Tuesday night was a night like most other nights on our homestead.
I was cooking dinner.
The Man-of-My-Dreams was at Baseball practice w/ the Little-Foreman-in-Pink (7yrs old) and worker #4 (11yrs old).
I told him to call me when they were on their way home from the ballpark, it is just 3 miles from our home.
The phone rang at 7:22pm...
Him- "Come get us, we are upside down in the ditch"
Me- "Oh, ok... well when you are done playing, dinner is ready, Love you."
Him= "Come Get us" (muffled screams talking in the background) "C'mon baby... crawl out this window"...
Me- "You ARE kidding right??"
Him- "No, come get us"
then the line went dead...
My heart stopped.
I screamed for worker #1 to grab his keys and we raced to the accident scene.
This is what I saw as we pulled up...
Then slid into the deep ditch, it hit "just so" and started to flip end-over-end before coming to a rest on it's roof.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't think.
I couldn't talk.
All I could do was run.
I ran until I saw my husband standing on the side of the road.
I scooped up my sobbing 11yr old son and squeezed the poor guy so hard he couldn't breathe.
I frantically looked for my daughter...
Hubby had put her into another truck to keep her dry (it was raining) and safe from passing cars.
Once I had both of my babies in my arms and did a thorough inspection of hubby to make sure everyone was really ok, it began to sink in...
I just almost lost half of my family...
There is no reason that we should all be standing here virtually un-harmed...
All the windows on the passenger side of the truck are gone...
everything on that side of the truck is gone or crushed...
The drink that was sitting in the cup holder between my husband and son was embedded 6 inches into the dirt UNDER the cab of our now over-turned truck...
And yet, my family walked away...
There are no words to describe how thankful I am of that.
But, I have been shaken to my core.
I feel myself getting depressed.
The thoughts of what "Could have happened" are consuming too much of my time,
too much of my heart,
too much of my mind.
I feel so silly, I mean, I should be doing cartwheels and laughing uncontrollably with joy.
and yet... I almost feel like I am mourning.
My mom said it's because I know that dark place that could have happened Tuesday night all too well.
I have I have seen it... Lived it... with the death of my brothers.
I know that it "does happen".
This was just too close.
I have always had almost a "Waiting for the shoe to drop" feeling about my children.
I am one of 4 kids.
Only 2 of us made it to adulthood.
It was just my reality, kids die, it happens.
And if something happened to the Man-of-My-Dreams? ((shudder))
I have 5 beautiful, healthy children...
Based on my reality, the odds are against me... er them.
I know it sounds stupid.
I know I am blessed.
I know I am lucky.
But... It's always there.
It is a fear that will never go away.
And Tuesday night was TOO CLOSE!
How do I "Get Over It"?
How you you move past something that didn't even happen?!
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