May 7, 2008

The Real reason I divorced Husband #1.

Well.. It's not the only reason.. but.... I would have been enough for most people!

B & I hadn't been married too long and were still in the "honeymoon phase" of our relationship when we went to a large family get-together/birthday party at his uncles house.

You have to understand how large and testosterone-filled his family is.
B is one of three brothers.
His father is one of three brothers.. etc etc etc...
All the men were there, all their spouses and children were there.
Grandmother G was there ...
lots and lots of people. (mostly men!)

We were all crammed into the small kitchen watching Uncle T blow out his birthday candles.
B was standing behind me.
I leaned over to grab my drink and sing Happy Birthday.
When I leaned back onto my husband I decided I was going to be a little bit naughty and reached behind me and gave him a little squeeze. (you know... down there... where only a wife is allowed to squeeze)
Wow Thanks!.. he whispered into my ear. But wait.... it was not my new husbands voice in my ear.
It was my new Father-in-Law!!
I guess B moved while I was leaning away from him and his father stepped in to watch the birthday boy.... He sure got more than he expected!
I almost died! He wasn't too upset by it. as a matter of fact, judging by the smile on his face, I think he got a kick out of it.
Of course everyone in the room saw/heard what I had done.

For the next 7 years of my life this unfortunate event was brought up at each and every family get together. I knew I would never be able to live down the fact that I felt up my father-in-law.

So.. I divorced him.
ok.. maybe there was more to it than that.... but this event is right on up there close to the top of the list of most embarrassing moments.
Pin It!

19 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Jenn said...

That was great hahaha ! I just got the baby to sleep and the laundry going and needed a laugh . My ex had three brothers and I hated them all and his parents thank goodness I never did that I never would have heard the end of it either. Have a good day , you just made mine !
Jenn

Holly said...

oh my heavens!

lemontartlet said...

That is... I just spit my Coke. That may be the best story I ever heard right there!

Mom @ Wide Open Wallet said...

OMG I would have died! How embarrassing. Thanks for sharing.

Julie said...

That was classic!! thanks for the laughs!!

dykewife said...

i *had* to read this out loud to bran. we were both greatly amused at your faux pas. one thing i'm glad of...bran is an only child :)

Trainwreck said...

I can't stop laughing!! I would've had my marriage anulled!! You were a brave women!! I can't even imagine!! Thanks for sharing, I have to go now before I p my pants!! I tried to read it to my (2nd WAY better than my 1st) husband! /

A Military Life said...

Good Lord I would die of emmbarasment!

Shannon said...

Bwahhh haaahaaa! This is so funny. Thanks for the laugh I needed it. But at the same time I am think you poor lady, how embarressing:)

Crystal said...

Yeah...I'm sorry to say that nearly the same thing happened to me. I was in line at the food table and I thought my boyfriend had come up next to me so I reached down with one hand and have a love tap/squeeze only to hear my boyfriend laughing a little farther back. I looked over to see his father standing there giving me a horrified look and nearly died. I was the topic of conversation for many Thanksgiving dinners after that. Maybe that was one of the reasons I wasn't sad when the breakup happened. Just thought I'd tell you that you aren't alone in the world.

Allison said...

Oh my! I nearly spit my coffee clear across the room. lol

I think I would have dug a hole and jumped right in.

You poor thing.

Anonymous said...

I love people who grap the bull...

Megan said...

Oh my goodness, I am sitting here embarassed for you! That's a hilarious story.

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

This is my first time here, but I have to admit that I'm glad I clicked your link to this post. It's hilarious! Although I do feel a little embarrassed for you too =)

Lesli Groves said...

I truly feel for you, especially because his family couldn't let you live it down. It is very unfortunate that some families enjoy humiliation, teasing and sarcasm more than building good relationships and having fun together. I hope you have found a better family to be a part of.

Candice said...

That sounds like something that would happen to me! LOL

Misty said...

omg... that is hillarious. its been forever since you posted this.. but darn what a good story!
-Misty

Anonymous said...

Probably not funny for you, but sure is funny to read! A similar thing happened to a coworker of mine. We were at a party and room was tight. Her husband squeezed behind her and decided it was a good time to get a breast rub in. She decided to return the favor and reached behind her and do a little grope herself. Unfortunately, her husband had moved on and a MD that we work with was in his place! Not only was he more embarrassed than her, we all, including his wife, found out about it teased him unmercifully.

Love Kpop said...

There are times when I find it difficult to make decisions, but still have to do. I know people always have emotions so that there is no justice. But I still hope.
http://www.facebookbaixargratis.com.br

Post a Comment

I LOVE Comments!
Comments make me dance a little jig.
And that makes my children run and hide in shame.

Never Miss a Post

Subscribe via e-mail!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...