Memories are Funny Things.

I find it funny, the things that I remember, and the things I forget.
It doesn't really make sense.

Yes, there are the little things.
Forgetting where I put my keys.
Forgetting that I scheduled a doctors appointment three weeks ago for this morning.
Forgetting to pick up a gallon of milk on my way home.
Forgetting to get something out of the freezer for dinner that night.
The little things.

But there are big things that , over time I have forgotten.
I don't remember the first time I drove a car.
I don't remember the first time I kissed a boy.
I don't remember the first time I flew in an airplane.
I don't remember the details of my first broken heart.
I don't remember what my father said to me the night he moved out of our house.
I don't remember the last words spoken to my father many years later.
I don't remember the name of my best friend in elementary school.

But there are many seemingly insignificant little details that are stuck in my mind as if it happened yesterday.

Things from 23 years ago today.

I remember my big brother, Dan, leaving for his nightly walk and saying. "I'll be back later" then popping his head back in the door and jokingly saying..."Or.. maybe I won't.".

I remember the exact words I used when I called my friend Tara, "I don't know if you pray or not, but if you do, please pray for Dan. He was just hit by a car."

I remember the blue maternity dress covered with little yellow & pink flowers that my youth pastors wife, Ms. Renee, wore when she came to stay with me at my house.

I remember that it was exactly 2:08am when my grandmother finally called with an update from the hospital.

I remember the cassette tape that was still in his Walkman and the exact words my mother said to me when I excitedly told her that it was not that broken because the radio still worked. She said... "But Honey, Dan is."

I remember the burgundy sweater that I was wearing when my mother and grandparents returned from the hospital to tell me that Dan was gone.

I remember the first casserole that Mrs. Kearney brought over... it was chicken and noodles with carrots that were too big and too mushy.

I remember the beautiful scent of the three perfect purple Hyacinths that my school sent to me when they heard the news.

I remember the overpowering cologne that the man from the funeral home wore.

I remember sitting in his room and realizing that it smelled like him.

I remember the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw my grandfather cry for the first time in my life.

I remember the laughter though the tears when we remembered that he was buried wearing his new watch, and that it would beep every day for the next 12 years at noon and may freak some unsuspecting cemetery maintenance man out.

I remember how blue his eyes were.

I remember thinking he was the strongest and smartest big brother in the world.

I remember his mischievous grin and the twinkle in his eye.

I remember our long walks, car rides, and conversations.


There are still BIG things I do NOT remember.

I can Not remember his voice.

I can not remember the last words spoken between us.

I can not remember the last comforting hug.

I can not remember the last "I love you."

I can not remember our last fight.

I can not remember the last cross words.

Isn't it funny? The things that "stick" and the things that don't?

23 years ago my life changed forever.

I am lucky that I was raised with such a great big brother.
But my heart aches every day because my children will never know what a wonderful man they would have had for an uncle.

It's just so strange how so many details of that time are crystal clear and how so many of them seem just out of my reach.

The mind is a very funny thing.

I remember...

Keep Reading »

Trauma in The School Pick-Up Line.

I have never pretended to be a perfect mother.
I'm nowhere close!

• There are nights when I forget to tell my young'ins to brush their teeth.
• There have been a few nights that I let them eat ice cream or cold cereal for dinner.
• There was that one time I left and went to the store, forgetting that one of the little ones was home sick from school and sleeping in bed.
• I let my 13 yr old watch rated R movies with me.
• When my 8 yr old told me he didn't feel good, I sent him to school telling him he was "just fine" only to have the school nurse call me 2 hours later and tell me that he had a temperature of 102.
• I do NOT volunteer to do the class parties.
• I am NOT a member of the PTA.
• And I let my kids ride the bus to school.
  

Yep, I am not one of those moms who willingly drives her 5 kids to 4 different schools.
I kiss them goodbye and send em out the door to wait for the big yellow school bus, quickly locking the door behind them just in case they try to come back in.

Yesterday was the first day in years that I went to pick one of them up from school at the end of the day.

