Nov 19, 2008

Question and a Plea to those who don't have children.

I know that there are lots of people out there who do not have kids.
Some of these people don't have kids because they chose not to.
Some of these people don't have kids because, for one reason or another, they cannot.

To those who can't have children, for whatever the reason but cannot, I'm sorry.
To those who don't have children because they chose not to, good for you for knowing what you want and making the right choice for you.

That being said...
I have one question for you.

Why do you feel the need to buy things for other peoples children that have- sirens, lights, whistles, no volume control, music, never-dying batteries, buzzers, roaring sounds, screeching tires, never-ending crying mechanical voice boxes, loud horns, clickity-clackity wheels, and just down-right annoying qualities?

I understand that our children may enjoy these hideous toys.
They love you for them.
We love you for loving our children.

But.... Are you aware of the fact that it is the presence of these obnoxious toys in our lives that makes parents all over the world turn prematurely gray?

They are the primary reason that hundreds if not thousands of mothers all over the world need BOTOX injections to hide the deep furrow lines in their foreheads!

I have a sneaking suspicion that these toys are a big part of the reason that there is so much alcohol and sedative abuse in this world.
How else do you people expect us to live with these awful loud toys in our lives?!?!

So, in an effort to restore the mental health for the people in this world who do indeed have children, I'm begging you...

The next time you are invited to little Billies 5th birthday party,
This Christmas when you are shopping for that perfect present for your niece Olive.
Or any other time you find yourself in the giving mood for someone else's child...

Please PLEASE buy them a nice quiet Book, or Teddy Bear!!
PLEASE!!!

This message has been a public service announcement brought to you by the
Mommy-Is-Hanging-By-A-Thread Foundation.


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18 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Windows Wide Open said...

Amen, I remember those days all too well!!

Now you have to confess what specific toy set you off this time?!? I'm curious!!

~~

Jennifer said...

Amen Sister~ Although you did forget the 1001 pieces Lincoln Logs that you step on in the middle of the night while getting up to pee, going to wake the kids up for school, found under the fridge when cleaning, all that jazz....

Jen
http://thoughtsfromthefrontporch.blogspot.com

Jenn said...

I will admit that when those kinds of toys make it into our home, they generally only make their obnoxious noises for about week. After that, they inexplicably meet some sort of horrific death.

And I also admit I've given obnoxious toys to my nephew...on purpose. Because I know it drives my sister crazy. Unfortunately, she often returns the favor for my own children.

Lidian said...

Oh, this brought it back! I agree totally. I remember my oldest, about 3 at the time, coming back from going out w/grandparents, with a talking Elmo which I had specifically named as a please-don't-buy. Because I knew it was going to drive me mad.

In the end we just took the battery pack out and all was cool, but still.

Dana said...

I've found a really easy remedy...you line the annoying toy up with the back wheels of your vehicle and "accidentally" run it over. Oops!!!
~CA Dana

looney said...

Occasionally I buy these things just to piss off the parents. And I am a parent myself, I know how annoying they are. I just find it to be funny as hell.

Linda S said...

oh, too funny! glad I found your blog. I had a mother that was so nasty to me, that I would buy her kids these toys all the time....or the toys with 300 tiny pieces. She eventually left me alone.

great blog!

Hannah Noel said...

HAHA

Kathryn said...

On the positive side of those noisy toys - I always know what my kids are doing when they are playing with them. I know there must be trouble when things are too quiet for very long!

susan in FL said...

YES!!! I ADMIT I AM ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING CHILDLESS PEOPLE WHO GIVE THOSE TOYS!!
Now in my defense I gave them to my niece and nephews to aggrevate my sisters, then my SIL said they were good toys because they kept the kids busy (she really needs to be appointed for saint hood, she even had a migrane at the time). And my husbands daughter thought they were great gifts for her kids too. Go figure.
So who did you annoy that they bought your kids those toys.

dykewife said...

i think they do it to teach us a lesson for having kids in the first place. it's their way of bragging about their ability to take off on a moment's notice wihtout having to prepare a diaper bag, get a sitter or otherwise take care of the trog.

either that or they're just sadists.

Tara @ Feels like home said...

This really makes me laugh. I have only one child (so I admit that I might have a different perspective than a person with a big family), but I love the noisy toys. I love them, and my daughter loves them.

My sister and my family don't have any idea how I can embrace these silly toys, as they have the same impression as everyone else. I think they're fun, though.

LadyCiani said...

My husband does not get along with his sister. But he does not punish the nephews. Oh No!

He goes out of his way to find noisy annoying toys that his nephews love. He's a very popular uncle.

Mrs. G said...

I am so guilty of this. If not for a stern warning and threat of bodily harm, I would have given my friend's son a super soaker. Let's just say I'm everyone's favorite aunt.

janie said...

i give them as pay back for when others have given my child noisy and annoying toys. some noisy toys i like such as the car keys and toy phones that make noise. ds had a toy remote that beeped. but the car noises, sirens, etc, stayed in the kids rooms or basements. momma did not need a toy induced migraine.

Janine said...

Haha. I feel your pain. I think all those noisy toys have done something to my brain, because as soon as my third child was old enough, I rushed out to buy him a keyboard. A KEYBOARD! And it never. ever. played a tune in key. I hate that toy. I want to flush that toy down the toilet. But of course it's my child's favourite. GAH!

Krissy said...

LOLOL .. That was hilarious. Totally feel ya on that one. Thankfully we're a relatively silent-toy home for the most part! HA! lol

Kristy said...

LOL! This post cracks me up...I used to be one of those people that bought all the loud toys for my friends with kids...now that I am a mommy...I hate those damned things!

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