who sent prayers and warm thoughts they meant a lot!

They found out that he did indeed have a 75% tear of his cartilage, they took out the damaged part and sewed him right on up and he should be great after he heals. Thank Goodness!!

Now to answer the real burning question...

How did he do with the anesthesia?
hmmm well he did go to sleep quickly. he didn't get past 98 (you know when they tell you to count backwards from 100).

I was a little bit worried about him waking up swinging.... because he was a fighter in his younger days....

My man.... My husband... Mr tough Guy....
Turned into the biggest pile of flirting mush you have ever seen!

He woke up complaining because there was no music playing.
Then he proceeded to sing and ask all of the nurses to dance!

Of course they all fell in love with him.

Who wouldn't?
I mean... a big strapping man serenading you and asking you to dance? as long as you could ignore the drool he seemed perfect! ;)

He's fully awake now and sitting on the couch complaining about the fact he isn't outside fixing the fence where the Smarter-Than-Your-Average-Cow managed to push through yet again.

All is back to normal and he's gonna be fine....

Thank Goodness to Vicodin or I'd never make it through this week!
I'll just keep him doped up and we'll be fine.

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Beating the winter blahs....

Ok...

I live in Texas... our winter blues are not brought on by feet of frigid snow. (not that I would mind a little snow)

Our blues are not brought on my slick ice. Or even slushy slush.
My winter blues are brought on by the brownness.
The blahiness. (dontcha just love making up new words?)
There are crunchy non fall-colored leaves all over.
There is mud from the rains.
It's just ugly.
It's not cold cold. It does frost some nights. And it's still wet humid yucky. BLAH.

At least snow feels clean.
At least snow looks clean. (cept for the snow near Akron Ohio... our snow there was gray... yuck!)
Icicles hanging all over look majestic and jewel-like.
But the mud here is not majestic. It is not pretty.
It does not look clean. it is Blah!

Today I filled 4 planters with rich dirt and compost.

One of the planters is now planted with various chives.

One is full of herbs

One is full of lettuce.

And one is full of tomatoes!! (there is nothing in the world better than a home grown tomato!!)

Ooooh I can't wait!!!

Soon I'll have homegrown veggies.. even tho it is brown and chilly and blah outside.

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cheap smokin! (The Brinkmann Grill)

I have gotten several e-mails asking me what kind of smoker we use for smoking our meat. Well.... ours is made out of an old 500gal propane tank. A 500 gal propane tank is not for everyone.

But I was looking around today and talking to some of our friends and I found a great smoker for a great price and it does a great job!!
The Brinkmann Grill!
This baby can put out some smoke!! I was very impressed.
It is a smaller size so everyone could find a place to stick it.
But it has over 188" of cooking space!
I think it's a great idea!!

If your looking fora great little smoker check out The Brinkmann Grill and you too can smoke some wonderful meat!
It is fueled by charcoal.... but I'd throw in some of your favorite smokin wood too!

So if your lookin for a great smoker for a little price tag.. check out The Brinkmann Grill!!
and Get Smokin!!!

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Homemade Wine 101 (Citrus- Kumquat wine)

What do you do when your father-in-law has a bumper crop of sweet, juicy kumquats?

Yep.... you eat as many as you can. But then you still have TONS left over... whatcha gonna do?Make Kumquat wine!! (remember homemade prison wine 101?) <---click to read about it.

1.) Gather your wine makin stuff.

enough fruit to have 6 cups prepared fruit.

6 cups sugar.

1 gallon distilled water.

a big container to let it brew/age in.

(I use a 2 gallon glass jug thingie with a lid.)

Prepare your fruit.

For citrus or in this case kumquats this means.. wash em... then cut them in half.

Make sure your container is clean & disinfected. I do this by washing it in hot water or the dishwasher.. then adding 2 tablespoons of bleach in it then filling it with water and dumping it out.

2.) dump 6 cups of sugar into your clean container.

3.) add your gallon of distilled water.

4.) stir well

Keep stirring until all of the sugar is dissolved.

5.) dump in your 6 cups of prepared fruit.

6.) give it another stir.

Let your little helper clean the spoon.

Wrap your container with plastic wrap. You want to be able to swirl or stir your mixture once a day for 30 days... During this time it will fizz, you want the air to be able to escape but you also want to keep fruit flies and such out. Those pesky fruit flies can send your batch of wine south fast!

