Jul 30, 2009

It's All New Again

As I told you a few days ago, I got a brand-spankin new "Big Girl" camera.
I have been playing with it...
I've been playing with it, a LOT.

With a brand new camera, you decide that anything and everything is photo-worthy.

Like melted glass in your burn-pile.

Or some pine needles.


Or even your attitude-filled beef calf.


Yep, this is T-Bone.
He will fill our freezer in a few months.


Did I mention that he has an attitude?

Making the transition to a DSLR camera, so far, hasnt been painful.
It is, however, a little intimidating.
There are SO many things you can do!
But, for now, I am using the auto feture.
That makes it almost as easy as my good old point-n-shoot!

Now, PhotoShop?

Thats another story...
I swear those lines weren't there BEFORE I made it "better" with PhotoShop!

I'm having fun learning... and failing... and learning....




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Jul 28, 2009

guess what I got?!?!?

The poor FedEx man may never be the same...
I guess he isn't used to being tackled by a fat country woman everyday?
Go figure.


More soon......
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Jul 24, 2009

Just one more way I've managed to ruin her life.


The Little-Foreman-in-pink starts Kindergarten this fall.
She is the last one I have at home.

She will be my last my "First Day" of school.
She will be the last one to color pretty pictures for the refrigerator using those fat brightly colored crayons.
She will be the last one filled with entirely too much excitement over her new back pack and shiny school supplies.
She will be the last one to possibly shed a tear as I leave her in the classroom.
Who am I kidding?!?
The only one with a tear in her eye that day will be me!

I knew, when she was born, that she would be my last baby....

With My first baby, I worked with him and encouraged him to walk early, talk early, learn his colors early, read a story early, I wanted him to reach each milestone as early and as perfectly as possible.

We joined play-groups and Gymboree to make sure he was socialized properly.
There were swimming lessons, Sunday School, and even an exclusive Pre-School.

With my following babies, I wanted him to match or beat the record his brothers had previously set.
They all started school with a running start.
I knew they were 100% ready.
They did well.

Then we moved out to the country.
And SHE arrived.
She came barreling into our lives with as much spunk as her tiny 5.5 lb body could possibly muster.

With her, it was different.
Not because she was our only girl.
Not because she was born in the country.
Not because 4 boys had turned her once sharp-as-a-tack mother into a mumbling pile of goo.


She was different because I knew she would be my last baby.

I wanted to saver every baby moment.
I wanted to inhale her babyness and hold onto its scent forever.
I wanted every coo and squeak to be permanently etched into my soul, never to be forgotten.
I never want those memories to fade.

I let her set the pace.
I didn't push her to walk early (though she did it anyway!)
I didn't push her to talk early (although she started THAT early too!)
There has been no Gymboree, no exclusive pre-school.
No "Hooked On Phonics".

Instead, there has been a farm, four brothers, and lots of love.

This, in itself, is not a bad thing.
BUT, I'm afraid I've set her up for a harder time in school.

She is extremely smart.
But, instead of reading books, she can weed the garden without picking the tender vegetable plants.
Instead of knowing math, she can collect, count, sort, and clean eggs.
Instead of knowing and understanding the politics of socialization, she can comfort and calm ANY animal.

With her brothers, I worked very hard on their verbal skills.
When their little mouths had trouble pronouncing a word correctly, we worked on it to get it right.
With Her?
We have fallen in love with her way of pronouncing things.
In fact, we usually say it wrong too!

We no longer have a refrigerator in our house...
We have a Frigider.

We don't love ballons...
we have Bwoons.

We don't eat shrimp..
We enjoy Chrump.

Our sun isn't yellow...
Our sun is Yah-doh.

These things will be easy to fix, I know.
But You have to understand...
This exceptionally cute little red-head has been raised with 4, count 'em, FOUR big brothers.

This means she doesn't take smack from anyone!
She knows how to handle herself.
She will stand up and fight if needed.

On that first day of school, I have a sickening feeling that when that first kid laughs at her for calling a crayon Yah-Doh, I will get my first call from the principal to meet with him because my sweet 5 yr old girl just broke some mean boys nose!

Lord Help Us All...
It's gonna be a bumpy ride!







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Jul 20, 2009

He loves me.....


Worker #1 is working and living away from home again this summer with his uncle.
He got a welcomed break this week-end to go out to the ranch with my mother and relax for a few days.

