Dec 12, 2008

To My Short People,

I know it's cold outside.
But we live in Texas. Cold is relative.
You do not need to drive your truck to the end of the driveway to wait for the bus, just so I can walk out and get it later.
Put on your coat and deal with it, you won't die, I promise.

When I tell you to get busy and do your after-school chores, I mean go do your chores!
It is NOT the time give me a run-down on every chore that your brothers have not finished yet. I am fully aware of what has and has not been done, I do not need an assistant to keep score for me! If I do ever need an assistant it will NOT be you!

Green beans are NOT poisonous.

Do you think it would be possible to put half as much effort into your schoolwork as you do your burping contests? You could be on the honor roll if you tried this.

Your poop stinks too... so shut up!

Yes, I am a mean mom. Mean enough to turn you in at school when I find out you have been skipping gym class for more than 30 days. Your focus should not be on how unfair it is that I am mean, but maybe, just maybe on going to class!!! Something to think about while you sit in 10 days of in-school suspension huh?

Your friends are mad because I may have mentioned their names when the school asked me who you were skipping gym class with? Oh well... Guess I won't win that "Coolest Mom Of The Year Award" this year. however will I cope?

You don't think it's fair to be punished both at school and at home for the same crime?
Here's a thought....
How bout you do not commit the crime in the first place?!?!? Then ya don't have to worry about it at all.

You may not believe in Santa anymore, but make NO mistake!! There is indeed a "Naughty List". You might wanna work on staying off of it!

I love you.

Mom


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7 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

Preach it, sister! Kudos for standing tough.

kreations said...

Hahaha, Do you feel better getting that all off your chest, and can you come over and repeat it to my husband. A few of the word would have to be changed, but not many!

Tatersmama said...

Here I've been wanting to come play at your house.. But maybe I should invite you to my house, instead!
You've earned that "Coolest Mom" award whether your kids realize it or not...
I know that I would certainly give it to you !

Stacy's Random Thoughts said...

Great post! Love it! I'm having way too much fun reading through your blog - my hubby thinks I'm crazy as I sit here and giggle at my computer... ;)

Teresa R said...

heehee...at first I thought you were talking to real short people like me. Phew!

I might have to borrow your letter for my kids - LOL!

selcom60 said...

lol... I remember those days myself. My oldest child is expecting their 1st child any day now, a somewhat fitting revenge some would say. ;)

inadvertentfarmer said...

ROFL...ohhh the joys of motherhood! I once went into my oldest son's highschool and gave them my signature so they could compare it with all the notes he had been having people forge for him to get out of class and go across the street to video game with his best friend. Needless to say it only took one forged not after that for him to realize his game was over...that's it GAME'S OVER...mama won!
Just found your blog...very fun! Kim

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