Nov 7, 2008

To My Short People,

I would like to take a moment to issue a formal apology.

I am sorry you have been inconvenienced by the presence of your brothers and sister in YOUR world. It must suck to have to share all that air.

I'm sorry you were cursed with me as your mother instead of the "cool moms" of all of your friends...
You know.. the friends who have no chores.
can go wherever whenever they want without even telling their parents.
I hate to break it to ya, but if you believe those stories from your friends... you aren't very bright... Bless your heart.

I'm sorry I refuse to buy you those $300 pair of shoes. I can't even type my reason without laughing uncontrollably at the request!

I am sorry that I am not as impressed with your farts as you seem to be. Surely you have another talent to share with your dear old mom?

I'm sorry I make you pull your pants up. I know that you have a cute Butt... isn't that enough?

If you truly believe that I am sorry about any of these things, Then I'm sorry you have such a sarcastic mother.

I love you...
Mom



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12 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Willow said...

THANK YOU for the early-morning belly laugh! You ALMOST had to buy me a new monitor; I nearly splorted coffee all over the place! :-)

PS LOVE LOVE LOVE this look -- it mirrors your site and your posts incredibly well.

Anonymous said...

The other day I told my two year old granddaughter to pull her pants up. She did and looked at me and said, "show my butt". :) Margie

Jenn said...

Are you sure you didn't steal my kids? They sound suspiciously familiar.

On another note....I made your mexican lasagna for dinner last night (and froze one!). My family LOVED it...even the kid who absolutely refuses to eat beans of any size, shape, color or form had TWO big servings. This one's a keeper.

Dana (the Homesteading Housewife) said...

Willow.. thanks!! I am so pleased with the new site!! check out the button to Blog Candy to get one of your own! She is awesome and her prices cannot be beat!

Margie.... they start THAT young?? lol

Jenn...
I'm so glad you like the Mexican Lasagna.. It is one of our favorites!! and you froze one?? whoo hoo! I'm proud!

Milehimama said...

Maybe I'll share this with my children...

although they actually HAVE a friend (9 yo boy) who can do what he wants, when he wants, and doesn't have to ask his mom before taking off for parts unknown.

This has caused much weeping and gnashing of teeth around here, since I'm the meanest mom in the world.

Sue said...

Love it! I can relate totally. Also Sorry if I don't buy all the toys you want. That all your other friends seem to get on a daily basis.

jrmom said...

OMG, you crack me up! I no longer have to think of whitty, sarcastic things for my kids...I just let them read your blog. Thanks a bunch.

dykewife said...

except for the having to share with siblings and having to pull up pants, that sort of sounds like some of the exchanges boy and i have had over the years...

oh, was it a freudian slip that instead of "surely" you spelled it "surly" in the paragraphs about farts? :D

Tricia said...

LOL that's great! Did your short people get to read this post? ;)

Dana (the Homesteading Housewife) said...

dykewife-- "oh, was it a freudian slip that instead of "surely" you spelled it "surly" in the paragraphs about farts? :D"

Me -- Nope.. I'm just that bad of a speller and spell check didn't kick it out cause it was indeed spelled correctly... Just the wrong word! lol


Tricia, they always read em and laugh.... If only they knew how serious I really am! lol

Natural said...

LOL. Funny. this is worthy of cloning and photocopying. Thanks for the laugh.

lori said...

That's cute. Kids have it hard, don't they?

By the way, you've been tagged with an award. Come on by Confessions of a Baltimore Housewife to pick it up.

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