As some of you know.... Me & Mine were featured in a wonderful piece of dramatic theater last year. I am awaiting the call from the Emmy Award committee as we speak. It was a moving documentary on ABC called....
***NOTE the pictures on the ABC web site are terrible!!! please know that they were taken in 120 degree heat, and they used the wide angle lens on the camera & not the Pretty-Super-Star lens that they promised me would be on the camera!! I'd say more, but I'm afraid that would jeopardise the lawsuit I have against them for making me look like a fat sweaty pig. I look nothing like that now.... Oh wait a minute.... that was my Stand-in.... that's it... My stand-in..... My Body Double. ***
I'll get into my "Reality TV Show" rant later.
I live in a very small town. I live in a very VERY small town. The TV crew and the filming of our episode of Wife Swap was a very big deal at the time. I was interviewed on the Radio, in the Newspaper, had people ask for my autograph, I was stopped wherever I went by people who just had to get a piece of this big TV star. The paparazzi were everywhere.
It was ok tho.. I promised not forget the little people.. and I didn't.... I kissed babies... I signed autographs for sobbing fans, and made sure my motorcade and entourage was courteous of all the locals. Its just a small price we Big Stars have to pay for our fame.
Well..... even as I sit here, one year later awaiting my Emmy nod, I still have to do some of the mundane things just like all the "normal" people do.
I had to go to the bank. I wanted to cash a check for $9.50. Well I arrived at the bank..... put on my shades so I wouldn't be mobbed by my adoring fans, and went inside.... It seemed the coast was clear so I went to wait in line.... Wait in line!?!?!?!? What?? didn't they know who I was??? So I took off my sunglasses just in case my disguise was too ingenious and working too well for me to get my well deserved perks from the bank.... Nothing..... No one even bothered to ask me if I needed a beverage!! and I DID looked parched you know! I had walked all the way in from the parking lot!! I waited in line.... and waited.... and then waited some more.
"Next" said the lady from behind the counter. "Can I help you?" I walked up to her and quietly said.. "I need to cash a check please." I slid the huge check over to her, she looked at it..... then held it up to the light looking for the watermark to make sure it was real. Then she said .... "I'll need to see some I.D."...
WHAT?!?! ID???? I was shocked and amazed! But then it hit me.... she was probably trying to make me feel like she didn't realize the caliber of star she was dealing with.. you know, sometimes stars like me like to maintain a certain level of anonymity. I told her I appreciated the courtesy. Then she asked me to sign a piece pf paper..
Ah Ha!! I KNEW it! she wanted my autograph!! She slid my check back to me and wanted me to sign the back of it!! and to make things worse, she wanted me to put my thumb print on it too!!! Needless to say.... I will NOT remember to thank her at my award acceptance speech!!
....I'm in a strange mood today. And trying to avoid Mt Laundry.... ignore me.
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