When He's Here...

As I've whined, bitched, cried, sobbed, complained mentioned before, The Man-of-My-Dreams works far far away in Kazakhstan every-other month.
When he's gone things are a little "off"...

But, When He's Here...

1. The House gets thoroughly cleaned.
2.  Fish get caught.
3. We go to the lake every week-end.
4. Lacey underthings come out of the drawers.
5. The car gets fixed.
6. There are countless trips to the home improvement store.
7. I don't blog.
8. Large amounts of Mexican food is ordered.
9. I wear perfume.
10. The bathroom gets re-modeled.
11. The fences get fixed.
12. I don't return phone calls.
13. Weatherstripping is installed on windows.
14. My legs are shaved.
15. Leaking pipes get replaced.
16. Chin-hairs are plucked.
17. The boats go into the water.
18. I'm in bed before 10pm.
19. The truck has more than a half-tank of diesel.
20. NASCAR is on the TV.
21. I don't write.
22. The kids listen better.
23. The bed gets made.
24. The pastures are cleaned.
25. He buys me an iPad! (whoo hoo!)
26. Ridiculous amounts of beef is flame broiled and consumed.
27. I wear shirts without stains.
28. I'm whole.

Yes, he's only been home 2 weeks and every single thing on this list has happened!
I'm happy he's home...
I'm whole again.,..
I'm exhausted from trying to keep up with him!
Pray for me...
... or send cheesecake!

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"Chill"

Ok, so the Man-of-My-Dreams is back home from Kazakhstan for 26 days...
Every time he comes home, I end up writing a post that starts something like this...

• Yes, I'm still alive...
• I know, I'm a terrible blogger...
• Sorry it's been so long, but...

Do we notice a trend here?
I would think that after a month of working 12 hour days 7 days a week, he would be tired, he would want to rest, he would want to stay home and chill.

The problem with that is that the Man-of-My-Dreams does NOT know the meaning of the word "chill"
"Chilling" to him means "Work" and "Running" to you and me.

In the 5 days that he has been back on Texas soil we have...

• Totally mowed, weed-eated, and raked the property.
• Moved, washed, vacuumed & sealed the travel trailer.
• Removed, repaired, and replaced an a/c unit.
• Driven to Lake Livingston to scout out vacation spots.
• Visited family.
• Attended a party and caught up with old High School friends.
• Taken the boat to be repaired.
• Gone fishing at the river.
• Gone out for Fajitas.
• Gone out for Burgers.
• Cleaned out the Mud/Laundry room.
• Cleaned the carport.
• Took down the fence around a big dog pen.
• Pruned the Catalpa Trees lining the driveway.
• Fixed the gray water line under the house.
• Shuttled kids back and forth to various family members houses.
• Hauled fallen tree-limbs to the woods.
• Cleaned the BBQ grills.
  

Whew! I'm tired just typing that list!
So... don't get mad when I don't post daily when he is here..
But you could say a little prayer for me...
Please?
Cause I'm not sure I'll make it through another three weeks of his "Chilling".

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He's Leaving Me!!

The Man-of-My-Dreams is leaving me.
He has been home for over two months.

We have had fun together.
We have laughed together.
We have loved together.
We have worked together.
... Well actually.... I sat on my big 'ol butt and watched him do the work.

And now,
He is leaving me.

He is, in fact, leaving the country!
He is going all the way to Kazakhstan to work!
Ugh!

Don't know anything about Kazakhstan?
Neither did I.
So, as I do with all things I know nothing about,
I Googled it.

This is what I learned...

It's just south of Russia, North of Iran.
And on this map.. it's a pretty green color.

I wanted to know a little more about the culture of Kazakhstan, and this is what I found.

Apparently there is a famous guy from there.
Borat....
I know nothing of Borat.
But...

If the Man-of-My-Dreams comes home wearing one of these I may have to put him down!

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Reasons He's the Man-of-My-Dreams Birthday Edition!

Today is the Man-of-My-Dreams' birthday!
He is working out of state so we won't get to be together.

The best thing I can do without actually being with him is to proclaim my sappy, never-ending, exciting, deep, hot-n-sweaty, giddy, passionate, comfortable, tingly, love for him...
...and making all the other ladies green with envy because he's mine.... ALL MINE!! doesn't hurt either! (insert evil laugh here).