Set your container in a cool dark place (or be like me and just leave it on your kitchen counter) and let it brew for 30 days. You want to stir it at least once a day (or just swirl it so the fruit mixes around a little bit)

After 30 days...

scoop out the fruit and toss it out to your pigs (drunk pigs are a riot!!) or just throw em away of you dont have any pigs.

Strain your wine through a couple of layers of cheese cloth.

Then bottle it.

I let mine age for at least 6 months... the longer the better.

Enjoy!!

Go forth and make wine!!!!

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I get no respect!

I just told you how excited I was about the Bovine love happinin round here.

I thought they were my buddies.

I thought they were my new BFF's.

I thought our relationship was based on mutual love and respect (and sweet potatoes)

Today I went out to commune with my new friends.

I turned my back for one second. Turned back around quickly and they were doing this!!!

No respect!! I am crushed.... Do you think they may just be using me for food?

Do you think they really dont love me after all??

**sniff** **sniff**

Now I have to rethink our whole relationship.

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Bovine Love

I am so happy today!
as I have said before, we have two cows.
Hershey (the smarter than your average cow)
Paris (The Dumb blond cow)

I adore the Holstein look of Hershey, so of course she is the cow that will not let you touch her.
Paris is getting better but still very skiddish.
I have tried feeding them treats.....
Bread.. nope...
apples....nope
celery... nope....
even corn! nope

Today they ate out of my hand! and Now Paris LOVES me!! whoo hoooo!
I mean reallllly loves me...
I can't walk by her without her looking for the raw sweet potatoes or carrots that she thinks I magically produce out of my hand!
who'da thunk I'd be so excited to be slimed and loved on by a cow?

did you know that a cows tongue is rougher than a cats? I have road rash all over my arm from her tongue! and I LOVE it!!!

My Mother told me I need to get a life. **sigh**

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I Need a Time Machine QUICK!!!

I need to go back in time!!
I am scared.
I mean truly terrified!
I am, at this very second, having a "Stomping my foot screaming I Don't Want It!!!" moment.

I have fooled myself for as long as I can... I thought I was in charge of things around here... I thought I had some say so on how things went. I thought I had some control!...

I have No control.. No control over anything!!!! if I did.. this would not be happening!!!

Worker #1 started Drivers Ed yesterday. remember worker #1?? <---(click to read about him) Oh dear! When did he become old enough to drive????
How did this happen??
I can't even get him to keep his pants pulled up and they are gonna let him DRIVE?!?!?!?
This is the same child who can't walk through a room without knocking something over or falling down!
He is a great kid.... but drive?!?!? Oh my goodness!!!!

I guess it's a good thing he'll be in the classroom portion of the driving thing for a month.. so I can get used to the idea.
Then I have to teach him how to drive a real moving vehicle!! Oh My Goodness!!

I really better get used to it....
Worker #2 starts Drivers Ed next month...... remember him?? <---(click to read about him)
We may never be safe again!!!

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Week #2 (My Journey into frugality)

The more thought I put into this Journey into Frugality, the more areas of my life I realize could be considered "fugal" if done right.

My Home... Nope, I'm not talking about energy efficiency , though that is very important... I'm talking about space! As I have whined and complained about many MANY times.. we have a very very small house... there are 7 of us living here, this leave very very little space...

The problem is... It it very cluttered. Not "dirty" but cluttered. Every horizontal surface in my house seems to be a magnet for "stuff".
I have stacks of "stuff".
I have bins of "stuff".
I have closets full of "stuff".
I have bags of "stuff".
I have shelves of "stuff".
I have boxes of "stuff".

Too much stuff.

I need to be fugal with my space in my house.
Today I am going to start with my office/desk area.
I am going to purge and throw out "stuff".
I am going to fight my urge to keep things.
This is a very big deal for me.
I don't like to throw "stuff" out. I never have.... I look at my stuff and think.. "Hey I might need that someday!" So it sits in a stack of stuff and I never ever end up using it.

The Mam-of-My-Dreams, however could throw out everything!!
He will be shocked when he comes home and finds things a little less "stuffed & Cluttered".

I mean I want to have a tidy clutter-free home....
I want to be able to showcase the things I really love instead of it getting lost in the clutter.
But I get overwhelmed then quit.

I am NOT going to get over whelmed this time. (I hope)
I will get clutter gone. (or at least greatly reduced)
I will organize the "Stuff" that I do decide to keep.

So now.. I am sitting behind one bin labeled "Throw Out"
One bin labeled "Sell"
One bin labeled "Keep"
and one bin labeled "Donate"

Wish me luck....
If you don't hear from me in a day or two, please send help.... I may have gotten stuck under "Stuff"!