I pulled into the parking lot 20 minutes before school was to end to wait in line.
There is one long sidewalk that runs in front of the school.
I was lucky because there was just enough room left for me to park at the end of the line of parents waiting to pick up their darlings.
I pulled into line.
I noticed that there were some other parents waiting in the parking lot in a line too.
I rolled down my window.
Turned on my music.

When I looked around I saw some lady, who I have never seen before in my life, waving at me.
I smiled and waved back, only then to notice that she was NOT waving... she was shooting me the bird! Yes... she was sitting there glaring and waving her bony middle finger at me!
I turned away in shock.
I figured that maybe she thought I was someone else.. and never looked back at her again.

I sat in my car for the next 15 minutes or so, waiting for worker #4 to emerge from the school building.
When the children finally came bounding out of the big front doors, I watched the teachers go from car to car getting the name of the student that they were waiting to pick up.
They would shout each child's name over a very LOUD bullhorn, and the kid would break from the pack and make a mad dash to their awaiting vehicle.

Then one very official and slightly perturbed looking woman came out of the front door.
She marched past the 13 cars in front of me in line and came directly to my passenger side door.
I rolled down the window, smiled and told her the name of my short person that I had been waiting for.

"Did you just cut in line in front of all these people?" she snapped

"Um, I don't think so, I just pulled in behind the last car in line and have been sitting here for 20 minutes." I responded.
I was taken aback with her tone, and suddenly felt like I was one of those little kids sitting on the front stoop of the school waiting for their parents. I was being scolded and questioned.

"THAT car in front of you is on the red line!!" She exclaimed.

"Ummm ok.. is that a bad thing?" I asked

"YES it's a bad thing! when the last car in that line is at the red line, you are Supposed to turn left and snake your way around the parking lot!! YOU just cut all of those people!! You are cutting in line!!!" she explained while waving her arms around so everyone knew she was yelling at me.

"I'm sorry, this is my first time picking my son up and I didn't know the rules." I explained.

"The first week of school you signed the student handbook didn't you??? When you signed it you stated that you read it and understood it's contents!!" she lectured.

"Yes I signed it. I guess I missed that part. I'm sorry."

"Well... Don't let it happen again!! All of the other parents in line are calling me in the office and complaining about you being a line cutter!!!". then she stomped off.

Ok... So let me get this straight...
I sat in the pick-up line for 20 minutes.
There were several other parents waiting in their cars too.
They wait there every day for their child and they had never seen my mud-covered Suburban before, they knew I was new.
If I was doing something that made them mad, Why didn't someone toot their horn, and holler... YOUR DOING IT WRONG!! or YOU ARE CUTTING!!
Instead.. they called the office and TOLD on me??
Parents, adults called and told on me!!

I didn't know if I should me angry or laugh at these people or feel sorry for them because this is such a big deal in their lives.

I certainly hope that worker #4 enjoyed the ride home, because his little butt will be on the bus for the rest of his life!!

***Stay tuned for tomorrows post... a Guest post from my Spoiled Rotten City Girl little sister, Bethany!***
She is living my life and watching my kids and the farm while I ran away to spend some adult alone time with the Man-of-My-Dreams this week-end... She may have some things to get off of her chest by the end of her time there.

Keep Reading »

I need your help. And I need you not to laugh!

It's been said that I am a little bit strange.
My boys Some have said I'm a dork.
I like to think I'm quirky.
Quirky sounds fun-loving and kinda cute. So yep, Quirky it is.

Anyway... I sing.
No, you don't understand... I sing a LOT.
I sing to wake up my darling young-folk. (this may be why they are so grumpy in the mornings)
I sing in the shower.
I sing in the car.
You just never know when or where I'll randomly break into song.

This would not be anything strange if I had a pleasant singing voice, But alas.. I was not blessed with good pipes.
The evil Worker #1 actually recorded me yesterday morning and told me that I should let you hear it and see if you agree with them that my singing to wake them up from their peaceful slumber could be considered child abuse. (the ungrateful little turd!)
You can here my cheerful waking up routine below. (If you dare)



That wasn't so bad now was it??
I, for one, would love to be wakened with such a melodious greeting!
ThankYouVeryMuch!

