Forward My Mail To Mexico...

Before I make my confession, I want to be sure you know that I try to be a good wife.
I try to be a good mother.
I try to be upfront and truthful.
I try to be an open book.
In my experience, things are just easier that way.
I shouldn't have to spend any of my valuable time running in circles trying to remember who I told what, or who knows what and who doesn't or, more importantly.. who shouldn't know.
Ya know?

Well.. it just doesn't always work out.
My intentions are pure.
But the resulting chaos can be quite major.
OK.. (taking a deep breath).. here we go.

Two years ago, I bought The Man-of-My-Dreams a little truck.
This truck was his "toy" he put a big motor in it with grand plans of taking it to the race track.
It never made it to the track, but it provided countless hours of "play-time" for him.
Then he got the Camaro.
He loves the Camaro,
The Camaro is his other woman.

The truck was soon just sitting there, watching him while he caressed the Camaro.
The truck was sad.

One day, the Man-of-My-Dreams mentioned that he wanted to sell the truck because he never had the time to do anything with it, and then he'd have the extra play money to buy the Camaro a new motor. He really wants a new motor for his "baby".
We half-heartily looked for a buyer but never found one.
That was months and months ago

Fast-forward to this past week.
A man pulls into the driveway and asks me if I'd be willing to sell the truck.
I said.. Sure! He had the cash in hand! right there on the spot!
I ran inside to call the Man-of-My-Dreams at work. (he's still working out of state)
He was in a meeting and could not be disturbed.
So, I asked the man if I could get his phone number and I'd call him as soon as I could talk to him.

Here is where it gets sticky.

The man was leaving town that evening!
He didn't know for sure when he would be able to get back.
Oh MAN! I needed to make a decision on the spot!
Not something I've very good at!

So... I sold the truck.
I was feeling pretty darn good about it too!
Until the big boys came home from school...

When they found out that I sold the truck without asking the Man-of-My-Dreams about it first they began planning my funeral!
Worker #2 said he was gonna make sure he spent the next week-end that The Man-of-My-Dreams was home at a friends house so he would miss the blood-bath!
Worker #1 has decided he would stay here and try to protect me, but I really think he just wants to watch the show.

After hearing their reactions, I began to second-guess my decision.
Will he be mad?
Or will it work out the way I have it pictured in my mind?

~~~ Fade to Dream-Sequence ~~~

The Man-of-My-Dreams walks in the door.
I greet him with a kiss and hand him a fist-full of cash.
"Honey", I'd say.. "You work so hard. I want you to go and buy that shiny new motor for your beloved Camaro, because I love you so much!"
He would be speechless and full of gratitude.
Then I would spend the next 6 months enjoying my new "BEST Wife In The Whole Wide World" status...

~~~ Back to Normal ~~~

Now...
Both Workers #1 & #2 are 16 and have worked to buy their first cars/trucks.
Worker #1 was very excited today, when he bought a cheap little speaker-box for the old stereo in his truck.

He called the Man-of-My-Dreams to tell him all about it.
Of course, the Man-of-My-Dreams told Worker #1 that he could go out and get the expensive stereo and speakers out of his little truck and use them instead.
UGH!
Worker #1 is now upset with me because he missed out on a great sound system all because I sold the truck without telling the Man-of-My-Dreams....

Geesh! Do I know how to dig a hole? or do I know how to dig a hole?!?
It's been nice knowing all of you...
Farewell forever...
Forward my mail to Mexico please!

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Just one more reason why I'm fat....

I've never hidden the fact that I am a "fluffier" gal on this blog,
I mean.. I share every other humiliating detail of my life on here, why not my cottage cheese buns and flappy arms?

Anyway... This isn't something that happened overnight.
I'm pretty darn sure that my children had something to do with it; of course, so did the cream gravy and cheesecake.
But I find it much more acceptable to blame the short people for my fat & saggin' from birthin' all them babies, body!

After I squeezed person #2 out of my nether regions, I noticed I was starting to get some extra baggage that didn't disappear when the little darling arrived.
I decided I needed to do something about it before the fat cells decided to invite more friends for a permanent party on my thighs.

I joined a gym.

Well, "They" called it a gym.
The contract I signed locking me into paying a gazillion dollars had the words "gym" on the top if it. The super-buff cute guy who showed me around called it a "gym" and seemed happy to see me.

I bought some cute workout shorts and wore one of my husbands T-shirts. And I was off to work out. I was ready to sweat; my hair was pulled up into a ponytail; I had a bright pink bandanna around my head to catch the hard-earned sweat I knew would soon pour off me. I went inside the "gym".

Things were going fine, I was making myself familiar with all of the gym equipment. I was even beginning to sweat! Whoo Hoo! I was making progress!
As I sat on the thigh-worker-outer-machine, I began to look around.

There were a lot of people there! They were all working out, and standing around talking.
The more I looked, the more I realized that these people were different than me. The men were all buff and beautiful, wearing their little tank-tops, perfectly tan, rippling with raw muscle and power.
WOW!, I thought to myself, this gym has some very handsome men!
And I pulled my t-shirt a bit lower in an attempt to conceal my big butt.

Then I noticed the women.
They all looked like they just walked out of a Workout Barbie box!
Each one had their makeup perfectly applied, not a hair was out of place, each waist was smaller than the last. Obviously none of these alien women have never carried a whole person around in her abdomen for 9 months! Their "workout clothes" covered less than most bikinis!!
There was no sweat!
There were no groans of pain from working so hard.
They were all just perfect models flirting with all of the men!

I sat there realizing how out of place I was, wishing I could just disappear and find a large bowl of ice cream.
My hot pink bandanna was dripping with sweat; my husbands t-shirt was wet; I couldn't decide if the bright red color on my face was from physical activity or from embarrassment.

