I know I seem to be a perfectly rational person.
I know I seem brave and wise.
I may seem sure of myself , calm, cool, & collected.
(I couldn't even type that without collapsing into laughter!)
But I have a few Irrational Fears.....
Help me dive into my psyche and lets see if we can diagnose my disorders here and save me gobs of money from going to a psychiatrist shall we?
Irrational Fear #1
Hitting a deer while driving.
This doesn't sound too irrational, I know. But... I just know this will happen someday and he will fly up into my windshield and one of two things will happen.
A.) His legs will come through the windshield, he'll be dazed as the dust from the accident settles..... Then, without warning he will wake up and begin to kick wildly in fear and bludgeon me to death with his hooves, and there will be nothing I can do about it because I am also dazed sitting in my car.
B.) He will come head first into the car... and his sharp antler will poke me in the neck.... I'll sit there kinda shocked to be alive, but ok, other than the small hole in my neck until... just like in the first scenario, he will wake and thrash around, thus ripping the little hole bigger and killing me.
Neither of these things are likely to happen to me. Yet I find these thoughts in my head each time I drive at night... or anywhere there might be deer. No.. this fear do not stop me from driving.... This fear does not affect me much at all... but it's always there.... Its always been there.... and I'm sure it will be there till the day I actually do die. Now... will it be a death caused by deer? THAT is the question.
My mother swears that I have this fear because she hit a deer or my Father hit a deer, or someone hit a deer on the drive to the hospital the day I was born.... I just don't know.
Irrational Fear #2
Moths are coming to look at me.
They always have.....
Even as a child these pesky moths would come to my window and flap around hysterically then just sit there on my window screen for hours watching me....
They are watching me.... I just know they are.. It freaks me out man..... It just freaks me out.
I know moths are harmless...
I know they can do nothing to hurt me....
But come'on!!! Can't they pick on someone else for a change???
Whew... I feel so much better telling you my deepest darkest secret fears...
Now you tell me.....
Whats My Problem?!?!?
Or am I just a hopeless scared freak?
Please figure it out before they get me! If you can't figure it out, at least you can feel better about yourself knowing that you are NOT me!