Aug 17, 2008

To My Short People #2

To My Short People #1 --> HERE

Yes, I'm sure you didn't have it last. Actually, I'd be willing to bet that you have never used it in your whole entire life. So of course I know that you aren't the one who left it there. Mommy really doesn't have the time to dust it for prints or swab it for a DNA sample. So please pick it up. Why? Because I SAID SO!

I don't have a clue where your left flip-flop is. The last time I wore it I put it away.
I bet a robber came into the house while we were sleeping and stole your left flip-flop. I do believe I read about that pesky left flip-flop thief in the paper yesterday. We should indeed call the police and report this crime.... **rolling eyes**
Keep looking for it! It IS here somewhere! geesh!

Does it really matter who I am talking to on the phone? Who died and made you the phone-caller-need-to-knower of the universe? Believe me when I tell you that I have no desire to talk to your 12 year old friends who are calling for the 300th time to tell you what they did on their video game OR your 15 year old girlfriends who have to be the last to say "I love you" before you hang up the phone. When they call, I'll let you know... I promise.

You did it yesterday? Really? Would you like a cookie? Do I look like I care? Do it again today.. Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO!

Yes, I know he farted... Thank you for pointing it out to me... again.

It's a bug... not a T-Rex.. schmoosh it with your shoe and move on with your life.

Yes, I'm sure you like it. You ate it the last time I cooked it. The time before that you even asked for seconds... I even have photo evidence, see? here in this picture you are eating it on April 14th 2007 you were even smiling... so sit down, be quiet and eat!

You may be taller than me. You have 16 long years under your belt. Guess what? I still know more than you! Accept it, and life will be easier for the both of us. Thank you.

I Love You,
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9 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Anonymous said...

LOL it's so nice to know someone else understands! lol thanks!


queenoftheclick said...

LOL You captured motherhood!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I am counting the HOURS until mine are back in school and I can breathe again!

This is the perfect post!

Bethany said...

would you like me to show worker #1 because I'm sure you meant him in that last paragraph.

- your spoiled rotten, city girl, little sister

Dana said...

Hey, sounds like my house. No one can EVER find the toe nail clippers...ever!!! How old are children when they realize we DO know what we're talking about???

CA Dana

Anonymous said...

priceless! I know it all, no HE knows it all.
Mother of a 9 year old boy.

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

Oh my goodness, YES!

In my house, it's, "Have we eaten this before?"

GREAT post!

Petra said...

Haha, so funny and true!

countrygirl3031 said...

I love true, and mine are 19 and 17 and still do it!


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