No! I wasn't gonna let the fact that this place was more of a beautiful person pickup joint than a gym make me give up on my goals! Not to mention the fact that I was locked into a contract for the next 5 years!

I decided to try out the treadmill. There were a ton of them in a line, it would be easy to blend into my surroundings. Anything had to be better than sitting on the thigh machine and letting it force my knees way too widely apart!

I walked over to treadmill row.
But they were all occupied by tan, firm, perky, cheerleaders.
I decided it was time to leave. As I went to turn to walk out of the door, one of the pep squad divas left her treadmill. This was my chance! I was going to finish my workout no matter what!

I casually walked over to the treadmill.
I stepped onto it quietly so I would not attract any attention from the "perfect people".

The next thing I knew I felt an excruciating pain in my head.
My arm hurt, my leg hurt, my butt hurt!!
I opened my eyes to see 7 big and beautiful buff men trying to untangle me from a StairMaster machine!
But... but.. the row of StairMasters were behind me!?

Apparently, it is common practice at the pickup gym to check and make sure the treadmill is actually turned off before you step onto the 8-mile-an-hour spinning belt!

I never went back.
And, yep... I'm still fat!

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Quesadilla Burgers. (including a "lite" version!)

I came up with this dish one night when the young-men-folk wanted hamburgers for dinner and I found myself with no buns.
They Have quickly become a favorite at our house!
Quesadilla Burgers are a wonderful way to spice up the normal hamburger.

Dana's Quesadilla Burgers

• Ground Beef, seasoned with salt, pepper, cumin (whatever you like!)
  
• Salsa
• Flour Tortillas
• Cheese, shredded (I like a cheddar or Mexican blend)
• Purple onions, bell peppers and garlic, sauteed
• Black olives, sliced (optional)
  
• Cooking Spray
  
• Guacamole & Sour Cream for toppings.

- Season your ground beef with desired seasonings.
- Shape into large thin patties.
- You want the finished patties to be approx the same size as your tortillas.
- Grill the patties to desired doneness, set aside.

- Heat a large skillet, (I use my electric griddle so I can cook more at once).
- Lightly spray one side of a tortilla with cooking spray.
- Place (spray-side down) into the hot pan.
- Apply approx 2 tablespoons of salsa on the tortilla.
- Add one cooked ground beef patty.
- Top with sauteed onions & peppers.
- Sprinkle with cheese
- add black olives (if desired)
- Another Tablespoon or so of salsa.
- Top with another flour tortilla. Spray lightly with cooking spray.

- Allow to cook until the bottom tortilla is crisp and lightly browned.
- Carefully flip with a large spatula, continue cooking until crisp and browned.

- Remove from pan, cut into wedges.
- serve with a dollop of sour cream and guacamole.
- Enjoy!!


** The Quesadilla Burgers pictured were made to fit into my diet!
I have managed to lose 22.5 lbs since December 11.
I am NOT doing it by suffering through bland "diet" foods.
I'm just making some changes to my favorite dishes, so I can enjoy them with my family.
Well... that and reducing my portion size.

Dana's "lite" quesadilla burgers

Made the exact same as above... Except-

• I used 93%/7% very lean beef.
• Fat Free, Low Carb, whole wheat tortillas.
• only 1 & 1/2 Tablespoons of low-fat, finely shredded Extra Sharp cheddar cheese.
• No Sour Cream (I really really don't like the fat-free stuff... bleck!)
  
• I didn't use any cooking spray, because my electric griddle has a non-stick coating and worked just fine!

Nope.. It is not the perfect "Diet" food.
BUT.. I am losing weight ONLY because I am not depriving myself of the things I enjoy!
I'm just modifying them a tad.
I know from past experience, that when I deprive myself of the foods I enjoy.. I FAIL!

Either way you make em... They are Delicious!

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Spicy-Sweet-Roasted Sweet Potatoes

We have never been a family to eat many sweet potatoes.
Yes.. I know they are jam-packed with nutrients.
Yes.. I know everyone says they are yummy.
Unless it was Thanksgiving, we just never made them.
So, of course the men-folk in the house swear they hate them.

Until last night!
These Spicy Sweet Potatoes are wonderful!
They are easy to make!
And, even die-hard sweet potato haters will devour them!
Mine sure did.


Dana's Spicy-Sweet
Roasted Sweet Potatoes

• 3 large sweet potatoes
• 2 - 3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
• 2 Tablespoons brown sugar
  
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (more or less to taste)

1. Peel the sweet potatoes, cut into approx 1 inch cubes. (this will give you approx 6 cups of potato cubes) Place in a large bowl.
2. Add the remaining ingredients to the bowl and toss to coat evenly.
   
3. Pour coated sweet potato cubes onto a greased baking sheet.
4. Bake, uncovered at 400 degrees F for 40 - 45 min. Stirring every 15 minutes.
5. Enjoy!
   

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This World Wide Web thing may be a keeper!

Yes, I think that this Internet thing might stick around for awhile.
I like it.
Not every new fad that comes out catches on.
Lots of things that we thought were gonna be great were major flubs!
Like, Clear Pepsi, Emu & Ostrich meat, BETA movies, and Asbestos.

The World Wide Web is proving itself as a useful tool.
I can shop online and find things that are not available at the mom & pop stores out here in the boonies.
I can search and find great recipes that I may have never been exposed to any other way.

Yesterday The Internet Proved its worthiness to me.
I was on some social networking page, FaceSpace, or MyBook, something like that and I was able to find a dear dear friend from my past!

We'll call him Donnie.

Donnie lived next door.
Donnie was my best friend.
Donnie and I were like peas and carrots.
But we lost touch when I moved to Texas.
There has not been a week when I didn't think of him and wonder where he was.