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Preparing for a difficult week.

The Man-of-My-Dreams is scheduled to have knee surgery on Monday (the 14th).

We went to the hospital to pre-register today.

The nurse came in to talk to him....


She went over the normal questions....

Are you allergic to any medications? yep...... true

Any funky side effects from anesthesia? nope.... He would never know because he has never even had stitches. I'm just waiting for him to wig out on me and start looking for pink submarines in the recovery room.... I will try to sneak in my video camera.. it should be great!

High blood pressure? nope

Blood disorders? nope

Do you know how to use crutches? yep.... LOL sure you do.. big man..... the first thing he wanted to to was have a race with the boys. (they sent them home with him today so he can practice)

Do you need me to explain the pain management drugs to you? nope... I won't need any. This is where I had to step in.... I am married to a wonderful man... But he will live in terrible pain and not take anything for it! I understand people not wanting to take unneeded drugs.... But Come on people!! If you are hurting.... I mean REALLY hurting like oh.... you just had your knee cut open and crushed cartilage scooped out then stitches put in hurting... Take the pain meds for cryin out loud!!! Why sit there in pain? Why make the rest of your family suffer because you are being stubborn. It is legal for you to take the "good stuff" under these circumstances you are in pain.. TAKE IT!!!

You do understand that you will need to rest and stay off of your leg for 5 days.. right? Ha! I'll be out cutting wood and working by Tuesday. Bring it on!! ((Grunt grunt)) It was at this point I pulled the nurse out of the little consult room and begged her for some other drugs that I could use to knock him out. She laughed.... she obviously doesn't know who she is dealing with here!!! This man is unable to just sit there..... he MUST be up and doing something at all times or I truly think his head will explode!!! she said no.... then I broke into tears and begged for something to knock ME out until he was all better.

You cannot eat or drink anything after midnight the night before your surgery, ok? What?? you know .... my knee doesn't really hurt that bad after all.... I think we should just drop this whole idea... come on lets go get lunch. Honey sit down and be quiet!

Do you have any questions?

Can I drive home? no, NO!

What about breakfast? can I eat a little breakfast? Nothing to eat or drink. Baby... drop it. I'll be waiting with a Big Mac when you wake up ok? now shhhhh!

What about Sprite... it's clear... it doesn't count as "real" food or drink does it? Can I have my Sprite? No, NOTHING to eat or drink. Honey.... stop it. You wont die I promise.

Get out of my office!!! I'll see you Monday Morning.....
Please pray for me..... please.

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Reason He is the Man-of-My-Dreams #13.

He can fix my broken dishwasher!!!!
(If you had 4 boys washing dishes you'd understand... there is nothing like taking a big ole swig of Diet Coke only to find it has an oil-slick on top... yummy!)

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I Just Can't Get Enough... again.

In an effort to make me more "cool" worker #1 got me an I-Pod for Christmas. (and to stop me from stealing his every time I mow the lawn)

I am now one of those people who walk around (or in my case sit at my desk) in their own little world listening to the voices sing in her head.
The problem with being in your own little world listening to the voices sing in your head loudly is that , for some reason you begin to think you can sing along and actually sound good.

I was sitting here minding my own business when "I just Can't Get Enough, by Depeche Mode" began to play. I love music from the 80's I was in High School in the 80's there is NO way a song like "I Just Can't Get Enough" By Depeche Mode could come on and NOT make me crank it up to high and sing my inner 16 year old heart out.

So, of course I began to sing.....
The problem with this is.. when you are singing with the loud voices in your head, you cannot hear the sounds that are actually coming out of your own mouth. Thus, You are actually singing at the top of your lungs and sounding kind of like a cross between a dying cow and a moose in heat. (You don't know what a dying cow and moose in heat sounds like? well your lucky!)

I was 16 again!
I was smiling.
My hair was flinging.

suddenly, with that song, I was transported back to my green Ford Tempo with My BFF Marlene... we were cruising Palmer Highway.... turning around in the Sonic Drive in ... then again in the SAFEWAY parking lot. Waving at all the cute boys. Singing loudly to "I Just Can't Get Enough" By Depeche Mode.
Ahhhhh those were the days.....

Then I turned around.....
And saw workers #1 & #2 standing with looks of horror on their poor little faces......
"Mom!!! Please PLEASE Promise you'll never EVER listen to your I-pod when our friends come over!!!!

Doncha just love it when reality comes in and smacks you up-side the head and ruins your 80's flashback?? **sigh**

Ooooohhh I gotta go!!

Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar.... is playing now.........

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I don't trust em! (Rant of the Day)

1.) Beautiful skinny new moms.
You know who I'm talking about. They are the drop dead stinking gorgeous women who wear a size two as they leave the hospital with their newborn baby.

They live with a newborn and have glowing skin. No dark circles under their eyes, hair neat as a pin, full make-up, unstained clothes.....

I just don't get it! I am still carrying baby weight from my first born son!! (he's 15 for crying out loud!!!) I still have circles under my eyes from lack of sleep!

Kudos to them.... But.... I don't trust em... I am convinced they are aliens... or communists.... or just plain ol evil.....
(if you are one of those crazy-lucky women... don't take it personally... But I don't trust you!)

2.) The White Sock Council .... remember why? White Socks!!!! (Rant-Of-The-Day)

3.) Skinny Cooks. OK well.. skinny GOOD cooks. I consider myself a good cook, and I think my size is a testament to that. I am a good cook.. therefore I eat more than you.. therefore I am fatter than you. But Hey!! I am a GREAT cook!! (yeah.. like that makes it better.... **sigh**)

4.) The people who decided to package everything in that thick molded plastic that is sealed all around the edges (think batteries, any child's toy etc..) that makes it crazy hard to open! I'm telling you! I have almost cut my hand off more than once trying to get into this adult-proof packaging with a kitchen knife. I know they do it just to bug me!!

5.) The companies or stores who put sticker and/or labels smack dab in the middle of their products. You know.. those labels that you can NEVER EVER get off in one piece? If you do manage to get the sticker off it leave perma-stickiness on the thing it was on? WHY don't they just put them on the bottom where it doesn't matter? huh? why??


to be continued...

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Home-Made Cream of Whatever Soup (recipe)

I have been talking bout trying to make more from scratch and buying less prepared foods....

I use canned cream of whatever soups a LOT.
Now we can make our own!!

Home-Made Cream of Whatever Soup

2 Tbs butter

2 Tbs flour

1/4 tsp salt (optional)

1 cup milk
In a heavy saucepan, melt the butter.

Sprinkle the flour over it and stir to incorporate.

Cook over medium low heat for 2-3 minutes, stirring constantly.

Slowly whisk in the milk.

Cream of Chicken Soup

use half broth and half milk. or toss in some chicken bullion.

Cheese sauce
To make a cheese sauce, add grated cheese and stir until melted.

Cream of Mushroom or Celery
To make a cream of something, saute 1/4 cup or so finely chopped celery, mushrooms, or onion in the butter before adding the flour and use half broth and half milk.

Or.... a friend of mine on homesteadingtoday.com also posted this great looking one!

Base for cream of anything soup

Ingredients:

2 cups Powdered nonfat milk

3/4 cup Cornstarch

1/4 cup (or less) instant chicken(or Vegetable) Boullion

2 tablespoons Dried onion flakes

1 teaspoon Basil leaves

1 teaspoon Thyme leaves

1/2 teaspoon Pepper

Directions:

To use in place of canned cream soups in casseroles or as a base for your own soups.

Much lower in fat and salt than the canned versions.

The trick is to have it made up ready to use!

Combine all ingredients, mixing well. Store in an airtight container until ready to use.

To sustitute for one can of condensed soup: Combine 1/3 cup of dry mix with 1 1/4 cups of cold water in saucepan.

Cook and stir until thickened. Add to casserole as you would the canned product.

Variations:

Mushroom Soup: Add 1/2 cup finely chopped mushrooms

Celery Soup: Add 1/2 cup minced celery

Potato Soup: Add 1 cup diced potatoes, cooked

Chicken Soup: Add 1/2 cup diced chicken, cooked

Vegetable Soup: Add 3/4 cup mixed vegetables, cooked

Broccoli Soup: Add 1 cup chopped broccoli, cooked

Asparagus Soup: Add 1 cup chopped asparagus, cooked

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Oh The Joys of Parenting Teens... or NOT! (rant of the day)

ok.. you know by now that I can be a little bit of a smart-alic.
I have been known to be a smart-mouth.
I have been known to be a little bit of a prankster.
Even a jokester every now and then.

It would only be natural for some of these qualities to rub off on some of the short people around here.

But someone needs to teach them the difference between funny and just mean!

As I told you about in my (Journey to Frugality post) I am trying really hard to spend way less.