Anyway... the Little-Foreman-in-Pink has inherited my ability to turn any occasion into an opera.
She sings all the time! So, I have been trying to remember all of my childhood songs and teaching them to her.
I am at a loss...
I know that there are lots I have forgotten...

Here is our repertoire so far...

I'm A Little Teapot
The Farmer In The Dell
Mary Had A Little Lamb
On Top Of Spaghetti
Three Blind Mice
Only A Boy Named David
Jesus Loves Me
The Itsy Bitsy Spider
Hickory Dickory Dock
I love You, You Love Me
Old McDonald Had a Farm
B-I-N-G-O
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
the ABC song
10 Little Indians
Do Your Ears Hang Low
Baby Bumble Bee
Ive Been Workin On The Railroad
The Wheels On The Bus
This Old Man

What were some of your favorite childhood songs that I forgot?

Keep Reading »

I Live Here.

this explains so much!

Strange Texas Laws....

1. In Port Arthur - Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
2. In LeFors - It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
   
3. In Mesquite - It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
4. In Galveston - Any person who sits on a sidewalk may be fined up to $500.
5. In Clarendon - It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.
6. In Austin - Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
7. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
8. It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
9. It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
10. A recently passed anti-crime laws requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and explain to the nature of the crime about to be committed.
11. In Texarkana - Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.
12. In Temple - You can ride your horse in the saloon.
13. In San Antonio - It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
14. In Houston - It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
15. In Borger - It is against the law to throw confetti.
16. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
17. It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
18. In Beaumont - Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.
19. In Galveston - No person shall throw trash from an airplane.
20. In Richardson - It is now illegal to place a “for sale” sign on a car if it visible from the street.
    

Keep Reading »

OK Fine!

I was NOT going to post my New Years Resolutions here.
Everybody posts their resolutions on their blogs.
I was thinkin that you would be sick of reading other peoples resolutions by now.

But.. I have gotten no less than 13 e-mails from you asking me to post my resolutions.
I aim to please.
So, here goes...

Dana's 2009 Resolutions.

• Continue to lose weight. (I say continue, because I started a little early this year. I've been able to lose 9 & 1/2 lbs since 12/11/2008! Off to a good start!)

• De-Clutter this over-stuffed under-sized house!

• Get back to church more regularly.

• Save more, Spend less
  

• Laugh more
• Yell less
• Hug more
• Take more time to sit back and enjoy the ride, no matter how bumpy it may be.

• Work on being more accepting of myself.

• Grow more
• Put up more
• Waste less

• Figure out how to monetize BadMothersAnonymous.com (I'm loving doing this.. why can't it help pay some of these bills?)
  

There! Happy now?
What are some of your resolutions for 2009?

Keep Reading »

Big Day Today!!

I just had an interesting morning!

I was lucky enough to have a guest spot on the Classy Closet radio show!
Have a listen by clicking --> HERE
tell me whatcha think!
The sound is kind of jumbled in the beginning, But don't worry.. it gets better!
Oh and hey! those in the Chicago area...
Who is this "Radio Dan"? got a link for me?

And I published my first article on E-How!
You can read it by clicking --> HERE
It's about my easy caramel recipe.
More to come!

Have any ideas on How-To articles you'd like to see?
Tell me and I'll see what I can do!

Keep Reading »

Is it hereditary?

I am so lucky to have the Man-of-My-Dreams.
Today was the day that we finally had the time to fix the back wall in our laundry room.
Hurricane Ike decided to really blow that wall around and knock it off of its foundation.
The kids were amused each time they shut the door and the back wall would swing in and out like a doggy door, but we were not.

As I have whined, complained, & bitched about, explained many times, the Man-of-My-Dreams is working out of state and is only able to come home one or two week-ends a month.
This has made it really hard to finish a lot of the projects that need done around the farm.
The Boys and I can do most things, but we need Daddy for the big stuff.
Removing the broken wall and building a new one was one of those times.

All of the boys are away from home visiting various family members, so it was just The Little-Foreman-in-Pink, The Man-of-My-Dreams and I.
This meant that, much to my dismay, I was his helper on this job.
And by helper, I mean I got to sit in the chair and ask a million questions between running and getting some tool he needed and helping hold a board here and there, while he sweated, worked and occasionally cursed at the wall.

