Picking up the Gauntlet

I have a lot of kids.

The secret to having this many kids and not totally losing your mind, is to keep a sense of humor.
Every now and then my sense of humor is noticed and appreciated by others.
Last week 2 of the boys missed school.

I was informed by the attendance office lady that she fondly remembers the excuse I wrote for worker #1 THREE years ago on a day when he was sick.
(I don't remember the exact wording of that note, but I do know It mentioned explosive diarrhea.)
The attendance office lady informed me that note made her day and she demanded the note I send for these most recent absences be even better.

Well... anyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I simply cannot back down from a challenge.
The gauntlet was thrown down....  Of course I HAD to pick it up.

The following notes are being turned in tomorrow.

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Bryan G. was absent Friday Oct 1, 2010, due to the fact that he acquired a case of food poisoning from some questionable seafood at one of our local Mexican restaurants…
I mean, what was the kid thinking? Who orders shrimp from a little Mexican restaurant expecting to come out of it safe and sound? I guess I raised myself quite a gambler in this child.

I considered sending him anyway, as a punishment for such poor food-ordering skills, but I thought that DISD would frown upon him attending class sitting on the toilet whilst holding a trash can.

If the school requires proof of Bryan’s illness, let me know, I’m sure there are still some little shrimpy chunks I missed while cleaning the bathroom walls after his numerous bouts of projectile vomiting.

Thank You.
Dana Clover
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Craig was absent Tuesday Sept 28th due to being required to appear in court. The state of Texas requested his presence in a paternity case because his biological father conveniently forgot that he lived with, was engaged to, or even knew his mother at the time of his conception.

Craig would have gladly missed this court date to continue to receive instruction at DHS, had the court not required him to be present when his biological father was humiliated and proven a liar in front of a room-full of strangers by the Great State of Texas.

Craig should not miss any more days due to this case, because his presence is not required at the remainder of the court dates when his mother sues the tar out of his biological father for back support… She will have to celebrate those victories by herself instead of eating ice cream and giggling uncontrollably with Craig.

If proof is needed, the court case is = #0012251506

Thank you.
Dana Clover
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I hope the attendance office lady approves.