FLASHBACK

Remember the summer you were 15 and your mother let you stay home alone while she was at work? She left you with strict instructions that the house was to be cleaned up and the dishes done before she got home?

You had the best of intentions,
The house would be spotless when she got home!
She would be so proud of you that she would let you go out with your friends that night... She might even give you money because you did such a FANTASTIC job.

But... you ended up laying out in the back yard slathered in baby-oil mixed with Iodine, dancing around the house with your music blaring way too loud, and eating all the junk food in the house instead?

Fifteen minutes before she was to arrive home you went into SUPER-CLEAN mode, running, rushing, wiping, stuffing, hiding, cramming.. anything you could do to make the house look acceptable at first glance?
Then you would act deeply wounded if and when she scolded you for not doing anything all day, like you had been working your poor Cinderella-like fingers to the bone?

The Man-of-My-Dreams is coming home tonight from working out of town!
I'm that 15 yr old girl again.

Cept.. this time add shaving my sasquatch-like legs, plucking those God-forsaken wayward hairs, doing 555 crunches, applying war paint, and washing 43 loads of laundry to the list.

yeah... I suck.