After finding each other
We had a wonderful long phone call.
We have one of those special relationships where we can go 11 years without talking, pick up the phone and it's just like we never missed a beat.
Our phone call was a wonderful walk down memory lane...
We laughed about our past.

He was my first Boyfriend.
He was the first boy I french kissed, then he told me I did it wrong!
We spent countless hours playing flashlight tag.
We would walk and talk for hours.
We would sneak late at night and watch "Talk Sex with Dr. Ruth" on the TV when my parents were sleeping.
He trusted me enough to let me put make-up on him once. I used an old bright blue Mary Kay eyeshadow that you had to wet to apply, and he believed me when I told him it was permanent and would never wash off.
Together we spent hours and hours digging through an old abandoned barn to "rescue" wild kittens. (I still have the scars to prove it!)
We shared chemical burns to our eyes and noses when we tried to make cinnamon hard candy for Christmas.

He was my rock when my brother Dan was killed.
His shoulder was the only shoulder that could comfort me when my heart was broken by random boys.
I think I knew he was gay before he did (but I didn't tell him that at the time)
He knew all my secrets and I knew his.
Finding Donnie has filled a hole in my heart that could only be filled by him.

So, I am endorsing this thing they call the internet.
It's a good thing!

I think we should keep it.

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Once Upon a Time... (or last week)

A woman walked into a fancy meeting room, in the big city, to meet with some important business women who want to talk to her about writing for their very well-known publication.

She was excited because this may just mean that her writing in her silly little blog might actually lead to an actual "career" and be seen as something other than "Silly & Little".

She wore a nice looking pantsuit.
She had her hair done professionally for the first time in years.
Her make up was beautifully applied.
Her tasteful earrings matched her dainty necklace.
Her shoes matched her bag.

She walked with purpose .
She held her head up high.
She looked them straight in the eyes.
She spoke with knowledge and eloquence.
She used a firm handshake.

She left the meeting feeling confident.
She drove home and was happy.
She felt as if she had accomplished something great.
She glanced into the rear view mirror, and smiled.

She walked in the door of her homestead.
Took off her suit jacket.
Only then, to see the huge dried stripe of white and green chicken poop running down the back.

**sigh**

She should have stayed on the farm!

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Spring Rolls... MY Way.

Spring Rolls?? you ask.
Yep. Spring Rolls.
I love spring rolls.But, lets face it. Living out in the boonies, there are no spring rolls. If it isn't covered in BBQ sauce, Cream Gravy, Beer batter, or catchup, you ain't gonna find it.
Unless... You make it yourself.

The problem is.
I've never made spring rolls.
I mean, I've only been somewhere I could order them twice in my adult life!

So I set out to find the ingredients I needed to make my spring rolls.
I went to the three stores within 30 minutes of the farm.
I was able to find everything I needed EXCEPT the rice paper that makes a spring roll a spring roll!
I searched online and found out that the shipping on rice paper spring roll wrappers would end up costing me more than the wrappers themselves! grrrr

Luckily my Mother and my sister live in Houston.
Houston has Asian markets.
For Christmas they brought me a big supply of spring roll wrappers! yippee!

Today was the day I dove in and made spring rolls.

Let's make some spring rolls!

I gathered my Shrimp, Avocado, Rice noodles, Carrots, Spinach, Chives, and Cilantro.
And cut them to the appropriate sizes. (small and slender)
I found the rice noodles at my local grocery store. So the directions were clear. Soak them in hot water for about 10 minutes and let them soften. Easy.

Then came the rice paper wrappers....
You know.. the ones that Mom and Sis bought me at the Asian market?
Ummm did you know that rice paper wrappers bought at an Asian market do not have directions on the package in English?? oops!

So, I treated them just like I did the rice noodles and stuck them in a bowl of warm water.
After about 5 minutes, I checked them...
They were total mush!!! uh oh!

I tried again, and found out they only have to sit in the warm water for about 10 seconds!
Then they are super soft and stretchy and rippable.
I went through several before I got my first spring roll wrapped.

I laid the softened wrapper onto the table,
On one side I stacked some baby spinach leaves, carrot shreds, avocado slices, then topped the stack with some rice noodles.
Then in the center of the wrapper, I laid three cilantro leaves, and three sliced shrimp.

I folded the sides in towards the center, making sure they overlapped and stuck to each other.
I started wrapping the roll over the spinach stack and continued to tightly roll it over the shrimp stack, and stuck in a few chives as I went.

One thing I learned was that the wrapper sticks to itself, and this helps keep it together as you roll.
I ate them with Soy Sauce and Peanut Sauce. Yum!
I think they turned out great for my first attempt!
I had a wonderful lunch.
Step out of your comfort zone.
Make something that you have never made before!
It's fun and you may just surprise yourself!

We'll see what the kids think of them tonight.

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What I've been Living on this week.

I've been doing the diet thing. **sigh**
And one thing I always miss when I'm being a good-girl is
Rich & Creamy things.
You know... Butter, cheese, mayonnaise.
The good fattening stuff!

Well, this time around I have found a way to satisfy those cravings!!
The wonderful avocado!

I use them in sandwiches, burgers, salads, you name it!
When I stick half of a mashed up avocado on a burger I don't miss the cheese, I don't miss the Mayo. It's working great!
Yes they have fat, but it's the good fat, so I'll take it!

This salad has been my lunchtime staple this week,
You can throw it together in 5 minutes.
It's yummy and feels naughty!

Dana's Simple Avocado Salad

One ripe avocado (cubed)
One handful of sweet Grape Tomatoes, (cut in half)
A few tablespoons of diced purple onion
A splash of lime juice
salt & pepper to taste.

