Aug 2, 2010

Paranoid?

I am beginning to feel a little bit paranoid.
I'm not usually a paranoid person who is convinced that everyone and everything is out to get her.
But it seems...
They ARE!

Here, I'll show ya!

Exhibit A.
It was a normal Thursday evening.
I was making Chicken-Fried Steak.. (yum!)
I make so many that they have to be cooked in batches.
I stick them in a warm oven to keep warm and crispy while I finish the rest.
Nothing out of the ordinary with that.

I had the oven set at 170 F degrees.
The next thing I know, the house fills with smoke.
I opened the oven and found the once-juicy steaks black and dry!
The oven thermometer read 580 degrees!!
BOTH heating elements were glowing bright red.

I turned off the oven, but it didn't stop heating!
The only way to stop the darn thing was to shut off the power at the breaker outside.

Now... I have to turn on my oven at the breaker to use the stove-top and the crazy-possessed thing heats up and threatens to burn down the house every time I do!

Exhibit B
My dishwasher has decided to scare my dogs.
You turn the thing on and it makes a horrible buzzing and grinding noise, accompanied by a lovely smell of burning plastic.

So... looks like we'll be washing dishes by hand for awhile.

Except....

Exhibit C

We went to the lake this weekend.
It was a wonderful relaxing weekend.
We got to spend some quality time with my mother, it was great.
I didn't worry about my possessed kitchen appliances one time!

By the time we got home, we were tired, sticky and smelly.
All I wanted was to hop into the shower and wash off the lake funk and sweat.
All the kids wanted to do was race to the bathroom.

Guess who's water well pump went out while we were gone?
No water for us!
Ugh!

And... I'm not even gonna talk about my uber-expensive washing machine that broke almost a month ago, and the service center that has sent me the wrong part TWICE!

Exhibit D

NONE of these things can happen when the Man-of-My-Dreams is in the same country as me!!

So, let me recap...
Possessed-trying-to-burn-the-house-down stove + growling-plastic-burning-dishwasher + NO WATER = They ARE out to get me!!!

... and just in case you're wondering...
I do still stink!
Every dish, cup, spoon, and fork in my house is dirty!
My back hurts from hauling Pond water to use to flush the toilets!
And Mt Laundry could collapse at any moment!
Happy Monday!
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5 amazing comments. Talk To Me!!:

The Apple Pie Gal said...

Looks like "Murphy" has been visiting you too! Hope everything works out...sorry I laughed :)

April in CT said...

Holy crap. I don't even have words for the state of panic I'd be in! Here's hoping everything gets sorted!!

Domestic Goddess said...

Hmmmmm... I just watched Joyce Meyers and she would suggest that you stop that "stinkin thinkin" and look at the positive side... You have a pond close enough to haul water so you can flush the toilets, You live on a farm, cook out, Teach the kiddos how they used to wash the dishes, laundry, and take baths in the OLDEN DAYS... pretend you are frontier pioneers...


Who am I kidding? I'd be paranoid too!
Good luck!

MamaTea said...

That darn Murphy. Someone should shoot him. Sorry life is especially paranoid for you right now. I have to say though, no one else I know is as entertaining about life tumbling downward as you are!!!!

Anonymous said...

And you do know that Murphy was an optimist.

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