One thing that I have noticed about this man, is a strange and cute little habit he has of talking to himself. He was working hard, and I thought he was talking to me, telling me what he was doing and if this or that was right. Nope... turns out he was just catting away happily to himself!

"There! thats good-n-tight."
"Nope.. that won't do."
"Where did I put that hammer?"
"That looks pretty damn good!"
"I can build a wall!"

Each time I would answer him....

"Thats great honey! You can do anything!"
"Oh well, better luck next time."
"You put the hammer on the ladder."
"It IS a mighty fine wall!"

He would look at me confused like I just interrupted some deep thought.
He didn't even know I was there!
So, of course, I tried to sneak back into the house.
And, of course, it was at that exact moment he needed the hack-saw from the tool shed.
This went on for most of the day.
He was working and chatting to himself, and I was watching and assisting as needed.

Then I walked over to my beautiful koi pond.
This is where I usually find the Little-Foreman-in-Pink "fishing" (bobber but no hook), she didn't know I was standing there watching her.
She was chatting away to herself..

"I'm gonna catch a reallly big fish!"
"Oh I threw that one far!"
"Where should I sit down?"
"I think I will eat my fish for dinner."
"I wanna eat the orange fish.. I like oranges."

I wonder where she gets it from?

Keep Reading »

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!
I hope you have a wonderful holiday filled with good food, good friends, family and fun.

We celebrated our Christmas yesterday morning,
Family came over and we had a great time.
Kids were thrilled!! This year was the first year that the Little-Foreman-in-Pink really "got it" and was super-excited.
It was so much fun to watch!
Santa and family were very nice to me this year!!
Here is a run-down of the goods.

The super-duper romantic
Man-of-My-Dreams
got me the perfect gift!
A brand spankin new
Remington Automatic shotgun!
Yeah.. I may just be a little bit redneck!

My mother got me this Humong-o sized blender.
This thing holds 80 ounces!!
Oooh the margaritas this baby will churn out!
Or healthy fresh fruit smoothies to if thats your kinda thing.

A major point of contention between the Man-of-My-Dreams and I is his alarm clock.
I hate it with a passion!
Not only because it wakes me up at 4am in the morning,
But it does it rudely!!
BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEP!
Who wants to wake up with that terrible sound at such an un-godly hour??
Not me!
So now I have an I-home alarm clock radio thingie, I can wake up to my favorite songs!

Santa brought the young-men-folk this game for the Wii.
Guitar Hero.
They love it and love the fact that they can beat the tar out of their parents even more!
So this Christmas day while they are gone, what do you think the Man-of-My-Dreams and I are doing?
Snuggling on the couch sipping cocoa?
Nope...
We are playing Guitar Hero..
We will TAKE THEM DOWN!!!

And the surprise hit of the day?
This....

Yes... that is an egg without it's shell sticking out of the rubber-chicken-butt!

Now... you have to understand. When I was a little girl all I asked for on my birthday and several Christmases was a rubber chicken.

Yes, I know... I was strange even as a child.
But I wanted a rubber chicken soooo badly!
I finally got one and was the happiest little girl in the world!

Well, my dear mother remembered her favorite daughter and her love of the rubber chicken.
Who knew they made them so gross now?!?!
My biggest problem now is trying to keep it away from the children who are constantly trying to rubber chicken-nap it!

Soooo, what'd YOU get for Christmas??

**Update*** My rubber chicken did NOT come with a warranty!

I guess there was a limit on the number of times you can squeeze the life (and egg) out of it.
Oh.. and keep in mind.. your 5 yr old daughter will NOT be amused when her dear Mommy squirts her in the eye with liquid bulging out of a rubber chickens butt!

oops!

Keep Reading »

Stuffed

I love to cook.
I love to eat.
Over the past several weeks, I have posted lots of my favorite recipes.
I noticed something interesting...
I love to cook stuffed things.
Thus I love to eat stuffed things.

