I know this is gonna sound like a drunk-when-you-pushed-publish kind of post, but it really isn't!
I was listening to some old music tonight when I realized that my life should be a opera.
So many songs could tell my stories better than I ever could.
So tonight, I'm bringing you the soundtrack to my love life.
Sing along, won't you?
Or feel free to leave and forget you ever saw this strange entry,
Push play and read....
My first "real" love was Fred.
Fred loved to fish.
We would spend hours and hours out fishing - in the dark.
We would talk & fish, and fish & talk.
He was not the kind of guy that any of my friends thought I'd fall for...
So, of course, I fell. HARD.
He came to me, while we were planning our life together, and explained that he hadn't exactly "completely" broken up with his other girlfriend!
She was a "great girl" but he didn't love her...
He said he didn't know how to end it without hurting her.
Well... I made that kind of easy for him.
I broke it off.
He showed up on my doorstep singing this song, tears in his eyes, and I was a goner.
For a little while.
I eventually ended it for good. (2 weeks before our planned wedding)
The next time he came around, begging for forgiveness, I was ready with a new answer...
I was heartbroken, but knew I couldn't go back.
I moved to a new town.
I got a new job.
I made new friends.
I was working in a country-western club and was shocked when another old flame walked through the doors.
Todd... wow... Todd! Todd was a tall stud of a man who all the girls wanted to be with.
For a brief time years earlier, I was the girl on his bulging bicep.
I loved going out with Todd.
It was wonderful being "That Girl".
You know her, the girl that every other girl in the room wants to be, because she has the world's most wonderful guy.
The guy who seems perfect.
The guy all the girls swoon over.
The guy who other guys hate because their girls drool over him.
Yep! I was with THAT guy again!
Then I remembered why it didn't work out the first time...
After the rude awaking with Todd, I was feeling pretty darn low.
I began to wonder if I'd ever find my Mr. Right.
I was a new single mom.
I had a beautiful son whom I adored, but who also was a daily reminder of Fred.
My heart had not healed.
I decided that I didn't need the fire,
I didn't need the passion,
I didn't need the sparks,
I needed stability.
I needed a good father figure for my beautiful boy.
I married B.
He was a good man.
I needed more.
I realized I was worthy of being happy.
I DID deserve to feel love.
I did deserve the passion.
I DID deserve to feel cherished.
After 7 years of begging, pleading & trying,
I was done.
Of course, this was about the time B realized all my threats and my begging was serious.
But it was too late.
He was crushed, but he simply waited too long to try.
Neither of us could bring back what had been long gone.
I decided that I was NOT going to look for love.
I began to accept the fact that I just wasn't going to be one of those lucky ones who lives Happily Ever After.
I had my boys; that should be enough right?
I started my own business.
I was gonna figure out a way to make it on my own.
He walked into my life.
Well.. he strutted into my life.
With his thick country drawl in his talk.
And that deep cleft in his chin.
A real, live Country Gentleman.
I was in trouble!
I had met men like him before.
Drop dead handsome.
He could dance circles around all the other guys.
My warning bells started to go off.
When they seem too good to be true, they usually were.
The more I got to know him, the more I wanted to know.
He was rough,
He was tough,
He was strong,
He made me feel safe.
I was falling for him!
This was not what I had planned!!
I was falling in love!
He was the Man-of-My-Dreams!!
But the best part?
He was falling in love with me too!
When he looked at me,
He didn't see a single mother,
He didn't see arm candy,
He didn't see a piece of meat.
He loved me too!
He made me feel loved,
He made me feel passion,
He made me feel fire,
He made me feel cherished.
He made me feel whole.
And now we're living the Happily Ever After!
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