Oct 9, 2008

Irrational Fears

I know I seem to be a perfectly rational person.
I know I seem brave and wise.
I may seem sure of myself , calm, cool, & collected.
(I couldn't even type that without collapsing into laughter!)

But I have a few Irrational Fears.....
Help me dive into my psyche and lets see if we can diagnose my disorders here and save me gobs of money from going to a psychiatrist shall we?

Irrational Fear #1
Hitting a deer while driving.

This doesn't sound too irrational, I know. But... I just know this will happen someday and he will fly up into my windshield and one of two things will happen.

A.) His legs will come through the windshield, he'll be dazed as the dust from the accident settles..... Then, without warning he will wake up and begin to kick wildly in fear and bludgeon me to death with his hooves, and there will be nothing I can do about it because I am also dazed sitting in my car.

B.) He will come head first into the car... and his sharp antler will poke me in the neck.... I'll sit there kinda shocked to be alive, but ok, other than the small hole in my neck until... just like in the first scenario, he will wake and thrash around, thus ripping the little hole bigger and killing me.

Neither of these things are likely to happen to me. Yet I find these thoughts in my head each time I drive at night... or anywhere there might be deer. No.. this fear do not stop me from driving.... This fear does not affect me much at all... but it's always there.... Its always been there.... and I'm sure it will be there till the day I actually do die. Now... will it be a death caused by deer? THAT is the question.
My mother swears that I have this fear because she hit a deer or my Father hit a deer, or someone hit a deer on the drive to the hospital the day I was born.... I just don't know.

Irrational Fear #2
Moths are coming to look at me.

They always have.....
Even as a child these pesky moths would come to my window and flap around hysterically then just sit there on my window screen for hours watching me....
They are watching me.... I just know they are.. It freaks me out man..... It just freaks me out.
I know moths are harmless...
I know they can do nothing to hurt me....
But come'on!!! Can't they pick on someone else for a change???

Whew... I feel so much better telling you my deepest darkest secret fears...
Now you tell me.....
Whats My Problem?!?!?
Or am I just a hopeless scared freak?
Please figure it out before they get me! If you can't figure it out, at least you can feel better about yourself knowing that you are NOT me!

Thanks. ;)


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8 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

Jenn said...

Wow, I've never thought the moths were watching me! But you may be on to something...they cling to my sliding glass door and just...watch. It's disconcerting.

I'm not so worried about the deer. I always hope that if I DO hit one it's a nice, clean kill so I can just load the carcass in my pickup and take it home to fill the freezer.

LadyCiani said...

As a former rental car company employee, I have stupid car insurance trivia to pass along. We would frequently deal with insurance companies when either our rental car was damaged, or when our customers were renting a car because they damaged their own.

If you are in an accident involving a deer, you want to say, "A deer hit my car," not "I hit a deer."

Apparently it changes who is at fault (the deer, not you), and it can change the fund your insurance money pays from (comprehensive v. collision).

Depending on your insurance plan, "acts of God" like a deer hitting your car or a branch falling on your car are considered not your fault, so it may mean you don't have to pay your deductible, and it is recorded differently on your insurance risk record.

FYI, collision insurance pays for damage to your car when you are at fault. Comprehensive covers damage to your car due to something not your fault, or an "act of God." Liability generally covers the other party (pedestrian, car, or object - like if you took out a mailbox in an accident).

On The Verge said...

This is too funny! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to add another scenario. This happened to someone I know! They nearly hit or were hit by a dear but narrowly escaped. The rear end of the deer slid across the driver side of the car the deer’s rear end at the right height to leave a …nervous deer poo on the driver’s side of the front windshield. FYI Windshield wipers do not remove deer poo no matter how much wiper fluid you use.

Anonymous said...

About the moths, I don't know. But, I used to live in a very "deer" popluated area. Those fears are reasonable. But, Dana, when it is your time, it's your time. Just hope it will be quick and painless. Feel better now? :) Margie

Elle said...

The whole deer thing is scary. They always come out right in front of you and there's always more than one.

Bethany said...

Is fear #1 the reason that the ONLY advice you had for me when I started college in a rural town was:

If you can't avoid hitting a dear, speed up so he'll fly over your car. If you brake and try to stop, you'll end up doing more damage to yourself.

THAT'S why??

- your spoiled-rotten, "city girl", little sister

dykewife said...

i'm terrified of moths too, but not because they're looking at me. they always seem to flutter right in my face. i hate that!! i hate those fluttering horrors.

yes, i know they're harmless. i know they're not after me.

but they flutter so!

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