Mix all ingredients up and enjoy!

Try adding some shrimp!
Try adding some fresh mint!
Try adding some cilantro!
whatever suits your fancy!

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Salad Shells, salad you eat with your hands!

I first made this salad when I was catering my sister-in-laws baby shower.
The foods were all finger foods, I had cheese balls, fruit and dip, a veggie tray, spinach dip with bread, sweets, lots of yummy foods..
But something was missing.
We needed a salad dish.

I love salads.
I especially love pasta salad!
How do you make a salad into finger food?
Instead of pasta salad....

I decided to make a salad IN pasta!

It turned out great!
It makes a wonderful presentation.
And now this is a salad I make often.

It takes a little more work than a "normal" salad.
But it is worth it and no one will forget this salad!

Dana's Salad Shells.

This is more of a technique than a recipe.
Start with a box of large pasta shells. (the ones made for stuffing)
Cook the shells per package instructions, DO NOT OVER-COOK!!

As soon as the shells are done cooking, remove them from the boiling water into an ice-water bath, to quickly cool them and halt the cooking process.

While the shells cool, make your salad.
You can put anything you want into the salad, but all of the ingredients must be shopped into very small pieces, this way you can really stuff the shells.

I used
finely shredded lettuce,
salami,
diced cucumbers,
diced tomato,
thinly sliced green onion,
Shredded cheese.

You can use any dressing you choose.
I like to use a creamy garlic Italian.

Toss the dressing with your salad ingredients.

Remove shells from ice water, and set on a towel to dry slightly.
Stuff each shell with a handful of salad.

Place your stuffed shells into a shallow baking dish and refrigerate at least 1 hour to meld flavors.
Serve these to your guests at your next party and be prepared for oooh's and ahhh's!

Tips...
Try stuffing shells with, Seafood Salad, Tuna Salad, Avocado salad, or chicken salad... the possibilities are endless!

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Ok Mom's... I need your input.

I have bitched, whined, complained, cried, sobbed, told you about my eldest son who is 16 and the fact that he is in "Love", he has a serious girlfriend. They have been "going together" for about 10 months now. And in teen relationship years that equals longer than most marriages.

They have discussed what is gonna happen when they go to college, they have talked about the kind of wedding they want, the style of house they want to live in, the names of their children, all of the fun dreams that you talk about when you are young and in love.

They spend a great deal of their time together at our house. They are 16, this means that they do not get much alone time. I figure that they have enough temptations to deal with, I'm not gonna make it easier on them to find moments of weakness.
They are both great kids. They both have said they are not ready for sex and plan on waiting. But I was 16 once too. I know how easy it is for things to go too far. They are rarely, if ever, alone.
They are cuddly, they snuggle beside eachother on the couch and sneak a kiss or two... that kind of thing.

I am beginning to find myself uncomfortable at times being in the same room with the two lovebirds.
And they are getting a little too comfortable expressing themselves in front of me.
Hubby says Holding hands should be it.. anything more is disrespectful to do in front of me.
I say a little is ok.. but Don't get carried away, I am the mother, not the buddy.

My question to you parents....
How much physical affection is ok with you?
I'm not talking about the rules you have set for what is acceptable and what is not..
I'm talking about what is ok in front of you?
Holding hands? kissing? hugging?
Where do you draw the line?

Inquiring minds wanna know.....

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Fudge Crinkles. Quite possibly the easiest cookie ever!

I almost forgot about these little gems!
Believe it or not, there are only 4 ingredients in this recipe!
These cookies have been around forever, I'm not sure where the original recipe comes from.

They are so yummy!
And, I'd be willing to bet you have everything you need to make them in your pantry right now!

This recipe has saved my behind more than once when a kid remembers at the very last moment that they needed to bring a snack for the class at school.
You can throw them together in under 10 minutes!

Fudge Crinkles

1 (18 1/4 ounce) box devil's food cake mix
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs
confectioners' sugar for rolling

1. Preheat oven to 350°
2. Stir dry cake mix, oil and eggs in a large bowl until dough forms.
3. Dust hands with confectioners' sugar and shape dough into 1" balls.
4. Roll balls in confectioners' sugar and place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.
5. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until center is JUST SET.
6. Remove from pans after a minute or so and cool on wire racks.
7. Enjoy!!
   

Oh!! I so almost forgot!!
The Winner from the "A Mystery.. What IS THIS???" contest is......

"Cassee in freezing Iowa" Please e-mail me at Dana@HomesteadingHousewife.com to claim your little bity prize.

And.... Yup... the poor thing was once a yummy Cinnamon Roll.

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She Asked for a Rainbow...

So thats what she got!
Usually she asks for a strawberry cake.
Then she wanted to make a watermelon pie..... with cheese! ugh!
So, when she asked for a rainbow cake I had to figure something out!


Yes, I could have done the store bought swirly rainbow cake mix...
But what fun is that?

Instead I used a good old white cake recipe.
Split up the batter,
Added obscene amounts of food coloring to each little bowl.
Poured the multi-colored batter into the prepared pans one at a time layering it.

"Groovy Man!"

And baked it right on up!
I frosted it with plain white frosting, so she has no idea what it looked like inside.
When we sliced into it she was thrilled!

Bake a rainbow!!
You'll be glad you did!
Or... at the very least you can have a flashback to your "Hippie days".
(My 16 yr old boys called it the Bob Marley cake! )

***TIP (thanks for reminding me Shelby!!) I did reduce the liquid in the original white cake recipe by a scant 1/4 of a cup to compensate for all the food coloring! ***

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A Mystery.. What IS THIS???

As you know by now, I cook.
I cook a really lot!
Thats why I find this mystery so disturbing.