Each morning he would wake up before everyone else and take a walk.
On these walks, he snapped pictures.

He took a lot of beautiful pictures. Like that tree, he knew I'd love that tree.

He called me with stories of all the amazing things he saw.
Then he told me he saw something that reminded him of me.

"Mom.. I saw something that was just like you."

He wouldn't tell me what it was.
He showed me instead....

This picture!


He said she just kept staring at him and wouldn't move or look away.
She seemed to look straight through him seeing all...

Ummm Thanks?

He tried to make up for it by bringing me gifts...

COW BONES!
Maybe he's been gone too long.


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Jul 17, 2009

Oh No!!... Oh Yeah!!

The day I have dreaded for so long has finally come.
We have a licensed teenage driver in our house!.
((gulp))

And 2 more right behind her!
Step-Daughter (18) now lives with us.
It's wonderful finally having all of the children together under one roof.

The first thing she wanted to do when she got to Texas was get her drivers license.
She passed the test with flying colors and is now on the road.

Workers #1 & #2 will have their licenses this summer too!
Lord help us all!

As much as them driving scares and worries the heck outta me, I have also found out that there are good things about it too!

I no longer have to re-dress at 10pm to run out and pick up a gallon of milk when we are out.
She gladly runs to the feed store when we run out of feed.
She takes her brother to the store when he just HAS to have gum.
She is thrilled to hit the road for any reason!

So....
Parents out there everywhere dreading the day your kids become mobile,
Look at it this way..
  • It's not just one of the more terrifying things to deal with as a parent.
  • It's NOT just another sign your getting older.
  • It's not just a HUGE raise in your insurance premiums.
  • It's not just one more step towards a quiet empty house.

But.... It's less for you to do!

And... You now have POWER!!
  • Don't wanna listen to me? NO CAR!!
  • Gonna talk to me with THAT tone? NO CAR!!
  • Wanna get bad grades?? NO CAR!!
Thats POWER Baby!!

I almost wish I had that power sooner!
Like maybe during during baseball season?
The thought of NOT going to 7 practices a week?
AMAZING!




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Jul 14, 2009

It's a good thing they are pretty! Cause they could NEVER get by on their brains!


I often wonder how they survive at all...
watch the following video... you'll see.


Oh! and by the way...
I know My voice sounds like a frog...
An all night Sing-Star competition with 5 teenagers will do that to ya!
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Jul 10, 2009

Confession.... My Time Spent In Jail.


Yep, I was in jail.

For real jail!
The BIG HOUSE...
The Pokie...
The Slammer...

Black sticky ink smudged on all of your fingertips from the finger-printing...
Metal bed hanging on the green metal wall...
Sink/camode combo thingie sitting in the middle of the cell for everyone to see...
Mugshot of me with raccoon eyes from tear-smeared make-up...
Handcuff marks on my wrists....
Begging for my one phone call....

THAT kind of jail!!

This unfortunate chapter in my life happened when I was 18, so I figure the statute of limitations has kicked in and I can share the ugly details with you without too many negative repercussions.

It all started with.. MY MOTHER!

My mother, during this particular time, was unable to start her day without her perfectly toasted Pepperidge Farms cinnamon-raisin swirl bread coated with the thinnest veneer of fat-free margarine.
There was only one store in our small city that carried Pepperidge Farms bread, and it was way on the other side of town.
So whenever she ran out, I was sent to pick it up.
I was fine with this, because it meant I got to cruise up and down Palmer Highway two times.

Palmer Highway was the main drag in our town.
Everyone who was anyone cruised Palmer Highway.

On this particular day Mom was, once again, out of her beloved Pepperidge Farms cinnamon-raisin swirl bread, milk, and small curd cottage cheese.
So I, being the wonderful and helpful daughter that I am, obediently went to the Kroger's grocery store across town to fetch these much-needed items.

At this point in history, fashion-wise, everyone carried obscenely large straw purse/bag thingies.
The one I carried at the time was much like the one above, but it was woven with rainbow stripes.

This trip to the store was like most trips to the store.
I gathered my items and went to wait in the unusually long express lane.
I was balancing a gallon of milk, a large container of small-curd cottage cheese and the precious loaf of Pepperidge Farms cinnamon-raisin swirl bread.

I waited... the person in line in front of me was taking forever! and of course the checker had to do a price check and the milk carton was slipping!

