Feb 23, 2009

Keep me away from sharp objects!

I am not a really frou-frou kinda girl.
You are more likely to catch me without makeup and my hair pulled up into a ponytail than you are to find my face and hair perfectly done.
When I go out to eat, You can bet that I will spill more food on my shirt than my 5 year old.
Yesterday solidified my awkward, dorky, unrefined status.

I managed to sprain my hand picking up a hammer.
Just picking it up!
Not whacking away on something hard with it.
Not pounding in several hundred nails into hard wood.
Nope... Just picking it up.

We went to pick up the Man-of-My-Dreams' new truck.
We had to sit and wait for what seemed like hours for them to inspect and detail the Macho-Truck.

You know those BRIGHT yellow cement posts that they put around buildings to dumb people won't run into the wall with their cars?
Those 4-foot-tall BRIGHT yellow posts?
Yeah, well... First I ran smack dab into one!
Head on! No, not in my car... But with my body!
Brilliant! I played it off and hoped than no one noticed as I limped inside.

Then, as we were standing in the office waiting for our shiny new keys,
I fell off of the side of my shoe and sprained my ankle.
I was wearing flat shoes!
I didn't have on hoochie-mamma 7-inch high heels.
I was wearing perfectly safe flat shoes!
I wasn't rushing down a flight of stairs.
I was standing in place on a flat, carpeted surface!

Yes, the Man-of-My-Dreams was home and with me to witness me in all of my sophisticated glory. I wonder why he wouldn't let me drive the new truck home...

More soon... if I don't kill myself first!

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12 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Bethany said...

It's good to know that I come by it naturally.

One year at camp, we had to use a motion to describe ourselves... Mine was falling. :o)

- your spoiled rotten, "city girl", little sister

Mary Moore said...

And I thought I was clumsy! You win the award!

Chickenista said...

Too funny, yes my motto is "Don't follow in my footsteps, I run into walls" But you girl, you... I don't even know what to say. LOL My sides are hurting from laughing. I hope your ok.

siteseer said...

rotfl too funny. I can just see it and yes I've done most of it... not the running into the big yellow post lol. too funny. Are you okay?

Anonymous said...

LOL. I have had days like this that lasted for months. LOL I am doing much better now.

Tatersmama said...

Go back to bed, and start again. It works for me every time. ;-)

But I can't believe you didn't have your Hoochie shoes on! Oh my... maybe that was the problem??

rebel said...

You're so funny. Why is it that when we're havin' a clutsey (is that how you spell it?) day, everything happens, nothin' goes gracefully.

dykewife said...

oh, many empathies and a cold compress!

Anonymous said...

snort! I'll bet you do these things just to amuse us, your faithful readers. ;D

Sab said...

You and I must share the same genetics somewhere down the road because I do the exact same thing... what's with those flat shoes anyway? I think they're conspiring!

And my Wii Fit says I'm balanced!

kreations said...

I can sympathize because I have moments like that weekly.
Your post made me laugh.

Trudy said...

Absolutely LOVE your writing! Edgy! Hope you'll check out my blog about marriage and renovation and sarcasm, of course!

Thanks and keep it up, girl!

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