Don't tell anyone...
But today he is
39 years old!

To commemorate this milestone in my beloved's life, I'll share

39 reasons he's the Man-of-My-Dreams!

1. He is a wonderful father!
2. His unwavering dedication and faithfulness.
3. He schmooshes the BIG bugs.
4. He can fix anything that's broken.
5. He is the world's best taste-tester for my recipes and never complains when they are a BIG flop.
6. The way he always covers me up in the middle of the night after I kick off the covers.
7. He has no problem pitching in and doing laundry or dishes when I am a total slacker.
8. He never makes me feel bad for being a total slacker.
9. The way he shows me total respect and teaches our children to do the same.
10. He is a wonderful step-father.
11. The way he sweetly rubs me when I snore instead of kicking my butt out of bed.
12. The way he makes me feel like a woman.
13. The way he makes me feel like a lady.
14. When he notices a stray hair growing in a place it should NOT be, he tells me there's a hair from Otis the Boston Terrier on me so I can get rid of it. And he actually acts like he believes that's all it was!
15. His strong work ethic.
16. His wrists.... ooh, his wrists... (swoon)
17. He humors me and doesn't throw too large of a fit when I come home with a new critter.
18. His kisses.
19. He backs me up when I'm disciplining the boys.
20. He reads my silly blog and doesn't tell me when I make no sense.
21. He supports my dreams, even when they are crazy.
22. He tells me I'm beautiful.
23. He never ends a conversation without telling me he loves me.
24. He pretends not to notice when I pass gas. (Not that I EVER do!)
25. The way it feels when he wraps his strong arms around me.
26. His strong arms.
27. His willingness to try new things.
28. The fact that he would rather spend a weekend with the family instead of out with the guys.
29. He doesn't laugh at me when I cry like a baby at movies and sad songs.
30. His cleft chin.
31. His thick Texas accent.
32. The way he fills out those Wranglers... Oh my!
33. The way his hard-as-nails shell crumbles when he sees his little girl.
34. He moves the heavy stuff.
35. The twinkle in his eye when he's being naughty.
36. The way he talks about our future and makes me feel secure in the knowledge that he is excited about spending it with me.
37. His smell.
38. The way he acts like my lumpy, bumpy, sagging-from-birthing-all-them-babies body is still sexy.
39. Everything.

Happy Birthday, baby!
I love you and am proud to call you my husband!

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Is it hereditary?

I am so lucky to have the Man-of-My-Dreams.
Today was the day that we finally had the time to fix the back wall in our laundry room.
Hurricane Ike decided to really blow that wall around and knock it off of its foundation.
The kids were amused each time they shut the door and the back wall would swing in and out like a doggy door, but we were not.

As I have whined, complained, & bitched about, explained many times, the Man-of-My-Dreams is working out of state and is only able to come home one or two week-ends a month.
This has made it really hard to finish a lot of the projects that need done around the farm.
The Boys and I can do most things, but we need Daddy for the big stuff.
Removing the broken wall and building a new one was one of those times.

All of the boys are away from home visiting various family members, so it was just The Little-Foreman-in-Pink, The Man-of-My-Dreams and I.
This meant that, much to my dismay, I was his helper on this job.
And by helper, I mean I got to sit in the chair and ask a million questions between running and getting some tool he needed and helping hold a board here and there, while he sweated, worked and occasionally cursed at the wall.

One thing that I have noticed about this man, is a strange and cute little habit he has of talking to himself. He was working hard, and I thought he was talking to me, telling me what he was doing and if this or that was right. Nope... turns out he was just catting away happily to himself!

"There! thats good-n-tight."
"Nope.. that won't do."
"Where did I put that hammer?"
"That looks pretty damn good!"
"I can build a wall!"

Each time I would answer him....

"Thats great honey! You can do anything!"
"Oh well, better luck next time."
"You put the hammer on the ladder."
"It IS a mighty fine wall!"

He would look at me confused like I just interrupted some deep thought.
He didn't even know I was there!
So, of course, I tried to sneak back into the house.
And, of course, it was at that exact moment he needed the hack-saw from the tool shed.
This went on for most of the day.
He was working and chatting to himself, and I was watching and assisting as needed.