The past several times I used my oven, I noticed that it was smoking slightly.
Each time, I would remember.. "Oh! something spilled in the bottom of the oven, I need to clean it tomorrow."
Well I never remembered until I would heat the oven up again and would smell a faint smoke smell.

Last night we had tacos for dinner.
I crisp my taco shells by hanging them on the wire racks in my oven, It works great and they just hang there! They do not go flat like on a cookie sheet and I can cook a TON at once.

Anyway...
I pulled out the top oven rack to begin inverting my taco shells.
Sitting on the back of my top oven rack, I found THIS!

The boys think it kinda looks like a pile of cow poop.
It is now a nice crispy charcoal lump.
I know what it is.
and I am ashamed to admit that It originally made it's way into the oven on Christmas morning.

So.... my wise internet friends?
What did I find in my oven?
I'll figure out some silly little insignificant prize for the winner.

(I'll randomly choose a name out of the correct guesses Sunday evening.)

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Homemade Taco Seasoning. Ole!

My family loves Mexican Night!
Tostadas, Hard Tacos, Nachos, Soft Tacos, Burritos, we love em all!

You have no idea how many times I have been making Tacos only to realize I didn't have one of those packages of taco seasoning! Grrrrrr
I'd have to stop what I was doing and run to the store!

Until Now!

Dana's Homemade Taco Seasoning.

• 2 teaspoons dehydrated onion, Minced
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon dried red pepper, Crushed (Or more to taste)
  
• 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon cornstarch
• 1 teaspoon instant garlic, Minced
• 1 teaspoon cumin, Ground

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and blend well.
   
2. Store in an air-tight container or baggie until ready to use.

To make Taco Meat Filling.

1. Brown 1 lb lean ground beef over medium-high heat- drain. (I like to toss in some diced Bell Pepper now too)
   
2. Add 1/2 cup water and the seasoning mix.
3. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
4. Makes enough filling for 8 to 10 tacos.
5. Enjoy!!
   

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Memories are Funny Things.

I find it funny, the things that I remember, and the things I forget.
It doesn't really make sense.

Yes, there are the little things.
Forgetting where I put my keys.
Forgetting that I scheduled a doctors appointment three weeks ago for this morning.
Forgetting to pick up a gallon of milk on my way home.
Forgetting to get something out of the freezer for dinner that night.
The little things.

But there are big things that , over time I have forgotten.
I don't remember the first time I drove a car.
I don't remember the first time I kissed a boy.
I don't remember the first time I flew in an airplane.
I don't remember the details of my first broken heart.
I don't remember what my father said to me the night he moved out of our house.
I don't remember the last words spoken to my father many years later.
I don't remember the name of my best friend in elementary school.

But there are many seemingly insignificant little details that are stuck in my mind as if it happened yesterday.

Things from 23 years ago today.

I remember my big brother, Dan, leaving for his nightly walk and saying. "I'll be back later" then popping his head back in the door and jokingly saying..."Or.. maybe I won't.".

I remember the exact words I used when I called my friend Tara, "I don't know if you pray or not, but if you do, please pray for Dan. He was just hit by a car."

I remember the blue maternity dress covered with little yellow & pink flowers that my youth pastors wife, Ms. Renee, wore when she came to stay with me at my house.

I remember that it was exactly 2:08am when my grandmother finally called with an update from the hospital.

I remember the cassette tape that was still in his Walkman and the exact words my mother said to me when I excitedly told her that it was not that broken because the radio still worked. She said... "But Honey, Dan is."

I remember the burgundy sweater that I was wearing when my mother and grandparents returned from the hospital to tell me that Dan was gone.

I remember the first casserole that Mrs. Kearney brought over... it was chicken and noodles with carrots that were too big and too mushy.

I remember the beautiful scent of the three perfect purple Hyacinths that my school sent to me when they heard the news.

I remember the overpowering cologne that the man from the funeral home wore.

I remember sitting in his room and realizing that it smelled like him.

I remember the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw my grandfather cry for the first time in my life.

I remember the laughter though the tears when we remembered that he was buried wearing his new watch, and that it would beep every day for the next 12 years at noon and may freak some unsuspecting cemetery maintenance man out.

I remember how blue his eyes were.

I remember thinking he was the strongest and smartest big brother in the world.

I remember his mischievous grin and the twinkle in his eye.

I remember our long walks, car rides, and conversations.


There are still BIG things I do NOT remember.

I can Not remember his voice.

I can not remember the last words spoken between us.

I can not remember the last comforting hug.

I can not remember the last "I love you."

I can not remember our last fight.

I can not remember the last cross words.

Isn't it funny? The things that "stick" and the things that don't?

23 years ago my life changed forever.

I am lucky that I was raised with such a great big brother.
But my heart aches every day because my children will never know what a wonderful man they would have had for an uncle.

It's just so strange how so many details of that time are crystal clear and how so many of them seem just out of my reach.

The mind is a very funny thing.

I remember...

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Dried-Up, Wrinkled & Shriveled . Yum!

When you cook a lot of food, you often end up with a lot of waste.
It's just the nature of the beast.
A few left-over carrots from a salad.
A half of a tomato from that burger.
A handful of spinach from that stuffed chicken.
One stalk of celery from your dressing.

It ends up tossed in the fridge never to be seen again, until it is an unidentifiable gooey mess that you ultimately toss out into the trash or compost.
It doesn't seem like that big of a deal does it?
But think about it...
Over the course of a month, a year, a lifetime. Thats a LOT of waste of perfectly good fruit and veggies!

I used to just toss the veggie remnants into a freezer bag and collect them until I had a good sized bunch and make a big pot of soup.
This worked great!
But... I do a LOT of batch cooking and my freezer space is very valuable to me.
So, I decided I was going to figure out another way to save these odds-n-ends to use later with out using up freezer space.

