Thanksgiving Aftermath.

Every year we host the BIG Thanksgiving Day meal at our house.
Well, to tell the truth, we host most holidays here,
We have the most people.
We have the most outdoor room.
And, I'm kinda a control freak so I like people to come here instead of going to someone else's house.
Not to mention I detest driving in to the city for "fun"... I like it out here.

The family loves coming out to the farm.
They love seeing all the animals grow.
The slower pace of things out here.
We always have a nice time.

I love to cook.
I love to prepare party stuff.
I love it all.
EXCEPT the aftermath!

My family came over today for the big Thanksgiving Day dinner.
We had great food!
We had great conversation.

Everyone left with their Tupperware containers full of left-overs.
This year, My mother and sister even took the boys with them for the week-end!
Whoo Hoo!!
The remainder of the week-end will just be spent with the Man-of-My-Dreams and our little Pink One.

And while I am excited about the thought of a week-end of
no fighting
no farting competitions
no loud music blaring
no things being bumped into and broken
etc etc etc...

I realize one major flaw in my plan.

Ummm Yeah...
Send all your helpers away BEFORE clean-up...
Really REALLY Smart!

Keep Reading »

Dumb Mom Moment #493

I have told you numerous times how I am trying to live more frugally.
I have been buying my kitchen staples in bulk.
This helps in many ways.
I can buy my staples when they are on sale and save money.
And I never find myself in the predicament of being out of something when I am in the middle of a recipe.
I have been pretty darn proud of myself.
I have large glass containers of flour, sugar, rice, pasta, beans, salt, and various spices lining my counter-tops.
I love the fact that the old jars I use make my kitchen kinda look like an old fashioned general store.
Today I realized a MAJOR flaw in my plan.
I was making the kids a pitcher of fruit punch.
They were thrilled to have a sugary sweet, brightly colored beverage to gulp.
I used ice cold water, measured the heaping cup of sugar and stirred it until it was all dissolved.

I filled up the Little-Foreman-in-Pink;s cup with the fake juice beverage.
She excitedly took a big swig...

"Eeeeeeeuuuuuwh!!" she yelled and made a terrible face.
"It's Yucky!!!"
Oh good grief! I was getting pretty agitated.... I was being a good mom and making them this totally unhealthy treat and she was gonna complain?!?!?

I told her to drink it and be quiet.
She tried it again.
and started to cry....

Bulk Storage Tip #13.
Always label your jars... even if you think you know whats in them....
Salt looks an awful lot like sugar when it's in a big glass jar!

oops!

Keep Reading »

The Tumor

Home from a fun a night of Trick-or-Treating with 7 children. The Man-of-My-Dreams and I checked the Halloween Booty. We carefully picked out all the goodies we wanted to eat suspicious candy to protect our little ones from potential harm as all good parents do.

The Man-of-My-Dreams and I fell into bed. He was exhausted from working out f town the past two weeks & I was exhausted from staying home with our 5 delightful young-folk all by myself the whole time. (seriously... fighting the urge to stick a fork into the eye of a attitude-filled 16 yr old boy & attempting to convince your 4 yr old daughter that she really needs to wear clothes, takes a LOT out of ya man!)

At some point during the night I rolled over to snuggle with the strange man who was in bed beside me, I felt something on his back. It was warm, like skin, lumpy, and almost slimy.

Oh My God! I thought to myself.
The Man-of-My-Dreams has some sort of cancerous tumor growing on his back!!! And I haven't seen his naked skin in weeks, so I couldn't catch it before it was too late!

My mind started racing as I laid there in the darkness...
How am I gonna tell the kids that their father is dying!?!?
How am I gonna tell the Man-of-My-Dreams that he is??
Is that life insurance policy big enough?
Am I a good enough wife to be able to change his feces-filled diaper without gagging in his last days?
Who is gonna cook rice-n-eggs on the week-ends?? (cause I don't do it right)
Who's gonna make sure the boys pick up all the tools?
Who is gonna kill the BIG spiders?
Who is gonna put the fear of God into the Pink One's boyfriends when she is older?
Who will dust the ceiling fans?

I needed to take a closer look at the growth on my beloveds back.
I grabbed my cell phone to let its green light illuminate the tumor.

It was dark, and lumpy, and kinda gooey looking....
I leaned in for a closer look.....
It kinda smelled like....
No.... It couldn't be.....

I gave it a little lick....

Partially-melted Hershey's Kisses are my favorite!
I rolled back over and slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

Keep Reading »

Dumb Mom Moment #5367

I was eating out today with the three youngest short people.
While they were in line to get ice cream, A man tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a business card.
With a wink, he said "If you plan a Christmas party, give me a call."
I read the card...
"Mr & Mrs Klause" available for parties and photo ops.

yep.. Santa actually came up to me and gave me his card! WOW!

When the kids came back to the table I showed them the card.

"He's fake mom" said worker #4. "Why would Santa be in Texas?"
I was quick on my feet, "If you lived in a place where it was frozen all year wouldn't you want to vacation somewhere hot? Where is hotter than Texas?

"Mexico is hotter than Texas, Mom."
"Yeah... well... Maybe he likes Mexican food.. Texas has the BEST Mexican food ya know!"
"Better Mexican food than M-E-X-I-C-O ??"

Perhaps I should have said he came for the Bar-B-Que.... Duh

Keep Reading »

Dumb Mom Moment #118

Super-Duper-Smart Worker #4 comes to me all excited because he finally figured out what he wanted to be when he grew up.

Him = "Mom... I am going to be an astronomer and work at NASA."

Me = "That's Great Honey! You can call me each morning and tell me if I need to take an umbrella with me!"

Astronomy = The study of space.
Meteorology = the study of the weather.

NOT the same thing.

Just when I think I'm the most dumbest I can be... I manage to top it! **sigh**

Keep Reading »

Dumb Mom Moment #287

The Man-of-My-Dreams and worker #2 were sitting in the living room watching TV, I walked in and asked them "Whatcha watching?"...
We are watching the "Olympic swimming Trials." they replied.

"Ohh I love this stuff! I didn't think it started for a few more months!?!
I sat down to watch the end of a race with them.....
I was a good fan.. I cheered em on... and admired their strength and grace.

When the scores were posted, I kinda got a little bit excited.
The top 10 were all from the USA!!

WOW We ROCK!! Whoo Hoooo! Go Team!!!!

I yelled and jumped right up out of my seat.

Then I noticed that no one else in the room was cheering...
They were all looking at me like I had suddenly grown a second head!

Um.... Yeah... the trials are made up of only Americans trying to win a spot on the USA Olympic team.
oops ...Duh...

My bad.....

Keep Reading »