Then I walked over to my beautiful koi pond.
This is where I usually find the Little-Foreman-in-Pink "fishing" (bobber but no hook), she didn't know I was standing there watching her.
She was chatting away to herself..

"I'm gonna catch a reallly big fish!"
"Oh I threw that one far!"
"Where should I sit down?"
"I think I will eat my fish for dinner."
"I wanna eat the orange fish.. I like oranges."

I wonder where she gets it from?

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Reason He's the Man-of-My-Dreams (Anniversary Edition)

Today is Our Anniversary, so I gotta talk about my Honey today. **swoon**

1.) He is the toughest man I know.
(he is a "bad boy" with a heart of gold... the PERFECT combination!)

2.) He is a 'Ger Er Done' kinda guy... If something needs done, he will do it .. not tomorrow, not later, not when he feels like it... NOW.

3.) He asks my opinion, and actually listens to what I have to say.

4.) He has the best wrists ever! (strong wrists/hands get me every time!)

5.) He thinks his old, fat, saggin-from-birthin-all-them-babies wife is still sexy.

6.) He will move heaven and Earth to make sure his family is taken care of.

7.) He smooshes the big spiders for me.

8.) He loves me. (and that is NOT always an easy thing!!)

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Reason He's the Man-of-My-Dreams #16

When he sets his mind to something , He gets it done.
I love him for it.

Some people may say he's like a dog with a bone.
Some people may say he has a one track mind.
Some people may say he needs meds for OCD.
Some people may ask how I can live with him when he has his mind on something.
Some people may say he is crazy-freaky-obsessed with these things.
Some people may say he is too much of a perfectionist.
Some people may say that he needs to take a MAJOR chill pill.
Some people may wonder if he finds it impossible to sit still. EVER!
Some people may say he's stubborn.
Some people may ask why?

Not me.. nope never-ever.
I love him.
I love him
I love him.

and I really don't know who would feed my critters if I went to prison for murder.

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When Red-Necks get Bored (summer-time fun)

Ah, the joys of summer...

Throwing younger siblings into the fishing pond...

swimming in the cool water.

Fishing...
Wait a minute!!
Fishing??

But...But there is no bait!....
But... But... the Man-of-My-Dreams said we can't catch the fish while it's spawning season!!!
He is fishing???

Oh.... That's right!
You might be The Man-of-My-Dreams IF...

You have more fun trying to hit your swimming children with your fishing weight & bobber than you do actually catching fish!!!

but they sure had fun!!
Silly Men-Folk!

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Reasons he is the Man-of-My-Dreams (birthday edition)

I just got home from visiting the Man-of-My-Dreams in Man Town .
Today is his Birthday!!
It really kinda stinks that he is still working out of town on his special day.
But the Little-Foreman-in-Pink, Worker #2 and I got to go stay with him.

The men got to do some fishing. To celebrate, we all went out to eat at a fancy-schmancy restaurant and then he got to watch his races on TV in peace. (that almost NEVER happens!!)
I tell ya... we are super exciting!

Reasons he is the Man-of-My-Dreams (Birthday edition)

He told me my new hair-cut was beautiful, even though I know he prefers it long.

The one thing he really wanted for his Birthday was a visit from us. (not a night out drinking and partying with the guys.. but a nice boring visit from his frumpy wife and dirty kids! What a guy!)

He is getting better with age!
I tell ya ladies... that man can make me tingle and sprout goose-bumps and go weak in the knees even more today than the day we met! **swoon**
(and, yes, I can say that.. we are married.. it's legal... I tingle in a family-friendly kinda way. Deal with it..)

He still holds the door open for me.

He wakes up and covers me with the blanket at night when I am cold. (right before he kicks me for snoring because when I'm in Louisiana my allergies go crazy and I can't breathe!!)

Happy Birthday Baby!!

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Speed Photography

I went to spend a few days with the Man-of-My-Dreams at his Man-Town this week-end.
One of the reasons I like going there is to look around and take pictures. He is on the coast. The same coast that Hurricane Rita destroyed a little over 2 years ago.
So much of it is now raw marsh/swamp land.
It's sad and beautiful all at one time.
Sad, because you can see where all of the houses once stood sheltering their families.
And beautiful because it's gone back to raw nature.