Enter my trusty dehydrator!
You know.. that one you bought when you watched that infomercial at 3 am that night you couldn't sleep and just knew you'd make tons and tons of beef jerky to lure the Man-of-Your-Dreams into your awaiting arms because of your beef mastery? Yeah.. that one.

Got a few leftover carrots? Slice em up and toss em in the trusty dehydrator!
Store them in a jar and use them in any soup or stew!
They rehydrate great! As you can see, I didn't even bother to peel these!

Or, my favorite, I call a "soup mix" it's nothing more than some diced carrots, spinach leaves, celery, onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, peas... anything!

I add to my "Soup Mix" jar consistently, then toss a handful (or more) of it into stews, soups, even meatloaf and spaghetti sauce! (AWESOME way to sneak some veggies in on those picky kids!)
You name it.... it can go right into the pot!
I even sprinkle it on the top of a pot roast.... it makes a great topping and the veggies rehydrate as you cook! How easy is that?!?

When you dehydrate things they shrink so much and are so light and easy to store that you will be shocked!
I dehydrated 8 entire bunches of celery, and it filled ONE quart jar! (celery is a great substitute for salt too!)

Don't even get me started on how many dehydrated blueberries I have on hand!
Soak these babies in some warm water to rehydrate, they you have blueberry pancakes, blueberry muffins, scones, cookies, you name it!

Dehydrated fruits are GREAT to toss in to oatmeal.

I have to use a electric dehydrator. (I bought the BIG Kahuna of dehydrators after I killed my second $19.99 special, I use it THAT much!)
But some of you might be lucky enough to live in a low-humidity area and can just set your veggies on a wire screen in the sun to get em good and crispy.

Try it!
You'll be glad you did!

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...And she ASKED me to babysit!

Hello, internets! My loving sister has handed over her blog today…

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Dana’s younger sister – the spoiled rotten, “city girl”, little sister – who has annoyed Dana for twenty-seven long years. Since I’m living her life in every other way this weekend while she’s away with the Man-of-Her-Dreams, I figured I should also write a post on her blog!

And what to write about?! There are so many things I could share:

• I could self-deprecatingly talk about my disdain for the country (and the many other ways I will NEVER live like my sister).
  
  
• I could detail my weekend as the “country girl”.
  
  
• I could explain why 4 nephews and 1 niece are the best birth control money can’t buy.
  
  
• I could praise my sister for her stellar recipes (yay for batch cooking – no eating out for us this weekend).
  
  
• I could mock my sister for her parenting, wifing (is that a word?), homesteading, lack of grammar skills, not liking the city, her love of rubber chickens and Barry Manilow… there are too many to name.
  
  
• I could discuss how I was the worst sister ever, especially to a sister who was trying SO hard to be cool while growing up.

Instead, I’m going to share some of the many reasons I’m nervous to have my own children… because Dana’s going to pay me back for the many awful things I have done to HER children as their aunt. Heh heh heh… Love ya, sis!

1. So this weekend I’ve been watching Workers #1 & #2 and the Little-Foreman-in-Pink while Dana spends the weekend in ManTown. This afternoon, we headed for the park to play on the swings, and somehow the suggestion that the boys ride home in the trunk of my car was introduced.
   
   **Important! While I have vowed the boys to secrecy about the events of this weekend, I’m sharing them with you. You DO promise not to tell my sister, right? RIGHT??!?!?
   
   While I nixed riding home in the trunk, I decided it was harmless to let them ride around the parking lot. I mean, WHAT harm could come to them?
   
   Oh, don’t worry – no harm came to either of them, though I’m sure they were disappointed about that. (The Little-Foreman-in-Pink was buckled in her seat IN the car the entire time, btw.)
   
   But after many donuts in either direction, peeling out, and slamming on the brakes, I very nearly had vomit in my trunk. And they quickly determined that I’m the best aunt in the world EVER! A verdict I don’t think Dana will share, I’m afraid.
   
   
2. Uh, could I just say there have been a lot of other car incidents? Letting the kids drive from my lap when they were 5, driving by themselves at 8, hanging Worker #1 out the window as I drove full speed down the street, all kids holding on for dear life while riding on my Jeep’s running board (in a parking lot)… um, I’m not claiming any others.
   
   Note: I WAS threatened with certain death each time one of these events occurred. I definitely have learned the errors of my ways... but it sure was fun. :o) And I was a teenager - making the same mistakes at the same time as they were. (And maybe they won't be so stupid on their own if they can be stupid with their aunt?? C'mon, I'm trying to find SOME redeeming quality in my actions!)
   
   
3. Babysitting when the first broken bone happened. ‘Nough said.
   
   (Check out a recent post on www.badmothersanonymous.com. I’m sure you can guess which one’s mine.)
   
   
4. About five years ago, I tried to teach Worker #1 how to pump gas. He’s still not allowed to pump gas, and he’s about to get his own car! (Picture a VERY peeved aunt covered in gasoline…)
   
   
5. As with any self-respecting aunt, I claim many a noisy and messy Christmas present. My favorite? The bathtub crayons that taught the Little-Foreman-in-Pink it was okay to write on the walls. Whoops.
   
   I’ve also gotten all four boys addicted to iPods... now all I have to do now is teach them that Mac products are SUPERIOR, of course.
   
   
6. And I admit that I was immature (just see #2 if you question that), especially since I’m only 11 years older that Workers # 1 & #2. I taught them both it was funny to open your mouth when you had an entire mouthful of half-masticated food and gross everyone out. AND that it was perfectly polite to burp at any time... as long as you said “Excuse me” afterwards.

