Stupid Thoughts...

That I have when I've gulped down a tad too much NyQuil and have a raging cold.

1. How is it possible for no air to be able to pass though your nasal passages, and yet snot can literally POUR out of it? (Gross, I know... But how does that work??)

2. Why can't they make NyQuil in Mocha?

3. Why does my nose let me breathe when I stand up, but not when I sit down? How does it know????

4. Will the Man-of-My-Dreams crack and try to smother me with my pillow when I break out into my cold induced MEGA-Snore? (I wouldn't blame him!)

5. How much Vick's Vapor Rub can you rub on your body before you become toxic and start to burp menthol then die?

6. If it's really the Sneezing, coughing, stuffy nose, headache, so you can rest medicine.... why am I not sleeping like a baby???

7. Do major head colds make everyone write such stupid blog posts?

Ignore me..... I'll be better soon.

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Irrational Fears

I know I seem to be a perfectly rational person.
I know I seem brave and wise.
I may seem sure of myself , calm, cool, & collected.
(I couldn't even type that without collapsing into laughter!)

But I have a few Irrational Fears.....
Help me dive into my psyche and lets see if we can diagnose my disorders here and save me gobs of money from going to a psychiatrist shall we?

Irrational Fear #1
Hitting a deer while driving.

This doesn't sound too irrational, I know. But... I just know this will happen someday and he will fly up into my windshield and one of two things will happen.

A.) His legs will come through the windshield, he'll be dazed as the dust from the accident settles..... Then, without warning he will wake up and begin to kick wildly in fear and bludgeon me to death with his hooves, and there will be nothing I can do about it because I am also dazed sitting in my car.

B.) He will come head first into the car... and his sharp antler will poke me in the neck.... I'll sit there kinda shocked to be alive, but ok, other than the small hole in my neck until... just like in the first scenario, he will wake and thrash around, thus ripping the little hole bigger and killing me.

Neither of these things are likely to happen to me. Yet I find these thoughts in my head each time I drive at night... or anywhere there might be deer. No.. this fear do not stop me from driving.... This fear does not affect me much at all... but it's always there.... Its always been there.... and I'm sure it will be there till the day I actually do die. Now... will it be a death caused by deer? THAT is the question.
My mother swears that I have this fear because she hit a deer or my Father hit a deer, or someone hit a deer on the drive to the hospital the day I was born.... I just don't know.

Irrational Fear #2
Moths are coming to look at me.

They always have.....
Even as a child these pesky moths would come to my window and flap around hysterically then just sit there on my window screen for hours watching me....
They are watching me.... I just know they are.. It freaks me out man..... It just freaks me out.
I know moths are harmless...
I know they can do nothing to hurt me....
But come'on!!! Can't they pick on someone else for a change???

Whew... I feel so much better telling you my deepest darkest secret fears...
Now you tell me.....
Whats My Problem?!?!?
Or am I just a hopeless scared freak?
Please figure it out before they get me! If you can't figure it out, at least you can feel better about yourself knowing that you are NOT me!

Thanks. ;)

.

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Stupid Thoughts...

That pop into my head when I can't sleep.


1.) If the spinning ceiling fan above my bed suddenly falls, will the blades be spinning fast enough to actually cut off my feet?

2.) Why do I say "excuse Me" when I fart and there is no one else is around?

3.) If the ceiling fan does, in fact, cut off my feet... how would I stop the blood long enough for help to arrive?

4.) Why do I love cheese so much? Why can't I love wheat germ instead?

5.) Would I have time to grab my nice looking robe before the handsome paramedic dude bursts into my bedroom to care for my now severed-by-the-ceiling-fan bloody stumps?

6.) My fingernails are ugly.... is a nice garden really better than pretty hands?

7.) If they were able to re-attach my feet, would I always have a noticeable limp and be forever known as that ceiling-fan-cut-off-her-feet woman?

8.) Did I just feel a spider crawl on my leg?

9.) Who would take care of me while I was recovering from having my feet re-attached? I do NOT want the Man-of-My-Dreams to help me in the bathroom!!

10.) Why am I laying here awake thinking these stupid thoughts...

11.) It's not THAT uncomfortable to try to sleep with my feet hanging off the side of the bed, away from the ceiling fan.... I CAN do this!

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