So, I did what many other people would do. I set the large container of small-curd cottage cheese in the top of my purse.

Now... these straw purse/bag things do not zip closed.
They just hang there open, and the cottage cheese was sitting on the top of my bag... hanging out by at least 4 inches as I continued to wait in line to pay for my goods.
When a man came up to me and asked me to follow him.
I asked why and he called the security guard over too!

Up to the tiny office we went.
I wasn't even sure why I was going there.
To make an even longer story shorter, they were accusing me of stealing cottage cheese???

I was standing in line!
I had the money to pay for it!
I didn't hide the cottage cheese!
I didn't try to leave the store!
I was just saving my freezing hand!

Police were called, handcuffs were involved, as was nice trip "downtown" in the back of a police car.
Fingerprints and mugshots followed, and the crescendo of the event was the slamming of the metal bar doors to my 4x6 foot cell.

Of course my mother was not home OR answering her cell phone when I called her for my lone phone call.
I ended up having to call some guy who I had a first date scheduled with that night to come bail me out.

Oh! on a side-note... did you know that they serve you McDonald's for lunch in the Big House?
Yep, they gave me McDonald's burgers and fries while I did my time.

4 hours later,
Bail was paid,
Doors were unlocked,
Personal belongings were returned,
and I was free.

The following days included dropped charges,
a letter of apology from Krogers and the security company who handles their criminals.
And things went back to normal.

I went on my date.
My mother felt horrible for not answering the phone.
And she has her Pepperidge Farms cinnamon-raisin swirl bread.

But..
To this day, I have never returned to that Krogers store.




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Loaded Baked Potato Salad!

Yummm!
I love Potato Salad!

But this potato salad is a little different than the norm.
It's just like a loaded Baked potato!

Try it!
You'll love it!
A great change!

The Complete recipe and pictures can be found on my cooking site Craving Comfort
Dana's Loaded Baked Potato Salad Recipe
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Jul 9, 2009

White Socks, (Rant of the Day... again!)


OK.... is it only me?
Please tell me it is NOT only me!

I have 5 men/boys living in this house.
Each of those men/boys has two feet.
Each of those feet wear some sort of white sock. (well, they start out white, but that's a whole another rant for another day)
Each man/boy gets 12 pairs of white socks 2 times a year = 240 white socks a year.
There are always some left over from the year before that are still good = 300 white socks.

I always try to buy the same brand of socks so they are easier to match.

Man-of-My-Dreams = Long socks
Worker #1 = kinda short socks, just over the ankle.
Worker #2 = VERY short-so-you-can't-see-em-above-his-shoes socks.
Worker #3 = mid way between the ankle & knee shocks.
Worker #4= doesn't care either way, but most are kinda short.

So, we have approximately 300 white socks for the men-folk of the house.
WHY is it, that I am sitting here after finishing folding and matching socks and I have 23 mismatched white socks?!?!?!?

Seriously... 23!!!
Not one of them is like another one anywhere in the whole stinking pile!!
How many ways are there to make white socks for men/boys?!?!?
They are white socks for cryin out loud!!!
SOCKS!!!!

There should be some council somewhere that regulates the making of white socks.
There should be a few different lengths/styles that come in various sizes.

But 23 totally different white socks???
How is this possible???

Can someone please explain to me why on earth there are so many types of white socks??
Is this a serious need?

Is there some high priced white sock engineer sitting in an office somewhere in front of his drawing board who seriously thinks.. "Hey! The buying public just doesn't have enough styles of white socks to choose from to cover their poor feet. I think I'll design a brand new type of white sock!"???

If there IS indeed a White Sock Council what is their address???
I would LOVE to write them a letter!


ok... I feel better now, Thank you for listening.


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Jul 8, 2009

Gone to the dogs...


Thats whats happened 'round our farm this week.

They are slowly taking over!
There is Guss The Pug Puppy.
Who, while he is the cutest thing on Earth, serves no real purpose on the farm.
He's here for pure entertainment.

Otis the Boston Terrier.
He has taken it upon himself to rid our farm of flies.
I swear he looks possessed when he see's a fly!
He freezes and waits for it to land...
Then POUNCE!!

Oh yeah.... He'll retrieve anything you decide to throw with EXTREME excitement!

Otis is the dog that proved me wrong when I said I didn't like little dogs.
Now I love em!