Bacon Wrapped Chicken Breasts
Stuffed with Spinach & Feta.
(click on any of the pics for the recipe)

Pretty Stuffed Meatloaf

It really IS pretty!

Forgotten Kiss Cookies

Chocolate Covered Cherry Cookies

Stuffed Zucchini

Yep.. I love to stuff myself with stuffed stuff.
Maybe this is why I have to work so hard to stuff my "stuff" into my jeans?
hmmmm something to ponder while I stuff another piece of stuffed french toast into my mouth this morning.

Wow!
I may be a great cook..
But I'm kinda a sucky unstuffer.

Keep Reading »

Dear Santa,

I have been a really good girl this year.
I may have not been that successful in the mom department.

There was that time I left to go to the store and forgot that worker #4 was home sick in bed asleep. But I remembered before I made it all the way to town!

And the time I accidentally mistook the frozen doggie treats with the beef jerky and Worker #1 ate the whole bag for lunch at school.

Worker #2 is still upset at me for turning him and his friends in at school for skipping gym class.

Making that hot chocolate with salt instead of sugar didn't go over too well on that first really cold day of the season.

Forgetting those darn Christmas cookies for the class party didn't thrill worker #4.

The Little-Foreman-in-Pink is still mad at me for letting her eat that piece of bakers chocolate and laughing hysterically when she almost threw up from the bitterness.

Forgetting worker #3's award ceremony isn't really THAT big of a deal is it?? I mean come on! there will be many more in the next few years!

I was a great wife this year though!!

well... except that time I didn't notice the crayons in the dryer before I washed the Man-of-My-Dreams work cover-alls... Tie-die clothing is making a comeback!

Oh, and the batch of cookies I made just for him full of wonderful walnuts. Even though I know he hates nuts.

And I never have quite gotten around to cleaning out that closet like I have promised him I would do for the past 8 months. I've been busy!

Oh and that air compressor that I gave away thinking it didn't work anymore, yeah... the one that he needed to air up his tires before he could go anywhere? that one. oops!


Oh Shoot....
I'll try harder next year.
I kinda like coal!

Keep Reading »

Gone to the Game!

Thats what countless signs on the front doors of houses and businesses alike in our tiny town will say today.
One of the things about living in a tiny town is the community pride that they seem to have.
The parades and celebrations throughout the year are wonderful!

We'll throw a parade at the drop of a hat!
Little towns love parades.
Pick-up trucks and tractors hauling trailers that are decorated with brightly colored paper streamers and balloons.
Hay bales are makeshift seats for the Boy Scout Troop, Homecoming Court, Rodeo Kings and Queens, and even Santa Clause.
The high school marching band leads the way and the Volunteer fire truck brings up the rear with its loud siren blaring.
School lets out for the parades.
The opening ceremony/parade for the FFA (future farmers of America) rodeo is a school holiday in this little town!

Today is one of those days when community spirit is so strong you can smell it in the air.
Our High School football team is playing in the state finals!

If you don't live in Texas, you may not understand...
You see, in Texas, High School Football is a HUGE thing!
It's bigger than the NFL.
It's bigger than Baseball.
The world revolves around Friday night football games in a small Texas town!

The Championship game is being played 4 hours away from here.
I truly think the Little-Foreman-in-Pink and I will just about be the only people left here during the game.

This is the farthest we have ever gone in football.
It would be great if we actually brought home the State Championship trophy!
Our little town has had a rough couple of years.
We are still recovering from Hurricane Ike...
This would be great!!

The Feed store will be closed.
The drug store will be closed.
The diner will be closed.
The mom & pop grocery store will be closed.
The streets will be empty.
All will be quiet.

Cause everybody will be...
"Gone To The Game!!"

ooooooh I can only imagine the parade we'll have if we win!

Go Broncos!!!!!

Keep Reading »

a Missunderstood Christmas.

The Little-Foreman-in-Pink is now five years old.
This means that she is the fun age for Christmas.
She is all about Christmas!
Although, she is a tad confused about the whole Christmas / Santa/ Baby Jesus thing.

