HELP!!! I think we have a ghost!!

Yes... I know. It sounds strange. But just have no other way to explain it!
I know that I am usually so very calm, so very together, so very rational. (I couldnt even type that with a straight face!)

But sadly I have come to the conclusion that we do in-fact have a ghost.
There have been many unexplainable things happening around the homestead.

I'll give you the list and YOU decide.....

My hammer is missing. I have asked workers #1-#4 who used it last and where did they put it. They all say....
"Not Me"
"I don't know"
"I haven't used it in for-ev-er".

There is a large scratch down the side of the Suburban......
"I didn't do it"
"We haven't even come close to it with our bikes mom."
"I don't know"

There is an empty milk jug in the fridge....
"I haven't had milk in days"
"There was a LOT left when I poured a glass"
"I didn't do it"
"I don't know"
and my personal favorite... "Maybe it evaporated"

Otis the killer Boston Terrier Guard Dog threw up Jolly Rancher Candy.
"I didn't give him any"
"I put mine up where he couldn't get it!"
"I have never even seen Jolly Rancher candy!"

My peach tree has been cut down!!...
"I didn;t cut it down mom."
"Maybe we have termites."
"I have never used the saw.. ever never!"
"maybe a burglar came and cut it down, we should call the police!!"

There is a G.I. Joe Navy Seal man swimming in the aquarium with My pretty fish....
"Mom.. I wouldn't put him in there!"
"I have no idea how he got in there"
"Maybe he's been there the whole time and we just never noticed."
"Maybe he fell in by himself" (yeah right... he fell right through the lid)

There is a nicely washed and now very dry dead frog in my dryer....
"I don't put frogs in my jeans pockets Mom!"
"I don't even like frogs Mom"
"I never met that frog"
"My jeans are still dirty mom so it wasn't me"

There are no less than 17 Tootsie Roll wrappers under the cushion of the couch....
"Mom, I don't even like Tootsie Rolls!"
"Maybe Otis did it, he ate Jolly Ranchers too ya know!"
"I saw dad eating a tootsie roll when he was home last week! He must have done it."
"Not me"

The Little-Foreman-in-Pink came out of her room and said... "Holy Crap Mommy my movie is over!"...
"I have never said that in front of her mom!"
"I have never said that in my life!"
"I don't know where she could have heard that."

This is just the beginning of the list...
What would you think?

Yep.. I knew it....
It MUST be a ghost!!