I decided I wanted to drive around a bit and try to get a few good shots of the wildlife in the area. I especially wanted to get a few shots of Gators. They are everywhere!
The sweet Man-of-my-Dreams told me he would drive so I could take pictures.
How sweet, I thought to myself.

This is how the day went....

Me = Oh Oh Oh There is a gator!!
Him = Take a picture!

believe it or not there was a gator there....

but taking a picture while leaning out of the window of a truck thats flying down the road at 60+ mph is not as easy as it sounds!

Me = Honey.. slow down please!
Him = I did... I'm only going 59 now.

There were some really pretty birds and turtles in this shot..

But, you'll just have to take my word on that!

**sigh**

Don't worry, he redeemed himself....

More on that soon!

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He's moving into his own house!!!

Well, kinda sorta...
As I have complained, whined, cried about, pouted about, told you, The Man-of-My-Dreams is working out of state during the week.
One of the things that makes it even harder is the fact that the kids and I can't really go visit and stay with him when he cannot come home on the week-ends.
He has been renting a small travel trailer and sharing it with another guy from his job.

After many months of looking, we found a camper for him to own that we could afford (using his per-diem pay) and that can fit the kids in for a visit too! And it's nice!!!

Did you know that it's harder to get financed for an RV loan than it is to get financed for a house?!?!?
It was CRAZY!! They say it is because tn RV or camper is seen as a luxury item, and you can drive off with it and never be seen again where a house you cannot and it is seen as a need.

Well if The Man-of-My-Dreams wants a job... this is a NEED.
(his next job will not have any place to rent!)

It took lots of prayers, lots of paper-cuts, lots of stress, and a wonderful Mother who was willing to co-sign...

But today it is gonna be in OUR driveway!!!

It has a slide-out that makes a HUGE difference in the feeling of space.

a nice bedroom area for him, couch, table & entertainment center.

A cute, but small kitchen.

little bathroom and dining area.
And 4 extra beds for the boys!! It's perfect for our needs! And.... without having to pay for hotel rooms or eating out at expensive restaurants, we can go on vacations with this thing!!!

Whoo Hoo!!! now I get to decorate!!

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Reasons he's The-Man-of-My-Dreams #14

His mind is like a steel trap.. he never forgets.

- He never forgets to tell me he loves me before he hangs up the phone.

- He never forgets to call me every morning while he works out of town.

- He never forgets kiss me good-bye before he leaves the house.

- He never forgets that I told him 6 months ago that I was gonna clean out our closet and purge my stuff, but haven't gotten to it yet.

- He never forgets That I told him I'd get all my stuff out of his little building outside so he would have room for his tools... oops haven't done that one yet either.

- Then there was that time he forgot my Birthday...

This is going down-hill fast...

Never-mind....
He's still The Man-of-My-Dreams...
I just maybe wish he maybe would forget a few things!

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Reason He is The-Man-of-My-Dreams

He drives me CRAZY!
He finds what he wants and will not shut up about it till he has it.
He can speed-dial me and bug me until I give in.
He can get me so frustrated and mad that I threaten to poke out his eye with a fork.

Then all he has to do is walk through the door and I melt and am un-mad (I just love making up new words) once again.

Grrrrr...
Sometimes it would just feel good to poke his eye out!!!

**sigh** but that's another rant for another day.

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He's fine!

well.. The Man-of-My-Dreams had his knee surgery this morning.
Thanks to all who sent prayers and warm thoughts they meant a lot!

They found out that he did indeed have a 75% tear of his cartilage, they took out the damaged part and sewed him right on up and he should be great after he heals. Thank Goodness!!

Now to answer the real burning question...

How did he do with the anesthesia?
hmmm well he did go to sleep quickly. he didn't get past 98 (you know when they tell you to count backwards from 100).

I was a little bit worried about him waking up swinging.... because he was a fighter in his younger days....

My man.... My husband... Mr tough Guy....
Turned into the biggest pile of flirting mush you have ever seen!

He woke up complaining because there was no music playing.
Then he proceeded to sing and ask all of the nurses to dance!

Of course they all fell in love with him.