I planned my whole weeks dinners & shopping to include some of the short peoples favorite foods and cheap meals. (this week I tried to feed us on $30)

tonight I made a HUGE pot of Baked Beans with hot dogs cut up in them & a green salad.

Well.... I always doctor the beans up good... brown sugar...molasses.... salsa... onions... etc...

I asked my 15 yr old son (worker #2) to go get me one of the jars of mild homemade salsa. he went out and got one, I dumped it into the pot and as I cooked it, I kept tasting it ... It was hot... it was VERY hot... almost too hot for me to taste! My lips were on fire.....

I looked at the jar.... the sticker was missing.... I always label the salsa.... I looked in the trash can and found the label.... "Dana's Bottled Hell". That's super-hot salsa that I make for the Man-of-My-Dreams and his friends.

I asked Son #2 about it.. and he did it on purpose. Thought it would be funny.

I can't serve it to the Little Foreman-in-Pink. I can't serve it to workers 3 & 4. Even worker #1 who loves all things hot wouldn't eat it because it was too hot!

The huge pot of food was ruined!

Now, I would have not gotten angry if it had been an accident.... Accidents happen. BUT when he tells you he did it on purpose and even went so far as to hide the label that he scratched off..... that's a little less innocent.

Worker #2 did eat some and of course, said it wasn't THAT hot.
I'm thinking that son #2 will be eating super-hot beans & hot dogs for every single meal (including breakfast) until they are gone.

Note to novice pranksters...... sometimes your prank will not go as planned.... ..... an "I'm sorry" will work wonders too. (no-one told worker #2 this fact)

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Goals for 2008 (My Journey Into Frugality)

This year I want to implement all the things I have been talking about and reading about for a long time, but haven't really put into practice too well yet.

The Man-of-My-Dreams has a wonderful job and makes good money.
He makes more now than he ever has.
The problem is, I end up spending almost all of it each pay period.

No, I don't buy frivolous things. (cept the occasional Starbucks drink)
But I do manage to spend almost everything he brings home every darn time!
We do not buy with credit cards, so we have that covered. (thank goodness! I know darn well I'd get myself into trouble with credit cards!)

This year I plan to be more thrifty.
I am going to try to make it almost like a game.....

How much can I save this month?
How much can I tuck away in the savings account this month?

I'm gonna chronicle my journey to frugality here so we can see how it goes and maybe you can help me see areas where I need to improve. (I'm sure there will be many!)

Here are some of my first goals.... (there will be tons more I'm sure!)

Cook even more from scratch & eliminate all processed foods. (this should not only help my bank account but hopefully our health as well!)

Grow more/ buy less seeds cost WAY less than produce from the store and the quality & taste is 100% times better! (My garden was a disgrace last year!)

Can Can Can!!!... I would LOVE to see my storage shelves full of home-grown veggies that I put up from the garden to feed us all year long! (I really need to get over my fear of the pressure canner!)

Cut those coupons! I know.... most coupons are for processed junk... But I'm sure there are lots I will use if I simply take the time to look.

Pay off stuff.... we make monthly payments on our TV & Computer. Why not double up on some payments and eliminate the interest and get rid of those bills sooner?

Try to limit shopping/trips to town to two times a week. I often find myself running into town almost every day. With a little forethought and planning 90% of those trips are unnecessary. The savings on gas alone will be big!

Always ALWAYS use a shopping list and do NOT impulse buy. Boy oh Boy am I a sucker for impulse items! I run into the store for 2 things and come out with 15! Yes, these are things we'll use and need.. but if I didn't see them in the store, I wouldn't need em, at least not right now.

Plan my family meals by the week and NOT by the day or "Mood". This will help me with that shopping list too!

Get 100% of the light bulbs in my home to those cute curly energy efficient ones. Most are already.. but there are still some suckers that aren't!

Stock -Up . Take advantage of great sales and bulk items that we will use later. Like now.... Black eye peas are crazy cheap after the New Years Holiday. I bought 5 pounds. Dry beans will keep forever if stored right. We'll eat em later and they won't be so cheap next month!

Turn stuff off!! It costs between 1-2 cents per hour to run your computer. By turning off my computer and printer at night I may be saving myself $60 per year!

Earn Your Keep!! I am getting rid of anything that lives here who wont earn their keep! Cows = beef & someday milk. Chickens = eggs/meat, Rabbits = meat, Turkeys = meat, Cats = rodent control for the barn/garden, Great Danes = $ from pups & Alarm system. Otis the killer Boston Terrier Puppy = entertainment & general cuteness. Young-Men-Folk = uh oh.... gotta think about them, they may have to go!