• If someone walked by her wearing a dress, it's because they are dressed like Christmas
• If a red car drives by it's red because it's a Christmas car.
• A blinking traffic light? yep! It's a Christmas light.
• ANY pine tree is a Christmas tree.
• Any time a car drives down the driveway, it's Santa.
• Santa is coming for dinner.
• Today is Christmas.
• Tomorrow is Christmas.
• Everyday is Christmas!

When I told her that Christmas was to have a birthday party for Baby Jesus, she got all excited because in her mind, this means the baby is coming out of my tummy for Christmas. And yep, his name will be Jesus.
This is very exciting for her, because she really REALLY wants a baby!
There are several problems with this.

1. I am NOT pregnant! (just fat)
2. I will NOT be pregnant anytime in the future. I'm done, finished, the factory is closed, boarded up, condemned, and will be demolished just to be certain that it remains permanently OUT OF SERVICE!.
3. I am not sure how to explain the whole birth of our savior to a 5 year old so she understand that Jesus is more than just another cute cuddly baby.

She doesn't really understand the whole Sana thing either.
This was our conversation about Sana that took place yesterday.


Her = "Mommy, we have to go to the store to see Santa today."
Me = "Ok? What are you gonna do when you see Santa?"
Her = "You have to drive the car to the store, I will get out of your car and get in Santa's car. You have to STAY in YOUR car Mommy! You can't get out. Only me can get in the car with Santa. Then you can go home."

Ummmm yeah... I really hope that no one with a white beard ever tries to abduct this socially sheltered little girl... Cause she'd go in a heartbeat! Not good.

I helped her write her Christmas letter to Santa. She is a sweet girl and decided to tell Santa what everyone in the house wants.

Her

• Rainbow rubber boots
• rainbow guitar
• rainbow unicorn
• sparkly dress
• a rainbow costume
  
• rainbow fishing pole
• a real baby
  

Her Brothers

• Bro #1 = a rainbow game
• Bro #2 = a rainbow guitar
• Bro #3 = a rainbow sweater
• Bro #4 = a rainbow sweater

Mommy

• Rainbow earrings

Daddy

• Rainbow cowboy boots

Things to do today.

1. Try to explain the nativity story so a 5 year old will understand.
2. Try to explain the Santa story so a 5 year old will understand.
3. Try to explain the Do Not Go in Cars With Strangers rule so a 5 year old will understand but not be scared.
4. Try to explain the No More Babies in Mommy's tummy thing, so a 5 year old will understand.
5. Try to explain that while rainbows are indeed pretty, not everyone in the world wants them for Christmas.. especially her teenage brothers!
6. Open a box of wine and chug it cause its gonna be a looong week!

Happy Holidays!

Keep Reading »

Men who give me goosebumps

Yes of course the Man-of-My-Dreams gives me goosebumps, but this time I am talking about the men in the video below.

Not for the usual goosebumps-getting-way, But it's their singing. They are a wonderful a-cappella group who call them selves "Straight No Chaser". I have always loved a-cappella music.. goosebumps baby.. goosebumps.

Here is my favorite Christmas medley that they perform.
Enjoy! And I dare you not to giggle a little bit!




And did you think I could show you a YouTube video without slipping in my favorite of all time??
Not a chance!
My hero Mom.
Listen and welcome to my life!

Keep Reading »

Waiting for the pigs to fly!

I moved from North Carolina to Texas in 1986.
That means I have been here 22 years.
In those 22 years I have not seen snow.
It hasn't really felt like Christmas for over 22 years!
This means my children have never.. EVER seen snow
(except for tiny flurries that never stuck)
It doesn't snow in this part of Texas.

Last night, that all changed.
Worker #1 and the Little-Foreman-in-Pink went outside and saw this!
"Don't get too excited y'all... It won't stick." I said.
Uh-huh.... yeah.
The Pink One's 4-wheeler was stuck.
The plants were beautiful!
The beauty of the snow covered trees almost made me cry.
A fresh layer of snow even makes an ugly old fence look nice!
My fountain looked like a work of art.
**sigh** I miss this at Christmas-time.
I am so glad my kids got to play in snow.
They were outside until after 11pm having snowball fights, making snow angels, and squealing with delight. It was so much fun to watch!

