Feb 15, 2009

A Bottle of Wine + Kitchen Torch + Lonely Pyromaniac on Valentines Day = ?

Yesterday was the Day of Love. Valentine's Day.
A day to spend time with your sweetheart.
Well... the Man-of-My-Dreams is still working out of state and I didn't get the chance to see him.

I still made a Beautiful Creme Brulee.
And I decided to crack open a bottle of homemade blueberry wine.

One of the best things about making Creme Brulee is the fact that you get to use FIRE!!
You may not know this, but I am a little bit of a pyromaniac.
I am known as the "Fire Lady" on our road.
There is almost always something burning somewhere on our property , and you can bet I'm the one who lit that fire!

Sure, fire is great...
But a kitchen torch?? Thats even better!!!
The instant major-hot flame! The power of the torch!
A kitchen torch is a good thing.

Now.... a pyromaniac with a bottle of homemade wine and a kitchen torch who is also a little bit upset because she is missing her man and is instead, home with 7 children on Valentine's Day??
Well, that takes it to a whole new level of stupidity.

To be safe, I explained to the children that we were trying a science experiment and learning a little bit about kitchen safety.

In other words.. I was showing them what NOT to do in the kitchen!
Lets see what happened!

Spaghetti Noodles + Fire = nothing too exciting.
It just burnt and curled up a little bit.

A Tablespoon of peanut butter + fire = a MUCH cooler thing!
It melted! And then, it actually caught on fire!!

And then I poured another glass of wine.

An egg + fire = a little egg explosion!
In less than 2 seconds, I had yolk on the refrigerator 8 feet away!
This one did NOT smell pleasant!

Sweet Potato + Fire = a new meaning to the dish called roasted sweet potatoes!
Nothing exciting about this one.
Kind of a bummer.

With a kitchen torch, you can make toast in 3 seconds flat.
Great for those mornings you are running late for work!

Who needs sun-dried tomatoes when you can have FIRE roasted tomatoes??

Got a sugar cube?
Want to melt it without having to use that pesky cup of hot tea?

Dog Biscuit Brulee?
Otis the killer Boston Terrier was not impressed either.

Now we are talking!!
Cute little Valentine's Day candy corn.
Meant to be shared with your sweetheart...
MY sweetheart was not here!!
Nope... I'm not bitter or anything!

Red Hot cinnamon candy?
I made 'em REAL HOT!
They melted into one hard block of cinnamon love.
This one smelled really yummy!

and kinda burnt our eyes. oops!

And the #1 bestest thing to torch on a lonely Valentine's Day when you are drinking a bottle of homemade wine and trying not to kill 7 kids???

Drum roll please...
Chocolate Valentine's Day candy!!
Caramel to e exact.
This sucker lit up like a bonfire!
I was pleased.

If you like stupid human tricks, don't worry....

Easter is around the corner..
I wonder what a Marshmallow Peep will do when it meets the torch??

I'm sure I'll have plenty more to share soon.

I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day!

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11 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Bethany said...

*sigh* I heart my pyromaniac sister.

- your spoiled rotten, "city girl", little sister

Hi ! I'm Cindy said...

ROFLMAO !!!!!! Dana, what a great Sunday morning laugh!! Did you have to open another bottle a wine?

Marcy said...

You are tooooo funny! I can't think of anything more fun to do. How was the wine, BTW? I LOVE blueberry wine! Did you make it yourself? Cheers!

Lauriebelle said...

LOL...good lord you crack me up!

Hey!...I want to hear more about this homemade wine!!??? Details woman! How to...and how was it!?

Tatersmama said...

TALK to you? Hell, I'm SCARED of you now!

(is this homemade wine, and can I buy my own torch???)

LMAO...No word of a lie - my word verification is frihag!!

Dana (the Homesteading Housewife) said...


I got my kitchen torch on Amazon.. just search "Kitchen torch" it was like 10 bucks! but any kitchen gadget store will sell em :)

Homemade wine 101 goes up tonight :)

Chickenista said...

You are just so dang on funny!!! My Hubby worked 16 hours on VDay, so I feel ya! Good thing I don't have a torch the way I was feeling *sniffle* LOL

Laura L. said...

This is pretty funny!
You know, my son went through this stage when he was about 14. It involved firecrackers, matches, blowing things up. He almost tried gasoline and firecrackers once.

Now I am NOT comparing you to a 14 year old. Really, I'm not. :)

I may just have to get a kitchen torch. There's a little pyro in all of us.

Marshmallow Peeps would probably not enjoy the torch. They hate the microwave. It's a family tradition here.

By the way, I did watch your episode of Wife Swap a while back. That was fun to see.

Mommy Bee said...

oh my, that's one of the funniest things I've read in a while! I think I'll be needing to link you now LOL!
(found you via entrecard, but you're a favorite now so i'll be back!)

Sab said...


That was too funny! i wanna see what happens to the peep too!

javieth said...

When I bought my house through costa rica homes for sale
I expected to have a big stove in the kitchen with a huge space, now I am really happy because I can cook every kind of recipe in my huge stove. I really love it.

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