Insulate!! We have a very old house... that means drafty doors and windows.. I'm gonna weather strip anything and everything I can find!

Barter! This is something I'd LOVE to do! Trade goods & services with others. I already do this with one of my neighbors... I bring her homemade jams & jellies & Amish Peanut Butter, and she gives my wonderful homemade candles! There has to be more I can work out! we'll see.

None of these things by themselves is huge... None of these changes should be painful or difficult. I just need to stick to it! That's where my problem usually lies.... I have great ideas then never manage to stick with it. 2008 is the year I will STICK TO IT!!!


any other ideas? Please feel free to comment and give me some more thoughts!!

I'll post more as the days go on.

Join me on my Journey Into Frugality!!!!

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Drunken Chicken!! (Beer Can Chicken)

In an effort to make my butt smaller I am trying to eat a little bit healthier.

The problem I find when I am trying to be "careful" eating is I hate bland food!!

I LOVE butter!!
I love cheese!
I love rice & potatoes!!
But... **sigh** I am trying to cut down on the carbs....

One way to get maximum flavor with less or no added fat is to smoke or grill your meats.

Here is one of my favorite ways to cook chicken.

Enjoy!!!

Beer Can Chicken

You will need....

1 whole chicken
1 tall can o' beer (16 oz. tallboy is best but a 12 oz will work too!)
olive oil 4 cloves garlic crushed
salt and black pepper
your favorite beer (for marinating the chef AND the bird!)

seasoning for chicken (or just use a seasoning blend of your own favorites):

4 cloves garlic, crushed
fresh basil
a pinch of cayenne pepper
salt and pepper

Rub your seasoning blend all over the chicken.....

I also like to add a few slices of lemon or some crushed garlic under the skin... (I used to add butter **sigh**)

Just season your bird the way you like it.. you can't go wrong.

For grilling = Start with a hot grill (coals all white and ready to cook).

For smoking = get your smoker up to temperature (I like to start it out around 300 degrees then let it cook at 250 degrees till done.)

Open the can of beer. I like to also punch a few more holes in the top with a can opener to allow the steam to escape more evenly.

Drink or dump out about 1/4 of that can of beer. Drop a few cloves of garlic into the beer.

Oil up the can and lower that chicken over top of it. The beer can goes into the chicken's body cavity and allows the bird to stand upright. (see the above picture)

close your grill or smoker and cook the chicken until its wings are loose and the skin turns clear.

as the beer/garlic mixture heats up, it permeates the meat with flavor. it Tenderizes it... It basically yummy-fies it. I dare you NOT to LOVE this chicken!!

Grilling/Smoking times vary pretty dramatically—from 45 minutes to 2 hours, depending on the size of your bird and the heat of your coals. Use a meat thermometer to check for a breast (not touching the bone) temperature of 160°.

Dig into some of the most tender & flavorful chicken you have ever eaten!!

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A new year..... A few new resolutions.. (and some of the same old ones too!)

It's a new year!!
I woke up this morning after being an old fogey last-night and falling asleep by 9:30pm missing all of the ringing in of 2008 festivities... well, until everyone started firing off their fire crackers and Otis the Killer guard Boston Terrier puppy got scared. I decided it was time to write my New Years resolutions. (leave it to me... the Queen of Procrastination Land) to wait till the very last second.

Resolutions for 2008.

1.) Grow a better garden than my pigs garden!

2.) Learn more ways to use my sweet, growing, needy, homemade sourdough starter.

3.) Play with new combinations of fruit and make a lot more Homemade Prison Wine.

4.) Work on my quilting ... maybe make one that actually looks like a quilt and not just a bunch of connected squares.

5.) Hire an exorcist to deal with the ghosts on the homestead.

6.) In an attempt to make my Butt smaller... eat less of these and these too! and drink less of this!

7.) Keep better track of our finances and maybe, just maybe end this year with a little saved up.

8.) Make sure The Man-of-My-Dreams feels as cherished as he makes me feel.

9.) Try to have less to say at our monthly BMA (bad mothers anonymous meetings).

10.) Take more pictures.. and work on taking GOOD ones too.

I'm sure I'll think of more as the day wears on...
But I'm off to start cooking the traditional Black Eye Peas, Cabbage, and Pork to start off 2008 with a bang! (well... 5 men + cabbage + peas/beans. = more of a BOOM than a bang.... gas mask anyone?)

What are some of your resolutions?
Does your family have any new years traditions?

have a wonderful Year Y'all!!!! stay safe!

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