Who wouldn't?
I mean... a big strapping man serenading you and asking you to dance? as long as you could ignore the drool he seemed perfect! ;)

He's fully awake now and sitting on the couch complaining about the fact he isn't outside fixing the fence where the Smarter-Than-Your-Average-Cow managed to push through yet again.

All is back to normal and he's gonna be fine....

Thank Goodness to Vicodin or I'd never make it through this week!
I'll just keep him doped up and we'll be fine.

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Preparing for a difficult week.

The Man-of-My-Dreams is scheduled to have knee surgery on Monday (the 14th).

We went to the hospital to pre-register today.

The nurse came in to talk to him....


She went over the normal questions....

Are you allergic to any medications? yep...... true

Any funky side effects from anesthesia? nope.... He would never know because he has never even had stitches. I'm just waiting for him to wig out on me and start looking for pink submarines in the recovery room.... I will try to sneak in my video camera.. it should be great!

High blood pressure? nope

Blood disorders? nope

Do you know how to use crutches? yep.... LOL sure you do.. big man..... the first thing he wanted to to was have a race with the boys. (they sent them home with him today so he can practice)

Do you need me to explain the pain management drugs to you? nope... I won't need any. This is where I had to step in.... I am married to a wonderful man... But he will live in terrible pain and not take anything for it! I understand people not wanting to take unneeded drugs.... But Come on people!! If you are hurting.... I mean REALLY hurting like oh.... you just had your knee cut open and crushed cartilage scooped out then stitches put in hurting... Take the pain meds for cryin out loud!!! Why sit there in pain? Why make the rest of your family suffer because you are being stubborn. It is legal for you to take the "good stuff" under these circumstances you are in pain.. TAKE IT!!!

You do understand that you will need to rest and stay off of your leg for 5 days.. right? Ha! I'll be out cutting wood and working by Tuesday. Bring it on!! ((Grunt grunt)) It was at this point I pulled the nurse out of the little consult room and begged her for some other drugs that I could use to knock him out. She laughed.... she obviously doesn't know who she is dealing with here!!! This man is unable to just sit there..... he MUST be up and doing something at all times or I truly think his head will explode!!! she said no.... then I broke into tears and begged for something to knock ME out until he was all better.

You cannot eat or drink anything after midnight the night before your surgery, ok? What?? you know .... my knee doesn't really hurt that bad after all.... I think we should just drop this whole idea... come on lets go get lunch. Honey sit down and be quiet!

Do you have any questions?

Can I drive home? no, NO!

What about breakfast? can I eat a little breakfast? Nothing to eat or drink. Baby... drop it. I'll be waiting with a Big Mac when you wake up ok? now shhhhh!

What about Sprite... it's clear... it doesn't count as "real" food or drink does it? Can I have my Sprite? No, NOTHING to eat or drink. Honey.... stop it. You wont die I promise.

Get out of my office!!! I'll see you Monday Morning.....
Please pray for me..... please.

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Reason He is the Man-of-My-Dreams #13.

He can fix my broken dishwasher!!!!
(If you had 4 boys washing dishes you'd understand... there is nothing like taking a big ole swig of Diet Coke only to find it has an oil-slick on top... yummy!)

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The Man-of-My-Dreams Translation.

I have been trying to get the Man-of-My-Dreams to stop in and say hello on my blog for awhile now. He just won't hear of it.

It got me to thinking....

Maybe he thinks you won't understand him.

He does have a way with words...

Let me help you just in case you bump into him somewhere, So you'll know what he is saying.

He don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. = That man is confused.

Toad choker or Frog strangler or Turd floater = It's raining hard.

If you can't run with the big dogs, then stay on the porch. = If you cant handle it, leave.

He's like a blister--he doesn't show up till the work's all done = That man is lazy.

He's all hat and no cattle = That man is Pretentious.

She got whooped with an ugly stick. = That woman is unattractive.

So ugly that his mama had to tie a pork chop around his neck so the dogs would play with him. = That man is ugly.

That dog don't hunt. = You are being untruthful.

He's as yellow as mustard, but without the bite. = That man is scared.

He'd worry the warts off a frog. = That man is nervous.

She's got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth. = That woman is talkative.

He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow. = That man is boastful.

That's how the cow ate the cabbage. = That's how it really happened.

