Nov 17, 2007

In defense of 'some' ex-husbands.

Thursday I posted about it being the Man-Of-My-Dreams and My anniversary.
I drove to meet him for dinner (and to give him meds for his hurt-and-still-killing-him knee).
Well... guess who baby-sat all the kids while I went for a romantic dinner?
My ex-hubby.
Also Known as The Man-of-My-Dream's Husband-in-Law (MOMD's family loves to call him that!)

When B and I divorced, it wasn't pretty (but then how many divorces are really pretty?!?) We both did somethings and said somethings that were not necessary and frankly, not nice. We could have very easily come out of it hating each other. (there were times I plotted his slow painful death, and I'm sure he dreamt of my demise as well, but that's the nature of the beast I guess.. I mean.. if we got along great we wouldn't be going through a divorce now would we?)

We do have children together, so we did the 'adultley' (dontcha just love making up new words?)thing, and decided that it would be best for them if we were at least civil. (easier said than done at times!)

As time passed, it became easier for me to see him and not envision sticking a fork into his eye. And It got easier for him to come out here to see the kids and not throw up seeing the Man-of-My-Dreams stay here while he drove away.

It was also an adjustment for MOMD, he had to deal with the ex hubby coming around to see the kids and the occasional drama between us while we tried to find our way to co-existence & co-parenting.

After while they became friends! MOMD Goes to B's shop to work on his car. They have even gone to races together! (there were times I wondered what it would take for my new hubby to divorce my ex hubby!) But stepping back, we all saw that this was indeed working! Our kids were happier, and we were doing ok!

I often said , even while B and I were married, that we made better friends than partners, and I was right.

B is here for almost all parties, get-togethers, etc. MOMD's son often goes to B's house on the week-ends he has our boys.

People often look at our arrangement as strange. They can't understand how B & I can be friends and More than that, they can't understand how MOMD and B can hang out and be friends too. (don't get me wrong... He can still get me in a foaming-at-the-mouth fit of anger faster than just about anybody on earth, and I can make his head explode by touching the wrong raw nerve. But that's just the history rearing it's head briefly)
All I can say is, it works. and our children are better for it.
And he gets the occasional home-cooked meal & I get a cheap baby-sitter to boot!
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1 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Anonymous said...

Good for you! nice to see folks act like adults in a difficult time.

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