Keep Reading »

Pro's & Con's of a large family.

There are many wonderful things about having a large family.

You are never lonely.
There are more hands to spread the work when something needs done.
There is always someone who has your back.
There is always someone around to entertain you.
Hand me downs rock when you have older brothers with style!
The laughter in the house is magnified.
Built-in babysitters.
There is always someone around to drive you somewhere you need to go.
etc etc etc...

There are some drawbacks as well....

I get light-headed when I clime to the top of Mt Laundry... the oxygen is thinner at that high of an elevation.
I haven't gone to the bathroom by myself in years!
When someone gets sick.... we all get sick! And it takes weeks to finish making the rounds!

I swear it has been three weeks and the first winter "funk" is still working it's way through our house!
I would be a very rich woman if I would have had the forethought to buy stock in NyQuil!
The sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can rest medicine is flowing like water round the farm!
fun fun fun

Keep Reading »

Thanksgiving Aftermath.

Every year we host the BIG Thanksgiving Day meal at our house.
Well, to tell the truth, we host most holidays here,
We have the most people.
We have the most outdoor room.
And, I'm kinda a control freak so I like people to come here instead of going to someone else's house.
Not to mention I detest driving in to the city for "fun"... I like it out here.

The family loves coming out to the farm.
They love seeing all the animals grow.
The slower pace of things out here.
We always have a nice time.

I love to cook.
I love to prepare party stuff.
I love it all.
EXCEPT the aftermath!

My family came over today for the big Thanksgiving Day dinner.
We had great food!
We had great conversation.

Everyone left with their Tupperware containers full of left-overs.
This year, My mother and sister even took the boys with them for the week-end!
Whoo Hoo!!
The remainder of the week-end will just be spent with the Man-of-My-Dreams and our little Pink One.

And while I am excited about the thought of a week-end of
no fighting
no farting competitions
no loud music blaring
no things being bumped into and broken
etc etc etc...

I realize one major flaw in my plan.

Ummm Yeah...
Send all your helpers away BEFORE clean-up...
Really REALLY Smart!

Keep Reading »

What I do when I don't know what to write about.

I have no idea what to write about today.
Thats kind of funny because usually, I can never shut up!
I tell stories from my life on this lil ol' blog-o-mine, as if it's even remotely interesting to other people out there in internet-land.
I mean really! The world wide web is HUGE!! and you take the time to come and read MY blog?? WOW!!

Each day I am shocked that you actually come and read my dribble!
I feel loved!
And to tell you the truth.... I kinda feel guilty.
Like any minute your gonna figure out what a huge DORK I really am and wonder why on Earth your wasting your precious time reading my blog.

So... What do I write about when I have no idea what to say?

Today.... It's Little trivia facts about me.
oooh exciting huh? Oh well... here we go.

#1.) I spend way too much time looking at www.FoodGawker.com & www.TasteSpotting.com. It's food porn man!! I can't stop looking! My goal is to grace the pages of these sites with my recipes as often as possible!

#2.) I can't spell... I swear my SpellCheck program is going to go on strike someday soon because it's so overworked, then you'll know how stupid I really am.

#3.) I am barefoot 97% of the time. I keep a pair of shoes in my car so I can slip em on if I need to run in somewhere.... other than that, I am usually barefoot.

#4.) Strong, thick wrists make me go weak in the knees.

#5.) Hearing someone chew Ice, or hearing them chew anything drives me insane! I have considered sticking a fork in my sisters eye on more than one occasion! (But I can chew Ice all day long and it is fine)

#6.) My first job was scooping Ice Cream at Baskin Robbins. I actually had to wear a cast on my hand for 6 weeks due to ripping ligaments trying to scoop the super-hard French Vanilla ice cream!

#7.) If I could go back in time and choose any career, I would want to work in forensic medicine. I'd also LOVE to work with the criminally insane, I would just love to "get into" their heads and try to figure out what makes them tick. I used to work in a psychiatric Hospital. I didn't enjoy working with the depressed, or addicts, or borderlines, I LOVED to work with the paranoid schizophrenia patients.

