Jun 23, 2010

The Cure!!!!! (re-do)

Having a medical background, I am not one to take other peoples' medical issues lightly.

Something that I may find merely an occasional annoyance may be someone's daily torture.

For example...
Seeing someone at the pool with a third nipple may cause some people to point and laugh.
Not me! I feel for the third-nipple-haver,
I wish I could help them,
I wish I could take away all the unwanted and un-kind stares from strangers.
I wish I could bring them peace.
I would want to be their friend.

What about those poor souls who are cursed with excessive ear wax production?
They endure years of "taters in yer ears" jokes.
Kids pick on them because excessive ear wax equals cooties to school-aged children.
I just wanna scoop them up in a warm hug, dry their tears and offer them a Q-Tip.

Some people may find the topic of constipation laugh-worthy.
I, for one, know it is no laughing matter!

As a matter of fact, I have found the cure for constipation!
Thats right!! I said CURE!

I have the cure for any case of constipation right here in my little old farm house.
The cure can be found in my kitchen!
I have observed its magical powers for almost 7 years.

I have decided to share this knowledge with everyone out in Internet-Land.

Come clean my kitchen!

You read it right.
Come clean my kitchen and even the most difficult clogs will quickly become... well... unclogged!

It never fails.
Every time I ask one of my young-men-folk to clean the kitchen, within 5 minutes they are in the restroom!
I'm not talking about a quick trip either!
They are in there for a loooong cleansing time!

Here is what I am offering...
We can work out a deal...
Bring me your clogged bowels...
I'll bring you speedy relief and get a clean kitchen to boot!

And don't worry...
I won't snicker or giggle...
I just might hug you!

Pin It!

5 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Anonymous said...

LOL that is SOOOOOOO true!!
Thanks for the laugh!

The Diet Coke I just spit all over my keyboard? Not so much,

Brandi said...

it sounds like dinnertime at my house. my oldest daughter sits down starving, sees what we're having and heads straight to the bathroom!

small farm girl said...

Our cure was mowing grass! Maybe it's the vibration of the lawnmower.

MamaTea said...

LOL! I've noticed a few of those "cures" around our house as well. Amazing...you should write a book! The medical community would be so thankful to have your expertise! ;)

dykewife said...

my brother used to do that. it really ticked me off because he invariably did it when it was his turn to wash the dishes (the preferred job, usually guarded jealously) leaving me to wait. finally my mom said that if he was longer than 10 minutes he had to do dishes by himself. after that he did dishes first. funny thing, there were no more eterna-trips to the bathroom again.

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