Sep 29, 2008

To My Short People.

When I say.... "Someone please open the door."
This means that at least one of you should get up and actually open the door!
It does not mean.. Lets all sit here and look at each other with stupid blank expressions on our faces waiting for someone else to do it... This is NOT the same thing as a staring competition! Open the darn door for your mother!

Two minutes before lights out is NOT the time to tickle your little sister and make her hyper! It is NOT the time to play fetch with Otis the Killer Boston Terrier puppy!
It IS however, time to brush your teeth (shocking new news, I'm sure), take a drink, go to the bathroom etc etc etc...
In turn, two minutes AFTER lights out is NOT the time to remember to empty your bladder, wet your whistle, or brush your teeth! These rules have been in place for your whole entire life!! Learn em already!

Empty Milk Jug = Trash Can.... NOT the refrigerator!
Empty Orange Juice carton = Trash Can.. NOT Refrigerator!
Empty Water Bottle = TRASH CAN!... NOT REFRIGERATOR!!

The dog poop did not track itself into the living room floor! Check your shoes BEFORE you walk in the house!

No... you can NOT keep the cute stray puppy that someone dumped at the end of our driveway last night.... quit asking. Seriously... don't we have enough??

No.. you can NOT change your name to Jimmy.

No.. The rabbit can NOT sleep in your bed with you. sorry.

I know the splinter in your finger hurt... I promise it won't kill you while you are sleeping. You still have to go to school tomorrow. I'll kiss it for you and give you a special Band-Aid.

There is still no direct exit from the bathroom. I promise I'll be out when I am done.... Go Away!

Thank You For Your Time,
I Love You..

More Letters to My Short People can be found HERE

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8 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Melissa said...

Ha Ha, I love it. I am glad I am not the only parent unable to get children, and husband to follow the simplest of rules. You would think you asked them to build a house with their bare hands. Great post

Mom in Time-Out said...

this sounds familiar!;)

Nessa said...

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO, gawd it's almost like you live in my house!!!!! Thanks for the laugh, I know now i am NOT alone!!

Sarah said...

Regarding the empty containers -- I have WAAAAAAY more trouble with this with my husband; my 2 yo knows where the trash is! (I know, subject to change....)

Love your post!

jrmom said...

I absolutely LOVE your blog! The way you word things cracks me up! I can so relate to the "kid thing" as well as purging! Getting new things rocks...getting rid of old things stinks!!! Thanks for sharing!!

Tiffany said...

I could not agree more. Our childern We love them and yet dont like them all in the same day. Parenting such a strange concept. We take on the challenge and then we wonder what in world we got ourselves into.

Jenn said...

I think it's all the same everywhere, kids try to stay up later then bed time!

Janine said...

Hahaaaaaaaa. Brilliant. I could have written some of those.

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