#8.) I am secretly in love with John Cusack & Alton Brown.

#9.) I men the Man-of-My-Dreams while playing Backgammon online. (I told you I was a dork!)

#10.) My goal is to figure out a way to do liposuction at home, I think it will involve a fellet knife and a shop-vac. I'm working on it, and will let ya know when I get the kinks worked out.

Keep Reading »

Question and a Plea to those who don't have children.

I know that there are lots of people out there who do not have kids.
Some of these people don't have kids because they chose not to.
Some of these people don't have kids because, for one reason or another, they cannot.

To those who can't have children, for whatever the reason but cannot, I'm sorry.
To those who don't have children because they chose not to, good for you for knowing what you want and making the right choice for you.

That being said...
I have one question for you.

Why do you feel the need to buy things for other peoples children that have- sirens, lights, whistles, no volume control, music, never-dying batteries, buzzers, roaring sounds, screeching tires, never-ending crying mechanical voice boxes, loud horns, clickity-clackity wheels, and just down-right annoying qualities?

I understand that our children may enjoy these hideous toys.
They love you for them.
We love you for loving our children.

But.... Are you aware of the fact that it is the presence of these obnoxious toys in our lives that makes parents all over the world turn prematurely gray?

They are the primary reason that hundreds if not thousands of mothers all over the world need BOTOX injections to hide the deep furrow lines in their foreheads!

I have a sneaking suspicion that these toys are a big part of the reason that there is so much alcohol and sedative abuse in this world.
How else do you people expect us to live with these awful loud toys in our lives?!?!

So, in an effort to restore the mental health for the people in this world who do indeed have children, I'm begging you...

The next time you are invited to little Billies 5th birthday party,
This Christmas when you are shopping for that perfect present for your niece Olive.
Or any other time you find yourself in the giving mood for someone else's child...

Please PLEASE buy them a nice quiet Book, or Teddy Bear!!
PLEASE!!!

This message has been a public service announcement brought to you by the
Mommy-Is-Hanging-By-A-Thread Foundation.

Keep Reading »

If I Was Going To the Electric Chair Tomorrow....

This would be the request for my last meal!

Last night the Man-of-My-Dreams and I went out for our anniversary.
we went to "Pappas Seafood House", our favorite seafood restaurant.
Once a year I get to order their Stuffed Salmon.
(this picture is of my Left-Overs, it was THAT big!)

It is the PERFECT meal in my opinion.

Perfectly cooked succulent salmon.
Stuffed with an absolutely divine seafood stuffing.
Topped with sweet, tender jumbo lump crab meat & BIG ol' shrimp.

I have tried to duplicate this dish at home...
but I just don't get it.. how do they take a HUGE slab-o-salmon that is thin on one side and really thick on the other end, and cook it perfectly on both ends??
I do it and the thin side is overcooked when the thick side is perfect.
Or the thick side is raw then the thin end is perfect!
This is one of the questions that keeps me awake at night!

Papa's Seafood House Stuffed Salmon
Served with grilled asparagus & a Greek salad and of course a hunk of cheesecake is my perfect last meal!

What would you request as your last meal before you met Old Sparky?
Leave your meal request in the comment section and we can all drool over them and die happy!
Or... live with really happy tummies!

Keep Reading »

Bitches Brew.

I was reading another site that I love, Mom Spark, this morning,
And she was talking about things she can't live without.
Her Must Have for today was her travel coffee mug.
She had pictures of beautiful custom travel mugs and said that she got them on Etsy,

Thus my search began.
I scoured pages and pages of custom travel mugs on Etsy.
But I didn't find one that spoke to me.

So... This gave me a reason to drive 45miles to the nearest Starbucks to get myself a new mug.
(and a Gingersnap Latte YUM!)
They sell mugs that you can customize.

I got home...
and 20 minutes later I had THIS!

Just in case ya can't read it....

It's perfect for me!
The background matches my lil ole blog background.
and with my name on it, I dare someone to run off with it!

The Bitch part? Well... that speaks for itself!

Whatcha think?

Keep Reading »