In my defense, there are several things that I have NOT taken part in when it comes to the kids:

1. Their first alcoholic beverages (and I am NOT saying they HAVE experienced this one, btw).
   
   
2. Teaching them curse words – growing up in the boonies has taught them all they need to know!
   
   
3. Encouraging farting contests – those boys did that all on their own.

I’m sure there are many other reasons I am doomed as a parent to Dana’s nieces and nephews, and I’m sure that Dana will list them in detail later.

But I promise, all these things were done in an attempt to be a cool aunt. With a tiny bit of desire to torment my older sister added in. :o)

...And remember - she asked ME to watch her kids this weekend! So obviously I'm not all bad, no matter how I try to retain some "street cred" as a freakin' awesome aunt.

Love -

Bethany
Dana's spoiled-rotten, "city girl", little sister

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Trauma in The School Pick-Up Line.

I have never pretended to be a perfect mother.
I'm nowhere close!

• There are nights when I forget to tell my young'ins to brush their teeth.
• There have been a few nights that I let them eat ice cream or cold cereal for dinner.
• There was that one time I left and went to the store, forgetting that one of the little ones was home sick from school and sleeping in bed.
• I let my 13 yr old watch rated R movies with me.
• When my 8 yr old told me he didn't feel good, I sent him to school telling him he was "just fine" only to have the school nurse call me 2 hours later and tell me that he had a temperature of 102.
• I do NOT volunteer to do the class parties.
• I am NOT a member of the PTA.
• And I let my kids ride the bus to school.
  

Yep, I am not one of those moms who willingly drives her 5 kids to 4 different schools.
I kiss them goodbye and send em out the door to wait for the big yellow school bus, quickly locking the door behind them just in case they try to come back in.

Yesterday was the first day in years that I went to pick one of them up from school at the end of the day.

I pulled into the parking lot 20 minutes before school was to end to wait in line.
There is one long sidewalk that runs in front of the school.
I was lucky because there was just enough room left for me to park at the end of the line of parents waiting to pick up their darlings.
I pulled into line.
I noticed that there were some other parents waiting in the parking lot in a line too.
I rolled down my window.
Turned on my music.

When I looked around I saw some lady, who I have never seen before in my life, waving at me.
I smiled and waved back, only then to notice that she was NOT waving... she was shooting me the bird! Yes... she was sitting there glaring and waving her bony middle finger at me!
I turned away in shock.
I figured that maybe she thought I was someone else.. and never looked back at her again.

I sat in my car for the next 15 minutes or so, waiting for worker #4 to emerge from the school building.
When the children finally came bounding out of the big front doors, I watched the teachers go from car to car getting the name of the student that they were waiting to pick up.
They would shout each child's name over a very LOUD bullhorn, and the kid would break from the pack and make a mad dash to their awaiting vehicle.

Then one very official and slightly perturbed looking woman came out of the front door.
She marched past the 13 cars in front of me in line and came directly to my passenger side door.
I rolled down the window, smiled and told her the name of my short person that I had been waiting for.

"Did you just cut in line in front of all these people?" she snapped

"Um, I don't think so, I just pulled in behind the last car in line and have been sitting here for 20 minutes." I responded.
I was taken aback with her tone, and suddenly felt like I was one of those little kids sitting on the front stoop of the school waiting for their parents. I was being scolded and questioned.

"THAT car in front of you is on the red line!!" She exclaimed.

"Ummm ok.. is that a bad thing?" I asked

"YES it's a bad thing! when the last car in that line is at the red line, you are Supposed to turn left and snake your way around the parking lot!! YOU just cut all of those people!! You are cutting in line!!!" she explained while waving her arms around so everyone knew she was yelling at me.

"I'm sorry, this is my first time picking my son up and I didn't know the rules." I explained.

"The first week of school you signed the student handbook didn't you??? When you signed it you stated that you read it and understood it's contents!!" she lectured.

"Yes I signed it. I guess I missed that part. I'm sorry."

"Well... Don't let it happen again!! All of the other parents in line are calling me in the office and complaining about you being a line cutter!!!". then she stomped off.

Ok... So let me get this straight...
I sat in the pick-up line for 20 minutes.
There were several other parents waiting in their cars too.
They wait there every day for their child and they had never seen my mud-covered Suburban before, they knew I was new.
If I was doing something that made them mad, Why didn't someone toot their horn, and holler... YOUR DOING IT WRONG!! or YOU ARE CUTTING!!
Instead.. they called the office and TOLD on me??
Parents, adults called and told on me!!

I didn't know if I should me angry or laugh at these people or feel sorry for them because this is such a big deal in their lives.

I certainly hope that worker #4 enjoyed the ride home, because his little butt will be on the bus for the rest of his life!!

***Stay tuned for tomorrows post... a Guest post from my Spoiled Rotten City Girl little sister, Bethany!***
She is living my life and watching my kids and the farm while I ran away to spend some adult alone time with the Man-of-My-Dreams this week-end... She may have some things to get off of her chest by the end of her time there.

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I need your help. And I need you not to laugh!

It's been said that I am a little bit strange.
My boys Some have said I'm a dork.
I like to think I'm quirky.
Quirky sounds fun-loving and kinda cute. So yep, Quirky it is.

Anyway... I sing.
No, you don't understand... I sing a LOT.
I sing to wake up my darling young-folk. (this may be why they are so grumpy in the mornings)
I sing in the shower.
I sing in the car.
You just never know when or where I'll randomly break into song.

This would not be anything strange if I had a pleasant singing voice, But alas.. I was not blessed with good pipes.
The evil Worker #1 actually recorded me yesterday morning and told me that I should let you hear it and see if you agree with them that my singing to wake them up from their peaceful slumber could be considered child abuse. (the ungrateful little turd!)
You can here my cheerful waking up routine below. (If you dare)



That wasn't so bad now was it??
I, for one, would love to be wakened with such a melodious greeting!
ThankYouVeryMuch!