Two weeks ago, Sampson joined the flock.

Literally! He's a Great Pyrenees and will live in the hen house/yard with the poultry.
Yep! This soon to be HUGE, polar bear like, white dog will grow up thinking he is a bird.
Great Pyrenees are wonderful Livestock guardians.
Protecting the poultry is his job.

This is Cecile.
Cecile is one of our Great Danes, she was born right here on the farm.

Cecile has had a problem.
Cecile doesn't like being alone.
With Sampson the Chicken-Dog living in the hen house.
And Guss and Otis warming feet in our beds.
When Arlo, our other Great Dane died last month, Cecile became depressed.
Cecile became VERY depressed.
She would not eat.
She would not play.
She was mourning.

Nothing we tried could lift her up out of her dark place.
She went from a sweet happy-go-lucky dog to a withering bag of bones.
It was heartbreaking to see.

*Sigh* This is Anna.
Anna came to our house yesterday.
She is half Australian Shepard & half Lab.

Even at her tender 8 week old age, Anna has a job!
Anna is an anti-depressant.
Anna lives with Cecile now.

Cecile ate her first full meal right after Anna moved in!
And our sweet bouncy Great Dane is Back!
Thanks Anna!

Have you ever tried to take a picture of a bouncing 120lb Great Dane?

If not.. prepare for spazzed-out, fuzzy, blobs.
Will try to get some of the Happy Girl pictures today.

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Jul 5, 2009

Glutton for Punishment

Thats what I've been this week-end. I have, by choice, shared the space in our tiny old farmhouse with 7 (count em!! SEVEN) young people.!!

There has been NO escape from the blaring, poorly-played Guitar Hero encores, The thunderous explosions of video games (thank-you Man-of-My-Dreams for installing surround sound in the whole house!), The never-ending bursts of laughter for no apparent reason.

And the food these young people can consume???
You have NO idea!

In the past three days....
  • 40+ Hot Dogs,
  • 4, 16 inch Monster Sub sandwiches,
  • gallons of grape salad,
  • Quarts upon quarts of homemade Ice cream,
  • 24 cup cakes,
  • 4 boxes of cereal,
  • 3 gallons of milk,
  • 1 gallon jar of sour pickles,
  • 32 firecracker chicken legs,
  • 3 family-size bags of chips,
  • 4 quarts of homemade salsa,
  • 7 lbs of ground beef made into smothered hamburger patties,
  • 9 HUGE batches of popcorn,
  • three big bunches of bananas,
  • countless pancakes,
  • 3 dozen eggs,
  • 9 gallons of water,
  • 5 gallons of lemonade,
  • a triple batch of Funky Chicken and Sesame Noodles.
  • a double batch of brownies,
  • 2 veggie trays and dip,
The list goes on and on....
Life as I know it and posting as usual should resume tomorrow....

Oh! and the power went out yesterday (July 4th) for 4 hours!!
4 Hours of 6200 degree Texas heat? The teenage-sweat smell is divine!

Did I mention the Little-Foreman-in-Pink cut off her hair?!?!?
Her LONG strawberry-red curly hair??

Did I mention that, after seeing how cute her "fixed" hair turned out, I decided to cut off my hair too?

And did I mention that the Man-of-My-Dreams doesn't know yet??
This should be interesting...

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Jul 1, 2009

Move over John & Kate plus 8...


What would you think if you got a phone call from the US Government at 5:03am on a Wednesday Morning?
Lots of things ran through my head...

Did I mess up our taxes??
Do I have a traffic ticket I forgot about??
Is someone I know in jail??
Did someone report me for ripping that tag off my mattress??
I was at a loss...


Luckily, it was just the Postmaster from the Post Office, telling me I had a package... .
A very noisy package.
Would I please come get it?...
Right NOW?!
Otis the Boston Terrier was intrigued.
He was suspicious of the noisy box.
He inspected it the second we brought it into the house.

It was the chicks and ducks!
The cute day-old baby chicks and ducklings are here!
Yippee!!

Is there anything cuter than the first baby chicks and ducklings of the season?
I think not!


Guss the Pug puppy has never seen day-old chicks and ducklings..
He thought they looked tasty.
hmmm we'll have to work on that.

More pics soon and I'll introduce you to the three other new critters that have joined out crew this week too!

Yep... that's 63 new additions to our family this week alone!

Busy & interesting times folks....

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