If dumb were dirt, he'd cover an acre. = That man is not intelligent.

If her brains were dynamite, she couldn't blow her nose. = She is not too smart.

Your pissin up-hill. = I'm not buying what you are telling me.

Busy as a one-arm paper hanger. = very busy

Knee high to a grasshopper. = Young/Short

Confused as a cow on AstroTurf. = very confused

This ain't my first rodeo. = I know what I'm doing.

My cow died so I don't need your bull anymore. = Shut up and leave.

Oh My.... I could go on & on..... well I guess I sort of did go on & on.

Now you can talk to the Man-of-My-Dreams!

aren't ya happy now?

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Reasons he is the Man-of-My-Dreams #12

#12 He has no problem washing clothes, or filling the dishwasher, or any of the other "My Wife stinks and didn't get done, chores" (ok.. he never says I stink, That's me talking. And, maybe my mother-in-law too.)
He may not sort the clothes the right way grrrrrrr.
and He definitely does NOT load the dishwasher the right way.. double-grrrrr.
But I ain't complaining!!!

Lucky me!

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Men & Meat, Meat & Men.

Man of My Dreams calls me
(he's coming home tonight after working all week out of state).

"Baby" he says.....
"I know what I want for dinner tonight."

"What do you want Darling?" I sweetly reply.

"I want a Big Ole pot of Butter Beans with smoked sausage."

"That sounds great Honey! I'll have em ready for you when you get home."

"And..." he says, "I want a big skillet of that fried cabbage you make full of bacon."

"OK" I said. "Butter-beans and sausage tonight, and fried cabbage with bacon tomorrow night?" (he'll be home for three dinners.)

"No.... I want em for one meal.... all tonight. I have a craving."

"OK Honey... I'll make both."
(but that's two meats...thinking to self)

"Oooh and How bout some Hamburger patties? I'd love some Hamburger patties, a BIG Pot of Butter Beans with Sausage, and a skillet full of fried cabbage and bacon, That sounds great for dinner tonight. I'll Be in around 8pm."

"But Darling? Didn't you say that man was going to bring over the brisket you bought from the fund raiser today? Why don't we just eat that with the Butter Beans and sausage tonight, and have hamburger patties and fried cabbage full of bacon tomorrow night?"

"You don't want to make me butter beans AND Fried cabbage full of bacon tonight? Even though I have been craving it all week?"

"Well of course Dear..... I'll make them if that's what you really want. But I was just thinking it could easily be at least two meals worth of food especially when you throw in a smoked brisket and hamburger patties."

"It's what I'm craving.... **dramatic sigh** But if you don't want to make it, I guess I'll just suck it up and deal with it."

(It was at this point in the conversation that I felt my right eye Begin to twitch, it's never good when my right eye starts to twitch.)

There comes a time in any marriage when you have to ask yourself....
Is this really something I feel like fighting over?
Is this really something worth a loooong drawn out "debate" over?

Usually, when picking your battles wisely, you come to the conclusion that No... it is not.
But there is another very important factor in this meal....

Not only will this meal contain no less than 4 meats that could each hold their own full meal...
BUT
Big pot of butter beans = lots of flatulence from 5 men in the house.
Skillet of fried Cabbage = Lots of flatulence from 5 men in the house.

I have decided that this is not worthy of fighting with The Man of My Dreams and making him question my undying love for him....
(rolling eyes)

BUT
considering the last flatulence fact about this meal...
I may be forced to MOVE OUT over this meal.
(or find a few good gas masks for the Little Foreman-in-Pink and myself)

So I am cooking today...
I am cooking a BIG pot of Butter-Beans filled with smoked sausage.
I am cooking a big skillet of fried cabbage full of Bacon.
I am warming a smoked brisket.

And I am cooking hamburger patties. (tomorrow night HA!)

Pray for me......
Please...
And maybe send me the name of a good cardiologist in my area?
We will need it after this meal!

And please make note....
I LOVE HIM MORE!!!!!!
(and yes, this is an ongoing debate in our house)

I win. ;)

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Reasons He is The Man-of-My-Dreams #11

#11 - He reads my blog every day and keeps the fact that he thinks I am a goofy freaky nut to himself. (for the most part!)

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