Anyway... the Little-Foreman-in-Pink has inherited my ability to turn any occasion into an opera.
She sings all the time! So, I have been trying to remember all of my childhood songs and teaching them to her.
I am at a loss...
I know that there are lots I have forgotten...

Here is our repertoire so far...

I'm A Little Teapot
The Farmer In The Dell
Mary Had A Little Lamb
On Top Of Spaghetti
Three Blind Mice
Only A Boy Named David
Jesus Loves Me
The Itsy Bitsy Spider
Hickory Dickory Dock
I love You, You Love Me
Old McDonald Had a Farm
B-I-N-G-O
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
the ABC song
10 Little Indians
Do Your Ears Hang Low
Baby Bumble Bee
Ive Been Workin On The Railroad
The Wheels On The Bus
This Old Man

What were some of your favorite childhood songs that I forgot?

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Individual Pizza Meatloaves (Batch Cooking)

What do YOU do when you have an extra 12lbs of ground beef laying around?
Me? I make meatloaves & meatballs!

I make LOTS of Meatloaves!

Mountains of Meatloaves!

Today was Meatloaf Day
Pizza Meatloaves to be exact.

Individual-sized Pizza Meatloaves.
umm.. YUM!

These Pizza meatloaves are not your average meatloaves.
They are moist and tender.
Delicious!

This is a rather large recipe.
It is easy to cut in half but it's also easy to double, or even triple!
Today I tripled it.
Yep.. I made 26 meatloaves!

They are now safely tucked into the freezer and will provide my family with several hot, home-made meals in the coming months.
Also, they are perfect for the Man-of-My-Dreams who is still working out of town.
He can have them in his freezer and get a home cooked meal no matter how far away he is.
Not to mention those nights when you just don't feel like cooking....
Your covered! by your own food! not greasy, expensive, unhealthy drive-thru food....
A real honest-to-goodness Homemade meal!

Here we go...

Dana's Individual Pizza Meatloaves.
With Options!

Ingredients

• 4lbs lean ground beef
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 bell pepper, chopped
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 16 oz Pizza Sauce. (from a jar or homemade)
• 6 slices bread , crumbed (I just pulse it in my food processor)
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1-2 Tablespoons Italian seasoning (to taste)
  
• 2 cups, (1- 8oz. package) Mozzarella cheese, shredded, or cubed

• - for Topping & Serving. 16 oz. Pizza Sauce

--------------------------------------

Preheat oven to 350 f degrees

Now you have to decide what you want to do with the mozzarella cheese.
You have three options.... I have tried each of them with wonderful results.
So... whatcha wanna do?

Options

A. Blend the mozzarella cheese into the meatloaf mixture so you get some in every bite.

B. Stuff your meatloaves with mozzarella cheese so it oozes and stretches when ya cut into it.

C. Top with Mozzarella cheese for melted cheese & Pizza-like.


Directions

Option A "blended" =

1. In a large bowl, mix all of the ingredients, blend well. (I use my hands or my Kitchen aid mixer with the dough hook attachment)
2. Shape handfuls of the meat mixture into individual sized loaves. I aim for approx 1/2 lb loaves, giving me 8-9 loaves from this recipe. make them as small or as big as you like.
3. Bake for approx 30 - 40 minutes. or until the internal temperature reaches 160 degrees F.
   
4. remove from oven and top each meatloaf with a generous spoonful of warm pizza sauce
   
5. Enjoy!

-------------------------
Option B "stuffed" =

1. In a large bowl, mix all ingredients EXCEPT mozzarella cheese. Mix until well blended.
2. Shape handfuls of the meat mixture into large flat ovals. Place some mozzarella cheese in the center, then roll the meatloaf mixture around the cheese, pinching to seal all seams. I aim for approx 1/2 lb loaves, giving me 8-9 loaves from this recipe. make them as small or as big as you like.
3. Bake for approx 30-35 minutes. or until the internal temperature reaches 160 degrees F.
4. Remove from oven and top each meatloaf with a generous spoonful of warm pizza sauce
5. Enjoy!

--------------------------

Option C "topped" =

1. In a large bowl, mix all ingredients EXCEPT mozzarella cheese. Mix until well blended.
2. Shape handfuls of the meat mixture into individual sized loaves. I aim for approx 1/2 lb loaves, giving me 8-9 loaves from this recipe. make them as small or as big as you like.
3. Bake for approx 30 minutes.
   
4. Top with shredded Mozzarella cheese, return to oven and continue cooking for an additional 10 min,or until the internal temperature reaches 160 degrees F.
5. Remove from oven and top each meatloaf with a generous spoonful of warm pizza sauce.
6. Enjoy!

**TIP**

• I usually bake these in a broiler pan, so any grease/drippings fall through the pan and my cute little loaves don't sit in it.
• Add whatever you want to these little loaves...
• Your family love mushrooms? Toss some in!
• Gotta have pepperoni on anything "pizza"??
• Chop up some peperoni and go with it! (yum! by the way!)
• Anchovies?? ummm. no way now how!... Ok, if you really want em you can have em. (bleck!)
  

Freezing Instructions..

• Let the meatloaves cool.
• Seal in freezer bags removing all of the air that you can. (OR use your trusty vacuum sealer.. I would be lost without mine!)
• Label those bags! no matter how sure you are that you'll remember whats in the bag.. it never fails... 2 months from now you won't have a clue!
• Toss in the freezer.
• To serve... Thaw in fridge, then toss in a 350 oven for 20 min. or Toss those puppies in the microwave and eat them in 4 minutes!
  
• Have fun with it!
  

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